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Recognize and Defeat Manipulation
Much advertising is designed by professionals trained
in psychology and skilled in manipulation. They want your money, your vote
or your compliance. Religions and politicians want you to comply with
some message. Some common methods of influencing you are:
| Reciprocity |
Likeability |
Scarcity |
| Consistency |
Authority |
Social Proof |
Let's look at ways to protect yourself against manipulation and
abuse.
Verbal Aikido .
Client Abuse by Therapists . Abuse by Trainers
Manipulation & Reciprocity
A salesman compliments you and gives you a CD. You
want to repay what was given to you and you waste
half hour watching an infomercial. In your desire to be fair, you may:
- ignore other factors in your decisions
- forget to decide whom you wish to owe
- give your power to other people
- repay a small favor with a much larger favor
After a salesman shows you a luxury car - you may be
pleased to buy a regular model. Many compliance games start with an offer for you to
reject, followed by a lesser offer. You are more likely to accept the
second offer. If you refuse to buy a
luxury item, you are more likely to buy a lesser product. A defense against reciprocity
is to accept initial favors, but be ready to redefine them
as tricks or games. Then you can fairly reject manipulation.
Manipulation & Consistency
You probably want your words, attitudes and deeds to
be consistent and congruent. Your consistency reduces your need to reprocess
information, and offers shortcuts through complex decisions.
If you are invited to take a position (e.g. a loyal
member of an association) that benefits someone else, you may make subsequent decisions that do not support your values, your goals
or your life.
To resist consistency, you can feel signals from your stomach and your heart. Stomach signals often indicate
that you feel pushed to agree to something that you don't want.
Heart signals may indicate that you are uncertain if your commitment was
a mistake. You can ask yourself, "Knowing what I now know, if I could do that
again, would I make the same commitment?"
Manipulation & Social Proof
Before making a decision, you may check what other
people believe. An organization may inform you that other people (the
more - the better, and the more famous the better) have purchased their
products or use their services. This may weaken you to do what you would
otherwise avoid.
Social proof can most influence you when:
- you are uncertain (you are more likely to accept
others' actions as correct)
- people like you do something (you are more likely
to follow people like you)
You can test the evidence of what others are doing and
recognize that the actions of other people, even people like you, should not form the sole
basis for your decisions.
Manipulation & Likeability
You want to agree with people you like. You
want to credit people you like with talent, kindness and intelligence.
Organizations, politicians and other salespeople can use this to change your attitude. Remember that salespeople are
selected or trained to be
likeable.
- physically attractive
- people who appear to have similar values to you
- praise and compliments
- familiarity through repeated contacts
- contact in pleasant circumstances
- association with desired things
Upon recognizing that you like a salesperson too
well, you can mentally separate the person from the
product, and make a decision based on the quality and desirability of the
product.
Manipulation & Assumed Authority
If you comply with authorities mindlessly - you may
respond to symbols of authority rather than to reality. Three
authority symbols are particularly effective
in Western countries - you may reward people with any one of these
(and no other evidence of authority) with your compliance:
- Titles
- Clothes
- Automobiles
You can defend yourself against assumed authority by
asking:
- Is this person competent?
- What proof of expertise is available?
- What happens if I ignore this?
Manipulation & Scarcity
Do you comply with limited spaces and deadline
tactics? A message is more powerful if you perceive it as exclusive or
special. If a limited service seems more valuable
- you may respond by buying it.
Do you want the goods or services - even if they are
really scarce? Or the items may be readily available elsewhere ... many
marketers and salespeople are skilled at distorting truth.
Summary
These are many ways by which people may
try to manipulate you. Sensitivity to these will help you notice other
ways. Once you observe these methods, your attention reduces their
effects on you. A quick barrier is simply to congratulate
abusers on their skill in using compliance techniques.
Consult your physician about any opinions
about your medical symptoms or other medical questions.
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