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Interview with Martyn
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Help for Actors, Comedians and Performers
Solve Stage Problems Martyn Carruthers 2002

Online Help: Coaching, Counseling & Therapy

Do you use drugs as a substitute for change?
Self-medication with alcohol, nicotine or with anti-depressants
and stimulants seem easier than changing relationship issues,
but drugs have short-term results and unpleasant side-effects.

Enter Stage Right

If you are a professional actor, singer or comedian, you are probably unique and brilliant. And you may have unique and brilliant relationship problems: anxiety, depression, fear, self esteem, loneliness and financial issues. Like many performing artists, you probably have to cope with a rapidly changing life.

"They say that my smile is as bright as ever. Can't they see the pain in my eyes?"

Many professional actors, singers, dancers and comedians live complex lives. Life on the road or even at the studio is rarely easy. You are faced with constant change, often living away from home and having to please directors, producers and audiences. This all adds stress and uncertainty.

Enter Stage Fright

Most entertainers are experts at identifying with roles and expressing emotions appropriate to those roles. But this can lead to deep-seated confusion. If you over-identify with a character type - you may feel unable to reclaim your own identity when the curtains close. Do you ever get lost in your roles?

We can help you resolve emotional and relationship issues.

Within many successful performers are creative, playful children; dressing up in their parents' clothes. Your performance represents your creativity and your playfulness - and those same qualities can sabotage your relationships and your career.

Although a stage or TV set can be stressful, you can control your stress and its consequences. Acting can be hard work, and its demands can suck you dry. How well do you know your limits?

  1. Can you say "No"?
  2. Can you stop criticizing yourself?
  3. Can you make time for your own happiness?
  4. Can you balance preparedness and stage fright?
  5. Can you create and maintain stable relationships?
  6. Can you handle the uncertainties of a performing career?
  7. Can you deal with going on location, touring and starting new shows?

False Identities

Understanding identification can help actors a lot. We use identification as a useful model of consciousness. People who can temporarily identify with other people can more easily express and enter other models of reality.

Temporary identifications help actors adapt to different roles. Lasting identifications can cause long-term confusion and distress.

Many actors can easily see and feel other people's points of view - but they may lose track of or forget their own points of view. They may lose access to their own identities. Many people behave as if they have temporary identity loss (e.g. "I don't know what came over me").

You probably learned many life skills by identifying with your same-sex parent. Identifying with another person is how a person (usually as a child) tries to makes sense of life; and how actors adopt other personalities.

Identified adults may feel normal, just and right, even when behaving in ways that other people consider abnormal, unjust and wrong. Yet identity issues follow systemic rules, and most can be resolved with our systemic coaching.

Some common identity issues are:

  • Chronic conflict often follows parents fighting each other
  • Chronic anger and rage often follow identification with a "victim"
  • Chronic fear and anxiety attacks often follow identification with a "hero"
  • Chronic sadness and melancholy often follow identification with a dead person

The symptoms are not difficult to perceive. People with chronic conflict may be unable to peacefully make decisions - or quickly change their minds and criticize themselves. And people who constantly criticize themselves tend to be very critical of others.

People who have identified with victims are generally angry, suspicious and judgmental; people who have identified with dead people are generally melancholic and may be obsessed with death; and people who have identified with heroes are generally anxious and may avoid change.

Such identified people often describe an inner experience of being right in a wrong world. Although dissociation and identification may be essential acting skills, getting lost in identifications can lead to chronic dissociation, depression or anxiety.

Happy Families

You are part of a matrix of relationships that spans countless generations. You may have dedicated much of your life to repeating injustices or resolving deficiencies that you perceived in your family. You may experience the consequences of the behavior of other family members as bonds, fixations and limiting beliefs.

Are you attempting to carry the emotional baggage of your family? Are you trying to complete the unfinished business of your ancestors? You might die trying.

Contact us to manage your emotions, limiting beliefs and self-sabotage. We can help you sort out relationship problems and affairs. If your children have problems, maybe read Learning Disabilities, Children of Divorce and Parent Alienation.

Systemic Solutions

If you are a performing artist, you can benefit from our life coaching and relationship counseling about role identification, and on coming back to yourself after the show. We can help you improve your roles ... and your life.

As most actors and stage professionals are in touch with their feelings, our online help may be perfect for you. We can help you, no matter where you are, and help you solve some of your problems with your emotions, career and relationships.

Enrich your joy of performing. Did you think that you had lost it?

Online Help: Coaching, Counseling & Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2002-2018 All rights reserved

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention or

For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email