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Post-Abortion Coaching 3: Spiritual Consequences
PASS, Depression & Guilt Martyn Carruthers

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If sense of life can be replaced by guilt, shame and depression, then abortion is a deeply spiritual issue. If you feel emotional as you read this - consider contacting us.

1: Consequences of Abortion : 2: Relationship Consequences of Abortion

Spiritual Consequences of Abortion

Abortion offers high incomes for those people who are able and willing to provide it. Whether or not abortion is murder, and whether or not a fetus can experience pain are legal and medical opinions. However the relationship and spiritual consequences of abortions don't seem to care about good intentions nor professional opinions.

I already described some emotional consequences of abortion. Here I focus on the consequences of abortion on your long-term happiness and that of your family. (This is also relevant to other situations where children die - including accidents, murder, miscarriages, still-births, cot deaths and vanishing twins.)

During an abortion, the key people are the mother, the father and the aborted child, although abortions, miscarriages, stillbirths and cot deaths often affect siblings  - even those who are not told. A common reaction is chronic or lasting sadness - many people affected by abortions (or family secrets) have no idea about why they are suffering, depressed or sad. Many people look for a missing soul-mate.

The financial, medical and social benefits of abortions may seem obvious, while relationship problems, guilt and depression are be ignored. For me, spiritual consequences are about damaging your sense of life.

A conspiracy of silence seems to surround the well-documented suicides of women who have had abortions.

Primary Consequences - Disconnection

A common consequence of abortion seems to be an inability to feel joyously connected to families, partners, friends, communities, humanity or God. If sense of life can be replaced by shame and suffering, then abortion is a deeply spiritual issue.

Guilt, Shame & Clarification

Guilt depresses life. Being joyous may not make sense if you killed a child, or allowed your child to die. We help people manage guilt issues result from having hurt or betrayed people. Most people perceive a living fetus as a potential child.

People often describe some sort of unpleasant feeling that seems to limit or block the expression of love and happiness within a family. As we help people explore and assimilate their blocks - secret abortions, miscarriages, stillbirths or crib deaths often become obvious. When we coach people to clarify their relationships, many are surprised to identify a dead child as a significant relationship.

You told me that my problems would make more sense if my mother had an abortion
between my brother and me. I asked my mother and she said that she did have
an abortion at that time - in another town under a false name - and that
nobody - not even my father - knew about it.
Poland

Abortion & Intimacy

An abortion often decreases intimacy between partners. Sometimes separation or divorce follows an abortion, although the couples may not recognize that their separation is a common consequence of abortion.

If a woman arranges an abortion unwillingly, following an ultimatum from her partner, that either she arranges an abortion or he leaves, it seems likely that such couples will cease enjoy an intimate partnership, even if they physically stay together.

Similarly, if a pregnant girl is told by her parents to get an abortion or to leave the family home - it is hard to imagine happy family reunions after such an event.

If a woman has an abortion despite the father's desire for the child to be born, the consequences may include the end of intimacy, although the couple may stay together for financial or other practical reasons.

I was happy to be pregnant, but my husband made me have an abortion.
He threatened to leave if I didn't kill my baby. I got an abortion, but afterwards
I just felt like a cold fish in bed. It was two bad years before we divorced.
London

Ghosts, Abortions & Lost Children

Many people describe feeling haunted by ghosts or spirits. They are often seen as dark shapes close to the person, or felt as unpleasant cold feelings. Such experiences may trigger or cause depression and prevent long-term happiness.

As many religions forbid abortion, parents arranging abortions may feel a diminished relationship with their families, communities and with their God. We found that this diminished sense of life seems to be equally true for agnostics and atheists.

The birth order of children is important. Subsequent children, even if not told, may describe a hole in the family, and be strongly affected by it.

Compensation for Death

Following an abortion, the first pregnancy of the next born sibling often results in a miscarriage or is deliberately aborted, and/or the next living child often show signs of identification with a dead person (e.g. chronic sadness or melancholy).

Often the next-born sibling of an aborted child will make a lifelong search for a soul mate. Some people find and marry a person who seems to have the missing qualities. In this way, a hole in a family can be filled - temporarily at least.

Even following secret abortions, other family members may feel that something is not right, that something is missing. We help people dissolve such blocks and move on.

Identification with a Dead Person

If a living child unconsciously identifies with an aborted fetus, that child may grow up melancholic and highly sensitive to other people  (this includes psychic sensitivity - many psychics and spiritual healers boast about having dead spirit helpers). As children, they may be fascinated by death, dying and gore.

Occasionally, we meet people whose parents tried to abort them in a back street operation, and failed. Such children seem to grow up fearful and highly distrustful of one or both parents. It seems that babies can feel what happened in the womb, and respond to a mother's emotions even before birth.

Consequences to Abortionists

In our experience, people who profit from abortion may become increasingly dissociated (few if any emotions) and callous towards human life. They may become unable to enjoy intimate relationships, spiritual experiences or happiness. Instead, they more often seek for distractions from an empty life.

Your writing about abortion is nonsense. Abortion is not murder anymore than
liposuction, and the proper term is 'abortion doctor,' not 'abortionist.
Anonymous email

The families of abortionists and abortion clinic staff may search for distractions instead of happiness, and experience depression instead of joy. Their children may have a higher risk of depression, learning disabilities and psychosomatic disease.

Reality appears to have a spiritual dimension which can transform whatever it touches. Spirituality is about acquiring virtues that support long-term happiness ... and we often develop virtues during uncomfortable conditions.

Contact us if you want to solve emotional or relationship problems.

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I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft Martyn Carruthers 1998-2017 All rights reserved


If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention www.SystemicPsychology.com or www.EmotionsRelationships.com

For online help, email us at: europecoach@gmail.com

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Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2017 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email europecoach@gmail.com