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Are you entangled in difficult
relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer from old trauma?
Do you suffer from your parents' drama, your partner's demands, your
boss's moods? Soulwork Systemic Solutions can help you untangle
your life ... and you can help other people reclaim their freedom.
Abusers always have Excuses
Inquisition priests would torture you for the good
of your soul. Sales people are trained to covertly help you buy. Employers may bully you to
increase productivity. Interviewers may pry into your life for the benefit of
an organization. Abusers always have excuses.
Relationship abuse is about dominance and
control - with emotional displays, threats, lies, broken promises and
humiliation. Many abusers are emotionally immature. Many abusive adults experienced
emotional incest and are entangled with their parents. And they may
try to entangle you.
Abusers hurt millions of people, but few are
reported due to shame or lack of legal knowledge. Soulwork systemic coaching can help you
end the abuse and heal the consequences.
Dealing with Abuse
Systemic coaching helps you remain
emotional mature,
responsible and flexible.
Can you manage (not just
dissociate) your own strong emotions? When are you responsible
for another person's actions? Can you be alert and flexible under
stress?
Abusive relationships range from parental criticism
and school-teacher sarcasm to interrogation and
kidnapping. The consequences of abusive relationships can include
psychosis, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD),
depression and anxiety.
Many cults and
cult-like organizations (some training organizations,
businesses, multi-level marketing (MLM) companies, military
& paramilitary groups) abuse their members. Many people are unable to leave abusive
organizations because of the effectiveness of psychological coercion.
[
Training Abuse ] [ Exit
from Cults ] [
Sexual Abuse ]
Some trainers abuse their students. Some health professionals abuse their
patients. They may prescribe expensive programs that they would not use themselves. Or abuse may indicate sadism,
incompetence, immaturity,
identity loss or codependence ... a need to
dominate.
[ Abuse by Therapists ] [ Mentor Damage
]
Abusers want to intimidate and manipulate. Domestic, employee and sales
abusers want to benefit personally.
Interrogation, interview and elicitation specialists
want information to use against you.
Domestic Abuse & Child Abuse
Domestic abuse inflicts or is intended
to inflict physical or emotional harm to a relative. Physical violence
or threats may accompany hurtful communication. You
may feel afraid, angry, confused
and dependent. Soulwork coaching can help you maintain
integrity and make healthy decisions.
Many domestic and child abusers share common characteristics. They
are often addicts and they may have mental health problems. They are
often easily frustrated and moody - and they may not feel guilt about hurting you.
Systemic coaching
can help them, too.
[
Addictions
] [ Child Sexual Abuse ] [
Parent Coaching
] [ Children of Divorce ]
Employee Abuse
Managers who take their entanglements to work
may abuse their staff. If managers
see their employees as sub-human - or as substitutes for parents,
partners or children, the managers may abuse
their workers - and later refer to their employee
abuse as effective management.
Abused employees rarely understand office politics
or
systemic power. Abusive managers are often incompetent, yet want status, recognition and power. Soulwork coaching can
coach managers to use management skills instead of intimidation,
and can help employees deal with difficult managers.
[
Managing Difficult
Employees ] [
Downsizing ] [
Verbal Aikido ]
Abusive Partnerships
Some people are shocked if
a partnership turns abusive, while others start a partnership
expecting it to become abusive. The latter are usually emotionally entangled
with an abusive family member, and are trying to rescue another abuser.
Much abuse starts with good intentions.
[ Couple
Coaching ] [ Predictable
Partnership ]
Sales Abuse & Violation of Privacy
Some salespeople are trained in
deception, intimidation and hypnotic language. They try to build
trust, prolong negotiation and
wear down resistance until you buy something you don't want. Some
abusive sellers are trained in NLP or
hypnosis.
Some sales people learn elicitation techniques, to covertly
learn from you things that you may not want to share.
Elicitation allows passive-aggressive people to read your mind without your
permission.
To gain rapport (compliance), they may
mirror your posture, paraphrase what you say and mimic your way of talking.
They want you to trust them. They want to invade your privacy without your
consent.
You can prevent or stop abusive sales techniques - some
simple ideas are:
-
Ask friends to be
present when you want to make a substantial purchase
Discuss the details of a
contract with a trusted relative, friend or advisor first If you feel stressed,
leave - or make the salesperson leave You don't have to be nice to abusive
people ... maybe scream
Detecting Deceit
If asked personal questions, you may deny, minimize
and rationalize your actions. You didn't do it, well, only
once, long ago, because everybody else was. People trained in
elicitation expect you to lie.
- Control questions
- they want you to lie - they watch how you lie
- Irrelevant questions - they watch how
you tell the truth
- Relevant questions - they watch how
you answer
Elicitation is used to violate your privacy. The more you
want to avoid certain topics, the more obvious it is that those topics are
sensitive. We can coach you to defeat elicitation.
Kidnapping & Interrogation
The goal of
interviews, interrogation
and elicitation is to obtain information. The
primary goal of interrogation is to intimidate you, and cause you to
feel like a lost child. Your capture,
detention and questioning may be to soften you for rapid
exploitation by an interrogator.
Although the United Nations Convention against
Torture prohibits the use of physical or mental pain to obtain
information; kidnappers may disconnect you from your family,
friends and society, and use your sexuality, family and religion against
you.
Kidnappers may replace your sense of identity with a
confused sense of doom. They may besiege you with illogical statements.
As you try to make sense of unpleasant nonsense, you may say anything to
end the confusion. Without preparation, you may age-regress; and behave like
a distressed child.
Interrogation tactics range from mind
games to torture. Most interrogators are paid to get information, although
some enjoy experimenting with torture, sexual humiliation, hypnosis or
psychotropic drugs.
[
Psychological Operations ] [
Trauma & PTSD ]
Kidnapping & Sensory Deprivation
A kidnapping may be planned for maximum shock -
perhaps in the early morning. You are expected to experience deep distress. If
you are put in solitary confinement, expect unpleasant hallucinations.
|
Common Interrogation Techniques |
- You may be strip searched
and your possessions taken
- You may be isolated,
perhaps for days, perhaps without sleep
- You may have no clean food, clean
water, toilet or bedding
- You may be repeatedly asked irrelevant questions
- You may be promised leniency if you
confess now
- You may be imprisoned with an informant
- You may be threatened with physical
abuse or torture
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