Training & Telephone Coaching for Managers & Leaders  Case Histories

Team Abuse, Interrogation & Elicitation

Abuse at Work: Sales, Kidnapping & Interviews

Are you entangled in difficult relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer from old trauma? Do you suffer from your director's dramas, your colleague's demands, your boss's moods? Systemic Solutions can help you untangle your life ... and you can help other people reclaim their freedom.

Abusers always have Excuses

Inquisition priests would torture you for the good of your soul. Sales people are trained to covertly help you buy. Employers may bully you to increase productivity. Interviewers may pry into your life for the benefit of an organization. Abusers always have excuses.

Relationship abuse is about dominance and control - with emotional displays, threats, lies, broken promises and humiliation. Many abusers are emotionally immature. Many abusive adults experienced emotional incest and remain entangled with their parents. And they may try to entangle you.

Abusers hurt millions of people, but few are reported due to shame or lack of legal knowledge. Soulwork systemic coaching can help you end the abuse and heal the consequences.

Dealing with Abuse

Our systemic solutions can help you remain emotional mature, responsible and flexible.

• Can you manage (not just dissociate) your own strong emotions?
• When are you responsible for another person's actions?
• Can you be alert and flexible under stress?

Abusive relationships range from parental criticism and school-teacher sarcasm to interrogation and kidnapping. The consequences of abusive relationships can include psychosis, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression and anxiety.

Many cults and cult-like organizations (some training organizations, businesses, multi-level marketing (MLM) companies, military & paramilitary groups) abuse their members. Many people are unable to leave abusive organizations because of the effectiveness of psychological coercion.

Training Abuse . Exit from Cults . Sexual Abuse

Some trainers abuse their students. Some health professionals abuse their patients. They may prescribe expensive programs that they would not use themselves. Or abuse may indicate sadism, incompetence, immaturity, identity loss or codependence ... a need to dominate.

Abuse by Therapists . Mentor Damage

Abusers want to intimidate and manipulate. Domestic, employee and sales abusers want to benefit personally. Interrogation, interview and elicitation specialists want information to use against you.

Domestic Abuse & Child Abuse

Domestic abuse inflicts or is intended to inflict physical or emotional harm to a relative. Physical violence or threats may accompany hurtful communication. You may feel afraid, angry, confused and dependent. Soulwork coaching can help you maintain integrity and make healthy decisions.

Many domestic and child abusers share common characteristics. They are often addicts and they may have mental health problems. They are often easily frustrated and moody - and they may not feel guilt about hurting you. Systemic coaching can help them, too.

Addictions . Child Sexual Abuse . Parent Coaching . Children of Divorce

Employee Abuse

Managers who take their entanglements to work may abuse their staff. If managers see their employees as sub-human - or as substitutes for parents, partners or children, the managers may abuse their workers - and later refer to their employee abuse as effective management.

Abused employees rarely understand office politics or systemic power. Abusive managers are often incompetent, yet want status, recognition and power. Soulwork coaching can coach managers to use management skills instead of intimidation, and can help employees deal with difficult managers.

Managing Difficult Employees . Downsizing . Verbal Aikido

Abusive Partnerships

Some people are shocked if a partnership turns abusive, while others start a partnership expecting it to become abusive. The latter are usually emotionally entangled with an abusive family member, and are trying to rescue another abuser. Much abuse starts with good intentions.

Couple Coaching . Predictable Partnership

Sales Abuse & Violation of Privacy

Some salespeople are trained in deception, intimidation and hypnotic language. They try to build trust, prolong negotiation and wear down resistance until you buy something you don't want. Some abusive sellers are trained in NLP or hypnosis.

Some sales people learn elicitation techniques, to covertly learn from you things that you may not want to share. Elicitation allows passive-aggressive people to read your mind without your permission.

To gain rapport (compliance), they may mirror your posture, paraphrase what you say and mimic your way of talking. They want you to trust them. They want to invade your privacy without your consent.

You can prevent or stop abusive sales techniques - some simple ideas are:

• Ask friends to be present when you want to make a substantial purchase
• Discuss the details of a contract with a trusted relative, friend or advisor first
• If you feel stressed, leave - or make the salesperson leave
• You don't have to be nice to abusive people ... maybe scream

Detecting Deceit

If asked personal questions, you may deny, minimize and rationalize your actions. You didn't do it, well, only once, long ago, because everybody else was. People trained in elicitation expect you to lie.

1. Control questions - they want you to lie - they watch how you lie
2. Irrelevant questions - they watch how you tell the truth
3. Relevant questions - they watch how you answer

Elicitation is used to violate your privacy. The more you want to avoid certain topics, the more obvious it is that those topics are sensitive. We can coach you to defeat elicitation.

Kidnapping & Interrogation

The goal of interviews, interrogation and elicitation is to obtain information. The primary goal of interrogation is to intimidate you, and cause you to feel like a lost child. Your capture, detention and questioning may be to soften you for rapid exploitation by an interrogator.

Although the United Nations Convention against Torture prohibits the use of physical or mental pain to obtain information; kidnappers may disconnect you from your family, friends and society, and use your sexuality, family and religion against you.

Kidnappers may replace your sense of identity with a confused sense of doom. They may besiege you with illogical statements. As you try to make sense of unpleasant nonsense, you may say anything to end the confusion. Without preparation, you may age-regress; and behave like a distressed child.

Interrogation tactics range from mind games to torture. Most interrogators are paid to get information, although some enjoy experimenting with torture, sexual humiliation, hypnosis or psychotropic drugs.

Psychological Operations . Trauma & PTSD

Kidnapping & Sensory Deprivation

A kidnapping may be planned for maximum shock - perhaps in the early morning. You are expected to experience deep distress. If you are put in solitary confinement, expect unpleasant hallucinations.

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Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2009 All rights reserved. These Systemic Solutions were primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers. We coach and train people to succeed by solving emotional and relationship problems. This information is for your general knowledge only. Please consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing any medical treatment. Link to our pages, but get Martyn's written permission to post or publish his work.