Do you want to manage your emotions and solve relationship conflicts?
We offer relationship coaching, marriage counseling and supervision.
Happy Ever After?
How did you learn about partnership? From books?
(... the handsome prince met the beautiful princess and they
lived happily ever after). Did you learn by watching your
parents and relatives? Perhaps you learned about love from TV, movies
or popular music?
Without effective counseling, many people repeat their bad habits, always
wondering "Why me?" Yet good intentions for partnership or
marriage so often become unpleasant entanglements, dysfunction, alienation and
Although most people dream of sharing happiness in partnership, partners
often get lost in enmeshments and damage their relationships.
Our couple counseling helps people dissolve transferences, toxic
bonds and fixations.
. End of a Partnership
We often begin by exploring goals, complaints and
values. We ask both partners, "Can
you commit to your own happiness in this partnership?"
- If both answer "Yes",
we ask "How do you want to share love with your
- If one answers "No" or
"Don't know", we help you
Evaluate your Partnership.
Many couples who separate or divorce could
be happy together. They could support each other's goals, fulfill each others'
needs and and walk through life together.
On the other hand, many people stay together in unhappy partnerships, even when they both
want to separate.
We help people build relationship happiness that can have a
lasting and profound effects - we help both partners
change emotional conflicts into positive discussions, and the shape of a partnership that can fulfill
both their desires.
If either partner assumes that the other should accurately
guess their desires, then a partner's poor guessing may seem to indicate a
lack of love, and happy partnership may seem impossible.
If you forget your partner's qualities, you may suffer limiting beliefs (e.g. "My partner is lonely,
so I must stay home while my friends go out without me").
We attended marriage counseling
and I always felt beaten up ... My husband asked
if the bad experiences
of his early family could play a part in our marriage.
said NO! We were still fumbling with this six years later
... thanks for your
enlightening sessions Texas
Desires, Wishes & Requests
Expressing wishes and goals helps show a readiness to fulfill a
partner's desires and goals. People who
are committed to their partnerships or marriages will likely search
for creative and interesting ways to fulfill their partners' desires.
Some desires will not be fulfilled. Partners will
have different priorities, commitments, beliefs, emotions, habits or
finances. Although one may refuse to fulfill a wish, that refusal need not
threaten the partnership - unless the wish is a non-negotiable
requirement or demand about a central or core issue.
A requirement or demand
may imply, "For our relationship to continue, you must ..." For more on relationship demands see
Although no solution can satisfy every couple, we help most
couples solve relationship problems. The relief of expressing desires
and receiving a partner's feedback is often followed by increased trust
and intimacy. This surge of love can empower both partners to solve
life challenges rather than to avoid them.
Partnership Coaching and Marriage Counseling
We help people solve whatever STOPS them solving their own
problems. We help partners become each other's best resource.
We coach partners to coach each other. We assist existing partners to:
- find solutions for partnership problems
- evaluate unspoken messages to each other
- solve problems together as resourceful, caring adults
- communicate desires and requests fully and accurately
- manage emotional entanglements, trauma and toxic history
Getting Ready for Happiness
We can help you make space for happy partnership with individual coaching for both partners
separately; followed by couple counseling together.
Objections & Commitments
Clear commitments from both you and your partner is a resource
for resolving issues - even heavy issues such as abandonment,
abuse, betrayal and adultery.
The most common objections to commitment represent the lack
of shared values, or the presence of unresolved bonds -
often to a parent or a previous partner.
Do you doubt yourself as a partner? Do you prefer
manipulation to cooperation? Do you lose yourself in trivial arguments
or withdraw into depression or obsessions?
We can help you manage:
- miscommunications (e.g. arguments about responsibilities)
- objections (e.g. saying "Yes"
while shaking your head "No")
- transferences (you respond as if
the other other were someone else)
- meaningless, confusing, negative, conflicting or abstract communication
Our couple counseling is complete when both partners can resourcefully
discuss any desire, conflict or life challenge; and feel ready to handle
Contact us to solve emotional problems and manage relationship
Relationship Coaching, Marriage Counseling & Soulwork Therapy
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Martyn Carruthers 1998-2018
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