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The Relationship Coaching Institute

Deconditioning, Deprogramming & Exit Coaching

Martyn Carruthers

Personality changes that may be abrupt and sometimes frightening may indicate involvement with extremist groups that use psychological techniques generally called coercive influence, brainwashing or mind control, to recruit and keep members.

This is about and for people who want to leave extremist religious, military, political or commercial groups, in which the leaders or group members control their lives and attempt to resist their leaving by creating psychological bonds. An extremist group may use harassment and blackmail or threats of imprisonment and torture. Some populations are subject to egocentric, ethnocentric and xenophobic propaganda.

Systemic solutions are also useful for people whose friends or family are involved in extremist groups, or who obsess about such groups and their activities, and who wish freedom from obsession.

Words like extremist, cult and sect are difficult to define for all perspectives. Many businesses, militaries, governments and professional associations can be described as extremist - and people admiring one religion may describe all other religions as cults and sects. (Cults promote a new religion or a new interpretation of an established religion, while sects are groups that have broken away from an established religion, often in protest against what they see as corruption or impure doctrine. Encyclopedia Encarta 2003.)

Brainwashing and conditioning involves installing beliefs. Examples are: "Only we know the truth", "Anyone who attacks us is insane or criminal", "Thinking is evil" and "Criticism is proof of sickness". Many extremist groups attempt to place their leaders (living or dead) as substitute high-authority "parents" in the minds of the membership (father-gods and mother-goddesses), and the group membership are often presented as (and even called) brothers and sisters. Connections to family and former friends are often strongly discouraged. Members may then feel tremendous guilt if they even consider leaving their "sacred new family". However, such people are typically unaware that they have been influenced, and often support their manipulators.

Coercive psychological influence overcomes critical thinking and free will. Victims cannot make independent decisions or exercise informed consent. Coercive influence takes several forms...

  1. Increase suggestibility with repeated activities, sleep deprivation and/or nutritional restrictions
  2. Control social environment and/or enforce social isolation
  3. Control communication and/or prohibit disconfirming information and opinions
  4. Destabilize consciousness, awareness and/or emotional defenses
  5. Undermine self-confidence and/or decision-making
  6. Create aversive emotions with humiliation, loss of privilege and/or isolation etc
  7. Intimidate with group-sanctioned psychological threats

Coercive influence is commonly used by manipulative sects, military organizations and totalitarian governments. If government sanctioned, extremist groups may evade exposure and prosecution for false imprisonment, involuntary servitude, intentional emotional distress and other tortuous acts.

Coercive mental conditioning; was once fought with "deconditioning" and "deprogramming"; words associated with illegal, coercive techniques used to counter brainwashing. These often-brutal methods included abductions, sleep deprivation, sensory overload, condemnations, isolation and sometimes physical confinement. Although some ex-cult-members have testified that these methods released them from "invisible prisons"; others successfully sued the deprogrammers. Coercive deprogramming involves considerable legal and psychological risk; and we do not provide, support or recommend such methods.

A deep understanding of human relationships provides safe alternatives. Exit Coaching gently helps distressed people stabilize emotions, communicate effectively and build healthy relationships.

[ Dependent Relationships . Space for Love . Soulwork Review ]

Exit Coaching

Coercive persuasion used by extremist groups is more likely to be emotional than intellectual. Their activities often involve relationships and rituals while dismissing intellectual analysis. Hence Exit Coaching evaluates and fundamentally changes emotionally charged relationships, while assisting people to evaluate factual information about the group they wish to leave.

Exit Coaching is for people who choose freedom from previous bonds. It is gentle, direct, intensive and time-limited. It emphasizes respectfully sharing information, and it should not be rushed. The keys to regaining freedom of thought and action are: rebuilding trust, dissolving guilt, improving important relationships and finding worthwhile life goals.

Exit Coaching is available during regular office visits, or during intensive multi-day coaching sessions. The total time depends mostly on a person's motivation to be part of the culture in which he or she lives. Often a person changes their lifestyle (their mini-culture) to suit their own goals.

As most extremist groups make sanctions against or about relationship activity, Exit Coaching provides solutions that support healthy relationships. (If the group supported promiscuous sex, then sexually transmitted diseases and/or unwanted pregnancies and/or abortions may complicate this work.)

[ Coaching Sexual Issues . Solutions for Sexual Issues . After Abortion ]

Exit Coaching typically costs $2,500 to $5,000 US. This would cover three 2-hour office visits per week for 6-12 weeks (36-72 contact hours) or 3-5 days of intensive coaching sessions (24-48 contact hours) at your location. Long-term follow-up (after a few months) is available.

Exit coaching is for motivated, responsible people who wish to change relationships and end obsessions with specified groups. Rapid and effective Exit Coaching requires:

  •  A motivated client who is well rested, alert, responsible and thinking clearly
  •  The involvement of as many family members and former-friends as possible
  •  Family members and friends contribute respectful, honest communication
  •  All involved are ready to make informed decisions about their relationships

Exit Coaching supports further changework for resolving traumatic and ritual abuse, substance addictions, existential crisis, etc.

Exit Coaching is provided by Martyn Carruthers and trained systemic coaches.

Helping professionals, trainers and coaches who wish to learn Systemic Solutions may attend experiential workshops, which are also applicable for ex-cult members who wish to redefine and renew their lives.

Resolving Relationship Chaos

5-day professional training

  • Clarify relationship chaos and transferences
  • Dissolve unconscious relationship entanglements
  • Dissolve guilt issues concerning parents, partners and children (and their substitutes)
  • Clarify relationships between friends, and between managers and employees
  • Choosing exercise partners and clients
  • How to stay resourceful in chaos
  • Introduction to Partnership Coaching

Advanced Goal Coaching

5-day professional training

  • Recognize and respond to verbal objections
  • Use communication blocks to build bridges
  • Goal diagnosis and whole-brain planning
  • Recognize non-verbal objections (body language)
  • Dissolve objections in ordinary conversation
  • Recognize and utilize spontaneous trance
  • Use both conscious and unconscious resources to make effective plans
  • Dissolving simple conflicts

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002, 2009 All rights reserved.


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The Relationship Coaching Institute
 
 
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America: PO Box 675, Honaunau, Hawaii, 96726 USA

Europe: Trnsko 13A, 10020 Zagreb, Croatia
For Systemic Solutions, email us at

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+1 808 328 9570

Ontario
+1 905 664 8844

Europe
+38 591 881 2682

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+612 (Sydney)

Workshop

Systemic Coach Training  (Calendar)

Systems 1 How to evaluate relationship dynamics and recognize common entanglements
Systems 2 How to define life goals, identify blocks, resolve objections & plan for success
Systems 3 How to provide or continue goalwork using interactive metaphors and Dreamwork
Systems 4 How to dissolve the consequences of abuse and trauma, and rebuild motivation
Systems 5 How to change limiting beliefs and codependence for emotional freedom
Systems 6 How to recognize and resolve identity loss: recover lost qualities and lost skills
Systems 7 How to resolve therapist or spiritual damage and provide inspirational mentorship
Systems 8 How to coach partners to build lasting happiness and avoid partnership breakdown
Systems 9 How to coach parents to resolve family problems and to set and enjoy family goals
Systems 10 How to coach team leaders to develop teams while solving team problems
Specialty Advanced workshops and specialty training tailored to fulfill your goals and needs

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2009 All rights reserved. These Systemic Solutions were primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers. We coach and train people to succeed by solving emotional and relationship problems. This information is for your general knowledge only. Please consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing any medical treatment. Link to our pages, but get Martyn's written permission to post or publish his work.

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