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Soulwork Systemic Coaching: Summary

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Emotional Issues
Addictions
Anger & Rage
Anxiety
Dependence
Depression

Dissociation
Eating Problems
Emotional Maturity
Grief & Loss
Immaturity
Inner Child

Pain Control
Sadness
Stress Relief

Toxic Beliefs
Trauma & Stress
Weight Loss

 

Relationship Problems
Abuse
Affairs

Codependence
Dissolve Conflicts
Divorce
Emotional Blackmail

Enjoy Partnership
Evaluate Partners
Long-Distance Love
Love & Hate

Partnership
Past Partners
Premarital
Rejection
Sexual Issues
Soul Mates

 

Family Challenges
Abuse

Abortion
Adoption
Ancestors
Brothers & Sisters
Divorce & Children
Emotional Incest
Family Meetings
Family Secrets

Fathers & Daughters
Fathers & Sons
Learning Disorders
Mothers & Daughters
Mothers & Sons

Parental Alienation

 

Life Lessons
Authority
Bad Habits
Being Alone
Children's Challenges
Communication
Observing Feelings

Patterns in Love
Personal Growth
Quantum Leap
Self Esteem
Self Improvement
Self Intimacy
Stress & Relaxing
Therapist and Clients

 

Specialties
Chaos Coaching

Inner Conflict
Consciousness
Expert Modeling
Leadership
Learning Disorders
Mentorship

Psychobiology
Sexual Abuse
Soul of Soulwork
Systemic Management
Therapist Abuse
Training Abuse

 

 

Interview with Martyn
Disclaimer
Disclosure
Privacy
Fee, Cost, Price
 

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Dreaming Together with Interactive Metaphors
Simplicity Made Easy Martyn Carruthers

Online Help: Counseling & Therapy


Dreaming Together allows deep and innovative changework.
We adapt ourselves to our clients, rather than insisting that they adapt to us.

Writing about Dreaming Together is a paradox.
If I left this page blank, we could better explore our own reflections.

Do you have emotional issues or endless relationship problems? Although such issues are often centered around childhood disappointments - the issues can persist throughout adult life. How can you get off these toxic roundabouts?

We can help you end self-sabotage and experience being part of the complex system which includes your memories, relationships and consequences. Our dreaming together can be a huge step towards solving your problems and fulfilling your goals.

Dreaming Together: Simplicity Made Easy

In the Hawaiian language, ho'omoe (literally making dreams) also means traveling together. Our Dreamwork was inspired by Hawaiian moe uhane, which I learned from native Hawaiian healers and integrated into our work.

Ho`omoe wai kahi ke kao`o
(Hawaiian: Let us travel together like water flowing in one direction).

When dreaming together, we respect ourselves, other people and the environment within which we co-exist. We accompany people into their dreams - into their subjective or emotional realities - while remaining awake, conscious and alert. We walk with them on these strange, wonderful and sometimes scary journeys.

Dreaming together is not an escape from everyday routines - it is like experiencing the cutting-edge of our ongoing reality before we chop it into words. It interrupts our habits and mind chatter so that we can experience what's happening now. We can then focus on what we are doing now.

You seemed to hear what I could not say ... you coached me to coach myself ...
I changed many of my negative beliefs into exciting options ...

Dreaming together provides a highway to integrity (the Soul of Soulwork) that is central to our work. Our coaching toolkit, while rather effective, is secondary to it. While dreaming together, we can create techniques, adapt them and discard them as we accompany people on their definitive journeys.

You bent your methods to fit me - you did not try to bend me to fit your methods!

Dreaming Together is not Hypnosis, Programming or Persuasion!

Dreaming together enables us to accept and apply other perspectives than our own, to better help people explore emotions and relationships. Without it, people may feel stressed if we discuss their hidden emotions, beliefs and relationship issues.

Dreaming together is much more than simple rapport or trust. This dreamtime work allows us to access a shared sense of being that includes our memories and our potentials. Dreaming  together provides space within which we can both transform. (See also Chaos Coaching)

During these shared dreams, many people laugh and cry (often together) as they describe being intensely present and sensitive to their feelings, environment and relationships, and to an awareness of, "How am I choosing to live my life this moment?" And this eternal moment can last forever.

Can you hear what they cannot say?

Words often disturb true listening.
Words attempt to fill the intimate void offered by silence.

A major block to dreaming together is self-talk or internal dialog - your imagined commentary about the meanings or implications of your ongoing experience. Examples are worrying, self-criticism or repeating a hallucinated song in your mind; all inner chatter that you may be unable to stop.

If you pay attention to your internal dialog, you may find that it is rather repetitive and boring. But who are you when you stop talking to yourself? Who are you without your memories, your education, your expectations, your beliefs and your thoughts? Who would you be right now - without your illusions of past and future? What happens to your life when you stop describing it to yourself?

This can be wonderful - or scary. Direct experiences of who you are - rather than telling yourself who you might be - can take you into a strange world where everything changes while staying the same. For many people it is an ecstatic state of freedom, and for some few it can be the essence of terror.

The Vijnana Bhairava Tantra (a text of Kashmir Shivaism) teaches that every person
has an infinite dimension. One way to access it is to imagine that your body is totally
empty, and that your skin is a thin shell. Imagine that your breath moves in an empty
 space, like a wind that can blow away your thoughts, memories and expectations.

When you finally stop the chatter - you may forget what you were doing and why. It's easy to get lost in the void. We recommend that you ask an experienced coach to accompany you, to ensure your safety and help your orientation to resonance, reception and actualization.

You showed me how I can take vacations from myself.

Resonance & Sharing

Create yourself out of nothing! Make up your mind!

Does it seem that you attract people with your own problems? When someone describes their life challenges, you may automatically recall some events in your own life that seems to match their situations, and then you may choose to withhold or share your sense of resonance.

You helped me find a space in which I could change. I didn't have to learn
your theories, follow your directions or adapt to your methods. I just changed.

By sharing, we choose to relate more as equals. If we share our experiences, we can seek ways to move forward together. Sharing dreams is not only integrated into our work, it is integrated into how we cooperate as human beings.

Questioning & Silent Listening

Both questioning and silent listening are integral parts of our Soulwork coaching. Our many questioning formats are relatively easy to follow. Silent listening ... accepting without editing ... is difficult for many Western people (although monks at a monastery in Nepal told me that, for them, such not-doing is easy).

Silent listening can also evoke a timeless emptiness - a void of nothing with the potential for everything. The void is full - full of potential! Sometimes the void seems to contain potential answers for every question, and potential solutions for every situation.

Many people spontaneously experience these timeless moments during our coaching as they step towards the Soul of Soulwork - towards the experience that we call integrity. The void is a predictable experience on the path to integrity.

Learn how to use ecstatic awareness to change the
issues that prevent you from entering ecstatic awareness!

Let us create a connected space between us. From this space you can identify and manage emotional and relationship problems and find lasting solutions for unwanted habits. In this space you can change emotional entanglements and bonded beliefs.

Do you want to explore your emotions that so often underlie complaints ... and the relationship issues that generate your emotions ... and the ability to change the relationship issues that create your emotions?

Do you want to manage your emotions and solve relationship conflicts?

Online Help: Counseling & Soulwork Training

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2011-2017 All rights reserved.


If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention www.SystemicPsychology.com or www.EmotionsRelationships.com

For online help, email us at: europecoach@gmail.com

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii

 

Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

 
Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia
 

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland

 

 

Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2017 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email europecoach@gmail.com