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CAUTION This is written for students of Soulwork Systemic Coaching.
If your sense of life can be replaced by guilt, shame and suffering, then
abortion is a spiritual issue. If
you feel strong emotions as you read this - please STOP.
Spiritual Consequences of Abortion
The abortion business offers high incomes for those people who can do it. Whether or not
abortion is murder is a legal issue. Mental and emotional consequences of abortion
include are described
here.
This article focuses on spiritual consequences
of abortion. (This information is also relevant to other situations where children die young
- including accidents, miscarriage, still-birth or crib deaths.)
In any abortion, the key people are
the mother, the father, the aborted child and the abortionist. However
the families of these people, and their colleagues and
communities, are also affected. Also the places where abortions are made seem to
carry a residual "charge" that can affect sensitive people.
Ignored problems rarely go away and often get worse. Is it an advantage for a
person to not know why he or she is suffering, depressed or addicted? Many
people avoid considering these consequences.
The financial, medical and social benefits of abortions may be obvious, while
damaged relationships, guilt, depression and addictions are
not. Sometimes an abortion "makes financial or medical sense" - for example if a
pregnancy endangers a mother's life, or is the result of a rape, or the parents
do not want a child. Spiritual consequences are about
"What makes sense of life?".
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After my second abortion, I
was severely depressed ... I was almost suicidal. MW, Manitoba, Canada |
Primary Consequences
The primary spiritual consequences of abortion are the
effects on "sense of life" - a depressed ability to feel joyously
connected to families, to partners, to friends, to communities, to humanity and to God. If our sense of life can be replaced by guilt, shame and
suffering, then abortion is a deeply spiritual issue.
These painful issues can be resolved.
The consequences of abortion discussed here can be recognized and dissolved by Soulwork
Systemic Coaching (which integrates post-abortion counseling, marriage
counseling and systemic family
therapy). Although Relationship Coaching has many facets, those most relevant to
the spiritual consequences of
abortion may be to resolve guilt, clarify relationships and
regain sense of life.Guilt, Shame & Clarification
Guilt depresses life. Being joyous may not make sense if
you have hurt or killed someone. Soulwork recognizes and resolves seven types
of guilt issues result from having hurt or betrayed people.
Whether or not a fetus has a legal status as a human being - most people
recognize a fetus as a potential child.
When we help people evaluate significant relationships, many are surprised
to find that an aborted child is a significant family member. An aborted fetus
is often described as a center of a family, or as a block between the parents.
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You
asked if my mother had an abortion between my elder brother and me. I was
CERTAIN that my mother would have told me about any abortions. When I asked
her - she was shocked. She said that she had - but that not even my father
knew about it ... how did YOU know? KB Warsaw, Poland |
Abortion & Intimacy
Arranging an induced abortion may decrease intimacy between life partners,
and sometimes separation or divorce may follow even an attempted abortion,
although a couple may not recognize their estrangement and separation as a
direct consequence of the abortion.
In extreme cases, a woman may arrange an abortion unwillingly, following an
ultimatum from her partner, that either she arranges an abortion or he leaves. In
our experience, it is unlikely that this couple can remain in
an intimate partnership. This often marks the end of the intimate partnership.
If a woman has an abortion despite the father's desire for the child to be born,
the consequences may also include the end
of romantic intimacy, although the couple may stay together for other reasons.
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Although I was very
happy to be pregnant, my husband wanted me to have an abortion. He
threatened to leave me if I didn't. I had an
abortion, but after that, I felt like a dead fish when we made love. It
was two horrible years before we divorced. DO, London |
Ghosts of Dead Children
Many people have described being haunted by the ghosts
or spirits of dead children. The
spirit is often seen as a dark shape close to (often directly in front
or directly behind) the person, that may seem to cause depression and prevent
long-term happiness. This occurs for both men and women.
As many religions forbid abortion, parents arranging an abortion may also feel
a diminished relationship with their community, with their God and with life. To our
initial surprise, this diminished sense of life seems to be equally true for
agnostics and atheists.
The birth order of children is important and becomes apparent
during Soulwork. Family members often perceive an abortion as either a
"spirit" or as a "hole" in the family. Subsequent children
may "feel" this, and be strongly affected by it. If seen as a spirit,
a child may consider it an "imaginary" friend.
Compensating for Death?
Following an abortion, the first pregnancy
of the next born sibling will often be spontaneously or deliberately aborted,
and/or the first-born child be melancholy throughout life (dead person
identification). Often the siblings of an aborted child, particularly
the next-born, will say that they searched for the missing sibling.
Children who create imaginary friends often follow an abortion.
Many people described such a search. They searched for
a missing someone who would "make things right"! Some adults
will find and marry a person with these
imagined qualities. In this way, a missing family
member is returned to the family - by proxy.
Hidden emotions are eventually expressed, and one family member may express the
hidden emotions of another. Even following a “secret” abortion, other family
members may “feel” that something is not right, that something is missing. This
feeling of “not-rightness” may be experienced by family members of subsequent
generations! A potential child is dead - at the parents request.
Dead Person Identification
Sometimes a later child “identifies” with the missing child, and
may grow up melancholic in all parts of life - and highly sensitive to other
people. (This includes psychic sensitivity. Many psychic and healers boast about
dead “spirit helpers”). The child is often fascinated by death, but without any
fear of death.
Occasionally, we meet a person whose parents tried to abort him or her, and
failed. Such a child usually seems to grow up fearful and distrustful of one or
both parents. We have plenty of evidence that a fetus not only "knows" and
remembers what happened, but also that the fetus can "feel" and respond to the
relationships in the family. Systemic coaching can help people with these
symptoms.Consequences to Abortionist
People who profit from abortion may become increasingly dissociated (unable to
feel ANY emotions) and may become generally callous towards human
life. This is reflected by a lowered ability to enjoy intimate relationships, to
have spiritual experiences or to find long-term happiness.
The doctors and staff of abortion clinics may carry a higher risk of
addictions and obsessions than do medical professionals who protect and nurture
human life.
The family of an abortionist and staff of abortion clinics may
search for distractions instead of happiness, resulting in addictions, obsessions
and compulsions. Children of the
staff of abortion clinics may experience depression, learning disabilities and
chronic psychosomatic disease as they compensate for their parents' actions.
Spirituality & Abortion
Reality has a spiritual dimension, which, when it flows
into human existence, can transform whatever it touches. Much of spirituality is about acquiring
virtues that support long-term happiness. But we often develop our virtues under unfavorable conditions. If we
experience danger, we can develop courage, and if we experience
lack, we can develop generosity.If we experience
guilt we can develop purity. If we
experience depression,
we can develop compassion. Soulwork systemic coaching uses this "motivation to atone" to
help people define and create
meaningful life visions or missions or life-projects, the fulfillment of which can dissolve our guilt, transform
our depression and increase our sense of life.
Consult your physician about any opinions or recommendations
about abortion, other medical symptoms or other medical questions.
Relationship Coaching ...
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© Martyn Carruthers, 1998, 2006 All rights reserved
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