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We present interactive
workshops on systemic coaching, happiness, resolving family chaos and
relationship diagnosis.
Preview
This is for students of Soulwork Systemic Coaching, to
show the relationship between the systemic matrix
diagnosis and other diagnostic tools taught in Soulwork Life Coach
Training; and some of the more common systemic complaints that Soulwork
resolves.
You can assess and predict human relationship behavior using
the systemic matrix in conjunction with Soulwork goal diagnosis
and non-verbal diagnosis; and with Dr Clare Graves' values
hierarchy, Dr Gregory Bateson's logical types, the
Myer's Briggs personality types.
Diagnosis in Systemic Coaching
Although any diagnosis by other health professionals is
recorded and considered during Soulwork coaching, Soulwork primarily uses
a systemic diagnosis to help people assess
and evaluate their lives, habits and futures. As the systemic matrix
usually provides the most
valuable information in the least time, this information can be correlated, tested,
confirmed and integrated with other diagnostic tools.
- Relationship Diagnosis: assess your current
relationships and your current consequences from your past relationships
- History Diagnosis: assess your life patterns and
your consequences of changing and not changing them
- Trauma Diagnosis: assess your current consequences
from past emotional events
- Goal Diagnosis: assess your consequences
of your expectations and goals, and of your inaction
- Non-verbal Diagnosis: assess your objections
to your own past actions and to your own goals (your congruence)
- Values Diagnosis: applies the systemic
research of Dr Clare Graves to assess your relationship values
- Levels of Abstraction: applies the research of
Dr. Gregory Bateson (logical types) to assess your cognitive style
- Myer's Briggs: applies the research of Isobel
Briggs-Myers (personality profiling) to assess your personality
preferences
Systemic Relationship Diagnosis
A systemic matrix represents the collective perceptions of
human relationship systems, from multiple perceptual
positions. Goal diagnosis uncovers the unwanted consequences and
side-effects of both goals and strategies for achieving those goals.
Together, systemic matrix and goal diagnosis provide rapid
situational analysis
and indicates appropriate changework strategies and change management sequences.
Simultaneously, non-verbal diagnosis can check the validity of
any changework sequence by exploring non-verbal (or unconscious) objections
to the goals or the chosen strategies for achieving those goals.
These tools help a Soulwork coach recognize relationship entanglements.
Dissolving entanglements provides a profound sense of integrity -
a sense of self, a sense of family or team, a sense of
mission and sense of life - for long periods. This sense of integrity is available for
all responsible
individuals, couples, teams or families. It is the opposite of
depression. It is an experience of a life that makes sense. Many people describe this
experience
as "enlightening". The opposite of integrity in relationships might be
symbiosis or codependence.
Psychobiology
&
Integrity .
Coaching & Chaos . Schizophrenia
. Codependence
Relationship Entanglements
Systemic relationship entanglements are unwanted emotional bonds
between people. Entanglements can generate enormous suffering, and are both the cause and
effect of strange relationship behavior. The consequences of entanglements
include depression, conflicts, insomnia, accidents, illness and death.
Children and immature adults often excuse themselves,
blame
others, complain and justify their entangled behavior. However, most people (and organizational
systems)
will suffer before they seek remedial coaching. For most people, suffering is an
essential step towards health.
Depression can also result if a person is systemically
entangled with organizations - especially organizations that restrict
communications with your friends or family members. Systemic
Exit
Coaching can help people sort out systemic entanglements with groups
and organizations.
Other causes of depression include transferences at work -
for example if a person confuses colleagues or employees with family members - which may cause
distress if your well-meaning expressions are ignored or rebuffed.
Exit Coaching .
Case Study: Systemic Coaching at Work
Note that although most people want full
disclosure about their illness, many seriously ill older persons, and their
caregivers, may not be able to understand systemic diagnostic or prognostic
information, or respond to the labels with stress or
depression.
Helping professionals, executives and managers who can
recognize the following behaviors can predict problems, get help early and
protect themselves and their organizations from legal consequences.
Identity Loss
In any family (or other human system), people are alert to
justice and guilt, and respond to perceived injustice. Their responses will reflect
family history, and the examples set by parents and grandparents. Some common responses
to systemic injustice include
identity loss:
- Cannot change behavior (Identity Bonds)
- Cannot express own life choices (Identifications)
- Cannot make decisions without deep conflict (Identity
Conflict)
- Cannot describe, feel or express emotions
(Lost Identity)
See Chaos Theory and
Schizophrenia about the long-term resolution
of identity loss.
Identifications
A member of a family may identify with
another member who is perceived as having been treated unjustly. Some
common
identifications have predictable sets
of symptoms:
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Victim identification: chronic anger, suspicion,
vandalism and possibly violence
- Dead person identification: chronic
sadness, melancholy and possibly suicide
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Hero identification: chronic fear, anxiety
attacks and
possibly agoraphobia
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Dependent identification: chronic guilt,
self-sabotage and chronic depression
People with
identifications may express volatile
emotional outbursts (of the emotion indicated). A search for the
emotional triggers often indicates the causative entanglement, the type of identification and a
strategy
for its resolution. In extreme or delayed cases, an identified person may lose emotional control and
may be diagnosed as psychotic.
Combinations of identification are possible - for example
a person may identify with a dead victim. Also, contextual identifications
are much more common - identifying with another person ONLY during a certain
action or when a specific stimulus is present.
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Psychosis is exaggerated normality!
Teresa Mocna (Soulwork Graduate) |
Identity Conflict
A person may simultaneously identify with
both parents (or two high-authority members of a system) who treat each other unjustly. We call the resulting condition Identity Conflict,
(a common description is split personality). A
person with identity conflict is often perceived as unpredictable and
untrustworthy, with behavior swinging between two polarities. A decision or
promise that a person makes when experiencing one polarity may be forgotten or ignored when
experiencing the
other.
Attempts to dissociate
(cut off or ignore) a disliked polarity tend to increase the conflict. In extreme
cases, a person may be diagnosed
with bipolar disorder or, if amnesic of the personality changes, multiple personality syndrome.
Transcript: Identity
Conflict . Bipolar
Disorder
Lost Identity
A person who loses the ability to describe
emotions, and then to feel emotions, may later lose sense of self. This is
called Lost Identity in Soulwork.
(A common
description of one type is nervous breakdown). Lost
Identity often results
from experiencing or witnessing abuse, or from being ignored as a child. Most people with Lost Identity can
function (often in a depressed and somewhat robot-like manner) in life, but
they may not participate in their lives. Lost Identity may be diagnosed as
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), chronic depression and
codependence.
Trauma & PTSD .
Child Abuse .
Codependence
Relationship Bonds
Some people stay in a human system despite having good reasons
to leave. Such people are often emotionally bonded, which sabotage attempts to leave.
Relationship bonds often manifest as depression - as helplessness
and hopelessness - with beliefs such as "I must do as I am told"
or "I
cannot leave". This behavior is typical in people who dislike or
despise a relationship system such as a family, community or organization, yet cling to it.
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Identity bonds
may be
installed by cults, cult-like organizations
and some therapists. Bonded people can justify behavior that may be
called neurotic or psychotic. Exit Coaching is useful for
people who wish to end their entanglement
or enmeshment with extremist organizations.
Exit Coaching
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Systemic Solutions
You can find solutions for systemic entanglements
during relationship diagnosis and evaluation. Each systemic symptom can be cross-referenced
with
history, relationship diagnosis, non-verbal feedback and goal diagnosis.
Then a changework plan can be made to control unpleasant symptoms and get
what you want.
Systemic Solutions can provide prompt relief and lasting benefit for responsible people
who want to control depressing symptoms, enjoy life and fulfill happy relationships.
Systemic Solutions provides deep insights into the life
path of individuals and partnerships,
and to the survival of organizations. These insights provide and integrate
a profound sense of justice and dignity, kindness and compassion, humility
and connectedness.
Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? We train
people to coach individuals, partners and teams to resolve a wide range of emotional, educational and relationship challenges.
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