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Soulwork Systemic Coaching: Summary

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Emotional Issues
Addictions
Anger & Rage
Anxiety
Dependence
Depression

Dissociation
Eating Problems
Emotional Maturity
Grief & Loss
Immaturity
Inner Child

Pain Control
Sadness
Stress Relief

Toxic Beliefs
Trauma & Stress
Weight Loss

 

Relationship Problems
Abuse
Affairs

Codependence
Dissolve Conflicts
Divorce
Emotional Blackmail

Enjoy Partnership
Evaluate Partners
Long-Distance Love
Love & Hate

Partnership
Past Partners
Premarital
Rejection
Sexual Issues
Soul Mates

 

Family Challenges
Abuse

Abortion
Adoption
Ancestors
Brothers & Sisters
Divorce & Children
Emotional Incest
Family Meetings
Family Secrets

Fathers & Daughters
Fathers & Sons
Learning Disorders
Mothers & Daughters
Mothers & Sons

Parental Alienation

 

Life Lessons
Authority
Bad Habits
Being Alone
Children's Challenges
Communication
Observing Feelings

Patterns in Love
Personal Growth
Quantum Leap
Self Esteem
Self Improvement
Self Intimacy
Stress & Relaxing
Therapist and Clients

 

Specialties
Chaos Coaching

Inner Conflict
Consciousness
Expert Modeling
Leadership
Learning Disorders
Mentorship

Psychobiology
Sexual Abuse
Soul of Soulwork
Systemic Management
Therapist Abuse
Training Abuse

 

 

Interview with Martyn
Disclaimer
Disclosure
Privacy
Fee, Cost, Price
 

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Solve Partnership & Marriage Problems
Happy Relationships Martyn Carruthers & Kosjenka Muk

Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy


Do you want to manage your emotions and solve relationship conflicts?
 We offer relationship coaching, marriage counseling and supervision.

Happy Ever After?

How did you learn about partnership? From books? (... the handsome prince met the beautiful princess and they lived happily ever after). Did you learn by watching your parents and relatives? Perhaps you learned about love from TV, movies or popular music?

Without effective counseling, many people repeat their bad habits, always wondering "Why me?" Yet good intentions for partnership or marriage so often become unpleasant entanglements, dysfunction, alienation and separation.

Although most people dream of sharing happiness in partnership, partners often get lost in enmeshments and damage their relationships. Our couple counseling helps people dissolve transferences, toxic bonds and fixations.

Premarital Counseling . End of a Partnership

Staying Together

We often begin by exploring goals, complaints and values. We ask both partners, "Can you commit to your own happiness in this partnership?"

  • If both answer "Yes", we ask "How do you want to share love with your partner?"
  • If one answers "No" or "Don't know", we help you Evaluate your Partnership.

Many couples who separate or divorce could be happy together. They could support each other's goals, fulfill each others' needs and and walk through life together. On the other hand, many people stay together in unhappy partnerships, even when they both want to separate.

We help people build relationship happiness that can have a lasting and profound effects - we help both partners change emotional conflicts into positive discussions, and the shape of a partnership that can fulfill both their desires.

If either partner assumes that the other should accurately guess their desires, then a  partner's poor guessing may seem to indicate a lack of love, and happy partnership may seem impossible.

If you forget your partner's qualities, you may suffer limiting beliefs (e.g. "My partner is lonely, so I must stay home while my friends go out without me").

We attended marriage counseling and I always felt beaten up ... My husband asked
if the bad experiences of his early family could play a part in our marriage.
The counselor said NO! We were still fumbling with this six years later
... thanks for your enlightening sessions
Texas

Desires, Wishes & Requests

Expressing wishes and goals helps show a readiness to fulfill a partner's desires and goals. People who are committed to their partnerships or marriages will likely search for creative and interesting ways to fulfill their partners' desires.

Some desires will not be fulfilled. Partners will have different priorities, commitments, beliefs, emotions, habits or finances. Although one may refuse to fulfill a wish, that refusal need not threaten the partnership - unless the wish is a non-negotiable requirement or demand about a central or core issue.

A requirement or demand may imply, "For our relationship to continue, you must ..."  For more on relationship demands see Evaluating Partnership.

Although no solution can satisfy every couple, we help most couples solve relationship problems. The relief of expressing desires and receiving a partner's feedback is often followed by increased trust and intimacy. This surge of love can empower both partners to solve life challenges rather than to avoid them.

Partnership Coaching and Marriage Counseling

We help people solve whatever STOPS them solving their own problems. We help partners become each other's best resource. We coach partners to coach each other. We assist existing partners to:

  • find solutions for partnership problems
  • evaluate unspoken messages to each other
  • solve problems together as resourceful, caring adults
  • communicate desires and requests fully and accurately
  • manage emotional entanglements, trauma and toxic history

Getting Ready for Happiness

We can help you make space for happy partnership with individual coaching for both partners separately; followed by couple counseling together.

  • Many relationship problems (e.g. unhealthy bonds to parents or past-partners) and guilt issues (e.g. family secrets and betrayals) can be resolved during preparatory individual coaching with both partners.
     
  • Many existential issues that impact a partnership (e.g. parental relationship problems or emotional trauma) can be resolved during our individual work.
     
  • If you or your partner doubts whether you want a committed, long-term partnership, see Evaluating Partnership and Partnership Breakdown.

    You helped us discuss our values, resolve our conflicts and plan our goals.
    You exposed us as real people instead of cardboard cutouts.
    You helped us decide how to express and receive love.

Objections & Commitments

Clear commitments from both you and your partner is a resource for resolving issues - even heavy issues such as abandonment, abuse, betrayal and adultery.

The most common objections to commitment represent the lack of shared values, or the presence of unresolved bonds - often to a parent or a previous partner.

Do you doubt yourself as a partner? Do you prefer manipulation to cooperation? Do you lose yourself in trivial arguments or withdraw into depression or obsessions?

We can help you manage:

  • miscommunications (e.g. arguments about responsibilities)
  • objections (e.g. saying "Yes" while shaking your head "No")
  • transferences (you respond as if the other other were someone else)
  • meaningless, confusing, negative, conflicting or abstract communication

Our couple counseling is complete when both partners can resourcefully discuss any desire, conflict or life challenge; and feel ready to handle future challenges.

Contact us to solve emotional problems and manage relationship issues

Online Relationship Coaching, Marriage Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1998-2017 All rights reserved.


If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention www.SystemicPsychology.com or www.EmotionsRelationships.com

Email us at: europecoach@gmail.com

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii

 

Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

 
Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia
 

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland

 

 

Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do your emotions block you? Resolve relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2017 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email europecoach@gmail.com