Do you use drugs as a substitute for change?
Alcohol, nicotine, anti-depressants and stimulants seem easier
applying intelligence and analytical skills to your relationships.
Consequences of Crisis, Trauma & PTSD
Have you experienced or witnessed an event that involved
injury, abuse or serious loss? Did you suffer a serious accident or a
life-threatening disease? Do you since experience anxiety, or helplessness,
or perhaps horror? Do you feel disturbed when something reminds you of that
event? Do you avoid anything that reminds you of it?
Crisis, Trauma and Abuse - Our Definitions
In our work, a crisis refers
to an event in which a person has not yet
re-gained emotional stability,
although time may have passed.
In our work, a trauma
refers to an event that caused a person to fragment their personality,
typically as a way to avoid overwhelming emotions that could not be rationalized.
Following trauma, these split-off personalities (parts) are typically
In our work, abuse
refers to trauma that, in the opinion of the victim, was deliberately
caused with an intent to create suffering.
Did you cut off or hide some parts of yourself? Do you feel depressed following a
traumatic event or series of events? Do you feel detached or fragmented or
dissociated? Do you have panic or anxiety attacks? Can you concentrate - or does
your attention wander? Do you feel exhausted, yet you cannot sleep properly? Do
you suffer from negative emotions or recurring nightmares? We can help you.
Military Intelligence: Between Iraq and a Hard Place
Mental health problems
are part of warfare. A survey of 1000 US troops returning from the
Middle East and Iraq in 2005 found that 30% had anxiety, depression,
nightmares, irrational anger and an
inability to concentrate. A 2004 survey of combat troops in Iraq
combat zones showed that about 13% experienced significant
mental-health problems. Stress-related problems are often worse for
National Guard members who try to return to civilian life after
Unresolved trauma, from a stressful event or series of events,
can cause flashbacks and nightmares. You may feel emotionally numb
or you may hurt people with your explosive emotions and mood swings.
You may be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
We help people heal the emotional and relationship consequences of
trauma. Do you want us to help you help yourself? We
can show you effective ways to manage the consequences of abuse and trauma.
To accelerate their return to health, we often help people manage
emotional conflicts and relationship issues that existed BEFORE
their traumatic events.
. Anger Management
Forgotten, Taboo & Repressed Memories
You may have symptoms associated with trauma, but not remember
a trauma. You may have strong negative emotions but only remember minor
incidents. You may have forgotten that you forgot some of your memories. Perhaps
you were young or perhaps your trauma involved important people. We can help you
safely remember traumatic events, and resolve abusive memories.
A common effect of trauma is identity loss,
in which you may feel you have lost part of yourself, perhaps your sense
of integrity or your sense of life. Identity loss seems to have four main
varieties - we call them identification, identity conflict, lost identity
bonds. Such split off parts are often associated
with emotions and beliefs that could not be rationalized nor assimilated during
If you were abused, or if you participated in or witnessed
something that you could not integrate, then you may have one or more "split
off" parts. These split-off parts usually motivate childish emotions and behavior. We can help you
pull yourself together.
Consequences of Stress, Trauma & Abuse
If you experienced stress, trauma or abuse, yet do not
manage it, you are less likely to stay employed or married, and you are
more likely to feel depressed, aggressive or violent. You may suffer
lowered well-being and self-esteem - and you may only relate to people
who suffered similar stress or trauma.
Common Symptoms following Stress,
Trauma & Abuse
- apathy / lethargy
- chronic pain
- depression / guilt
- digestive problems
- mood swings
- panic attacks
- risky relationships
- sleep disorders
- substance abuse
- volatile emotions
If you have split off part of yourself during stress,
abuse or trauma, you may feel and act like a wounded child whenever something reminds
you of those events. We can help you nurture and
integrate parts of you that are stuck in compulsions and obsessions.
The consequences of abuse can include a sense of childish helplessness
or an inability to make decisions or to act. Other consequences include shame, guilt, self-blame; a
sense of being dirty or defiled; or a sense of being different to
others (which may include feeling special or rejected).
Your relatives, especially children, may try to carry your burden.
They may interpret a decreased sense of life and mood swings as
victim or unable to love. Helpless parents may motivate
their children to protect them as if the parents were hurt children.
(We often see this sad behavior repeated across many generations).
Resolving Stress, Abuse & Trauma
Many helping professionals try to manage the symptoms of abuse and trauma with medication. But if the underlying identity loss is not
restored, then the symptoms will return, often in other forms, perhaps
precipitating long term depression or dysfunction.
I was a soldier during Croatia's war with Serbia.
My unit was in a village attacked by the Yugoslav army. I saw people
being butchered ... and I ran. I found a shell hole in a field and I stayed
in it for three days. Part of me died in that hole. Since then I could not
concentrate and I could feel shocked to tears by sudden loud noises.
During our sessions, I found the younger me who I thought had died in that
hole. Now I can concentrate better than I could for years.
If you have suffered severe stress, abuse or trauma, you may try
to distract yourself with alcohol, drugs, sex or food. We can help
you regain your values and live with integrity. Drugs and obsessions
can evaporate as you rebuild your identity. Recover your self-respect
- as you learn to live and love again.
. Sexual Issues . Review by
a Medical Doctor
Going APE: Assimilate Problematic Experiences
The APES model (William B Stiles, 1990) describes
easily recognizable stages of change as people assimilate problematic emotions,
experiences or inner conflicts. We help people accelerate through
these stages ...
Assimilating Problematic Experiences (APE)
Dissociated: A person is unaware of a problem; unpleasant
and feelings are silent or rapidly silenced.
Avoidance: A person avoids thinking about an experience.
Thoughts and feelings can be unpleasant but are scattered, diffuse, unfocused
Emergence: A person cannot describe the problem clearly
but is aware
of emotional suffering or panic associated with an
Clarification: A person can recognize potential
solutions and can
manage their negative emotions and inner conflicts without panic.
Understanding: A person can describe the experience
with some unpleasant feelings and with some pleasant surprises.
Application: A person can set goals to solve problems.
The person becomes more optimistic in this context.
Resourceful: A person uses problematic
experiences as life resources
for solving problems. The person feels generally optimistic and satisfied.
Integration: A person generalizes solutions.
The unpleasant experience
can be used as a resource
for resolving other situations and problems.
Do you want to recover lost or hidden parts of yourself?
Online Help: Coaching, Counseling & Therapy
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
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Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004-2017 All rights reserved.