Success coaching can be simple if you have no benefit for failing! However, your success may be complicated by your circumstances, relationships, mental or physical disease, conflicts, limiting beliefs, unpleasant emotions or toxic role models.

Relationship Diagnosis We can coach you to assess and predict their life situations by analyzing your "relationship matrix". (A relationship matrix is a semi-conscious "map" of the perceived spatial positions of your relationships.) This provides much information required for your subsequent Relationship Clarification, Guilt Management and Goal Coaching.

Relationship Clarification We can coach you to untangle relationships. This makes space for accelerated Goal Diagnosis and Goal Coaching. This includes recognizing and dissolving "transference" and relationships with people who are valued for what they represent rather than who they are.

Guilt Management Guilt refers to an unpleasant body sensation - and to a depressed sense-of-life that often follows harming somebody. Guilt most frequently follows perceived harm to a parent, a partner or a child. We can coach you and your family or team to sort out guilt issues to enhance your "sense-of-life" and re-access youthful motivation.

Goal Diagnosis We can coach you to assess and predict appropriate steps to your chosen success. We listen and respond to your verbal and nonverbal (unconscious) communication associated with each step. This clarifies the nature and extent of your "blocks" to success, and your needed resources.

Goal Coaching We can coach you to define and plan your congruent goals. We can coach you to clarify philosophy, negative goals, conflicts and abstractions that you may have in place of goals.

Conflict Resolution We can coach you to find your overall life direction by recognizing and resolving conflicts. We coach individuals, couples and teams to make basic life decisions, or to integrate any complex multiple-goal conflicts.

Identity Changework We can coach you to resolve your existential identity issues (identity loss) - that we call Lost Identity, Identifications and Identity Conflict. We can coach you through this deep and delicate work that integrates relationship diagnosis, goal diagnosis, goal coaching and conflict resolution.

Belief Changework Many toxic beliefs represent connections to important people. These connections are often perceived as "unwanted influence" or manipulation, and usually concern issues of power. Toxic beliefs may also involve the control or influence of assets, actions, beliefs and/or values. We can coach you to identify toxic beliefs - and to carefully change the relationships that require such bonds.

Trauma Resolution We coach you to identify and dissolve limiting emotions. Limiting emotions usually represent unresolved past trauma, which you may have forgot. Following trauma resolution, your motivation can flow, together with recovered resources or qualities that had been lost or forgotten since the trauma.

Expert Modeling We coach you to identify and improve their expert strategies. This includes resolving objections to success, identifying both conscious and unconscious strategies and refining these strategies for your peak performance. Then duplicate expert performance strategies in motivated individuals. Expert modeling often includes improving decisions, creativity and motivation.

Mentorship We coach you to identify and disconnect from toxic role models and to find inspirational mentors for important goals. After dissolving relationship and emotional "blocks", mentorship can provide ongoing inspiration.

Overview of Soulwork Systemic Coaching

Soulwork Systemic Coaching explores what you want, where you are now and how you can succeed. Systemic Coaching goals include your material success, desired emotions and relationship success.

Crisis & Maturity

What do you want? Does a life crisis prevent you, a friend, family member or an employee from focusing on goals? We can coach you to resolve crises SO THAT coaching becomes possible. Many people "age-regress" in a crisis, and act childishly. If you wait for others to resolve crises FOR you, you may become immature and dependent! We coach you to resolve your own crises!

Entanglements & Guilt

What do you want? Goals often indicate to whom you are entangled. We coach you to resolve relationship entanglements that interfere with your goals. Common relationship entanglements are with parents, partners, ex-partners and children. Relationship confusion (e.g. reacting to your partner as if to a parent, or responding to your employee as if to a child) has predictable and unpleasant consequences. Resolving entanglements accelerates your subsequent coaching ... and your life.

[ Emotional Incest ] [ Mother-Son Entanglements ] [ Father-Daughter Entanglements ]

Conflict & Integrity

What do you want? Conflicting goals may indicate choices or problems. We can coach you to identify and dissolve conflict. You may show conflicts both verbally and non-verbally, often as lack of action or short-term motivation. We can coach you to find the hidden benefits of conflicts, and to resolve them. After resolving inner conflict, you can focus on congruent action plans.

The end of conflict is an experience of integrity. This experience seems to transcend both space and time, and is often called "connectedness". We can coach you to find and stabilize this experience as a life-resource, while defining your life directions (or mission or purpose). After experiencing and stabilizing integrity, your subsequent coaching is increasingly self-directed.

Relationship Bonds & Beliefs

As you specify "life goals", you may find limiting beliefs hindering fulfillment of these goals. We can coach you to recognize and change key emotional bonds and relationship beliefs. Each step increases freedom and possibilities. We can coach you to specify a life direction into a sensible sequence of well-defined, meaningful steps. As you change your relationship bonds, subsequent coaching becomes increasingly concrete.

[ Resolving Relationship Bonds with Soulwork ]

Trauma, PTSD & Motivation

People may have plans for important goals, yet lack motivation due to some trauma. We can coach you to resolve motivational blocks. We can coach you to transform your "unpleasant" emotions into motivation. For example, sadness for time wasted can become motivation to enjoy whatever time remains. As trauma is resolved, you find motivation to reach your chosen goals.

[ Resolving Trauma and PTSD with Soulwork ]

Mentors & Inspiration

You may have motivation but little inspiration! We can coach you to evaluate past and present role models, disconnect from toxic role-models, and to choose and model inspirational mentors that inspired them to achieve their goals. With focus, integrity, supportive beliefs, motivation and inspirational mentorship - you can find and fulfill their goals - and life purpose!

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Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1998, 2006 All rights reserved.

Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? We can train you to coach individuals, partners and teams to resolve a wide range of emotional, educational and relationship challenges.

Are you motivated and emotionally stable? You can coach people to gain clarity, dissolve success and relationship issues, and understand what makes sense in life. You can help people build success and quality relationships. You can help people fulfill their dreams.