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Emotional Issues
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Chaos Coaching

Inner Conflict
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Learning Disorders
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Psychobiology
Sexual Abuse
Soul of Soulwork
Systemic Management
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Online Solutions: Post-Abortion Coaching 2
Solve Abortion Consequences © Martyn Carruthers

Online Life Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy


The consequences of abortion and miscarriage can include guilt,
shame and depression, for the parents and any siblings.
Contact us if you feel negative emotions as you read this.

1: Emotional Consequences of Abortion  :  3: Spiritual Consequences of Abortion

Relationship Consequences of Abortion

Abortion seems to affect sense of life. People affected by abortion may become unable to feel joyously connected to their friends, partners, families, humanity and to their God. If human connectedness is replaced by depression and suffering, then abortion is a spiritual issue. We help people find solutions for the relationship problems and emotional consequences of abortion, and other family secrets.

When my girlfriend got pregnant, I was happy ... I wanted to marry her and become a father ...
she had an abortion without asking me ... I hope that I never see her again!
Florida

Depression & Lost Children

Guilt seems to naturally result from hurting people. Pleasure may seem senseless if you have hurt or killed a child - or a potential child. Following an abortion, unresolved guilt may depress your life. Some common signs of guilty depression are:

  • Avoid tracking finances
  • Avoid completing tasks
  • Ignore personal hygiene
  • Creating problems
  • Consider self-harm
  • Ignore important problems

As we help people manage guilt and depression, we meet people who believe that they deserve to suffer and who avoid relief. They may sabotage their opportunities for happiness. When we explore why they deserve to suffer, we often find that their guilt concerns abuse to other people. (We find that many mental health issues appear to be acts of self-sabotage related to guilt!)

Depression . Anxiety . Stress . Suicide

Relationship Health & our Systemic Coaching

We help people solve relationship problems. We find that aborted children are important relationships, although many people try to forget about their abortions. We find that parents and their surviving children often carry an emotional baggage of guilt, and they suffer relationship consequences.

You should not write about such things. You make people feel even worse that we already feel. People don't want to know this stuff. They just want to forget about it. Ohio

Our post-abortion coaching helps parents regain intimacy following an abortion, and avoid separation or divorce, especially when a loss of intimacy follows a decision to abort a child. (A miscarriage or stillbirth caused by stress or violence often has similar emotional and relationship consequences to an abortion.)

Ultimatum: "Either lose the baby or lose me"

A woman may have an abortion following an ultimatum that either she end her pregnancy or her partner leaves. If a man insists that his child be killed, despite his partner's desire for a baby; this couple may never regain their intimacy ... even if they stay together ... unless they manage their guilt, anxiety and anger.

We integrate our post-abortion coaching with marriage counseling and couple coaching, and we help couples rebuild intimacy and commitment after losing a child.

Missing Children

Siblings of an aborted child may be troubled by nightmares. They may have disturbing dreams of being chased by monsters or ghosts, or that someone wants to kill them. They may also have phantom friends or treat pets like siblings. Such children may be overwhelmed with grief if such a pet dies.

My 6 year old daughter had recurring nightmares for years ... being chased by a bad man
with a knife who wants to cut her up ... yes, I had an abortion ... why do you ask?

Within a month of our sessions, my daughter now sleeps peacefully.

Our pre-marital coaching and couple coaching may include post-abortion counseling to help resolve previous abortions and miscarriages (by their mothers) - especially if a couple is having difficulty conceiving a child.

Abortion & Birth Order

Following an abortion, many people describe (feel or experience) a dark shape or black hole in or near their bodies. Other children may also sense this "hole", and be affected by it, perhaps with nightmares of being trapped, or of being hunted.

Following a secret abortion, other family members may sense that something is wrong. This feeling of wrongness often seems to be experienced by children in subsequent generations! A potential child was killed at the parents’ request.

Aborted children can be born again ... a guru told me that I reincarnated after I was aborted by my parents ... I told my parents that I AM their dead (aborted) child ...
so they do not need to grieve me!
Austria

If a child identifies with an aborted child, he or she may grow up melancholic and highly sensitive. (This includes "psychic" sensitivity - many psychics boast about their dead “spirit helpers”). Such children may be fascinated by death, cemeteries and horror movies, etc, yet not be  afraid of death. See: Dead Person Identification

Failed Abortions

Occasionally, I meet people whose parents tried to abort them, but failed. As children they often had nightmares of being chased by monsters, and seemed to grow up distrusting their parents. They may also have phobias of hospitals, clinics etc.

I coached four people with phobias of old women in Poland (where abortion was illegal) and the original significant emotional events appeared to be illegal abortions that failed to kill the fetus. (I don't recall ever being presented with this phobia in the West).

I had two abortions. I should have had three, but I left it too late and
the doctors wouldn't do it ... I love my daughter even though she is
always miserable and angry. Can you help her?
Oregon

Consequences to Abortionists

The abortionists I have met seemed dissociated (unable to feel many emotions) and less able to enjoy relationships or even happiness. They seemed to seek distractions more than meaningful lives; resulting in obsessions, addictions and divorces.

Your writing about abortion is pure nonsense. Abortion is not murder anymore
than liposuction, and the proper term is 'abortion doctor,' not 'abortionist'.

Doctors appear to have the highest professional suicide rate ...
what else in medicine lacks sense and meaning?

As a doctor I have advised many women to have abortions ... and I have seen most of
the consequences that you describe ... I'm not so sure now that my advice was good.
I will do some research. Thanks.
Texas

Since you started reading this page, about two thousand more abortions have just been made. Most of those little bodies are now in garbage containers and some are being processed or harvested. Many of these deaths will have consequences that the parents, families and abortionists are not prepared for.

Contact us to resolve your emotions or relationship problems
following abortions, miscarriages or cot deaths.

Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers, 2000-2017 All rights reserved.


If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention www.SystemicPsychology.com or www.EmotionsRelationships.com

For online help, email us at: europecoach@gmail.com

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii

 

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Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland

 

 

Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2017 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email europecoach@gmail.com