We help motivated adults rebuild
relationships and end
after betrayal, adultery and affairs.
Signs of Affairs
. Confronting a Partner
Are you in a happy partnership or are you in recovery?
- Are you and your partner pleased with each other?
- Did you and your partner recently argue or separate?
- Are you or your partner recovering from a romantic affair?
- Are you or your partner cold
or distant towards each other?
- Did your partner say that he or she will never trust
Can you have a happy partnership after an affair?
You can be happier than you thought
possible! You can heal your broken heart.
We help people heal the damage of affairs, abandonment and betrayal.
Has your partnership become lifeless and boring? Are you suffering after a
romance or an affair? Do you want to feel happy - but you just feel tired? Your
healing will depend on your attitude, beliefs and
Affairs can be opportunities to learn about
yourself and other people. We can help you evaluate your life and your relationships, and help you
change unhealthy habits and beliefs. Or perhaps you really want to relive your past again
- and again?
Healing a Partnership - Building Trust & Recovering Love
Healing doesn't just happen! You need support and information and you probably
won't heal soon by yourself. We can walk with you and help
you change old
habits and unhealthy beliefs.
After sex we were still
strangers and not lovers. I didn't want to feel any closer.
Our sex was sterile and afterwards I just wanted to leave.
Intimate or sexual affairs between people
(especially between people in committed relationships) reflect suppressed or unmet
needs. A first step to recovery is relationship diagnosis - does a person:
- express overwhelming emotions (trauma)
- identify with someone else (identification)
- obsess about other people (entanglements)
- express no values or sense of self (lost
- express ongoing mood swings (complex
- express toxic "I am ..." beliefs
- express guilt from previous relationships
- avoid communicating own values and needs
(poor self image)
- follow toxic role models or post-hypnotic suggestions
deception and betrayal with complaints, blame and excuses (victim)
How we can help
We usually evaluate your situation and explore
what you want. We can help you manage your emotions, find resources
and develop strategies to do what is best for you and for the
people who love you. We can help you:
- Talk about your concerns.
- Create a future worth living.
- Purposefully design your life.
- Rehearse exactly what you want to say.
- Don't keep going over mistakes and regrets.
- Accept and manage painful emotions quickly.
- Learn to like yourself better. (This can feel
- Be more confident and bold. Find a coach who supports you.
- Keep moving ahead. You don't have to go back
to how you were.
- Learn better ways of evaluating an affair
and better strategies to manage it.
Have you been acting like a addict? Addictive drugs give
people such strong feelings that they may betray their partners and abandon
their families. Did an affair give you wonderful feelings? Can you
start again? Is it
time to repair your partnership, rebuild your integrity and re-align your life -
or to separate? Don't
If you are having an affair, inform your lover that you are going to end the affair.
Be simple about it. You probably have to send a last message but avoid meeting
your lover, as he or she may seduce you for one last sexual encounter
- hoping to hook you again.
End your betrayal as soon as possible. There
is no right time to do this - there's just you. No last meetings. Cancel and close your affair. Recommit to your
partner. Ask your affair partner not contact you for any reason.
If your partner
knows about it - show your partner that you have
ended the affair. If your partner did not know - avoid burdening your partner in
an attempt to reduce your guilt.
Healing your Partnership after an Affair
Romantic affairs have emotional consequences, which may be delayed.
- Blame: Following exposure, the partners may
uselessly waste time and energy arguing about topics such as "Who really
- Denial: Many people who have sexual affairs
will lie if telling the truth may bring unpleasant consequences.
- Grief: The suffering of betrayal and broken dreams may overwhelm
betrayed people. Suicide
attempts sometimes follow romantic affairs.
- Guilt: The betraying partner, the betrayed partner
and the affair partner carry burdens of guilt - bonds which can manifest as
Following a partnership crisis, it may seem impossible for
the partners to avoid guilt, depression and immature behavior. We help people make
space for this and we can referee desperately needed discussions and
clarification. We offer:
- Education in effective communication skills
- Individual counseling to manage entanglements and
- Couple counseling (with both partners) to manage transferences
- Couple coaching (with both partners) to make decisions and
plan the future
Romantic affairs, especially those based on transferences, rarely
last more than two years.
Solutions that attempt to fix and forget the surface symptoms of
affairs may not resolve or even expose your deeper entanglements. Do you want to heal
relationship damage - or do you just want to try to forget it?
Romantic or sexual affairs are often attempts to compensate for what
is missing in a partnership. Sometimes, simply exposing the affair can lead to depression, explosive separation, hostile divorce and damaged
We help couples repair and
maintain healthy partnerships - or to peacefully end unhappy
partnerships as a basis for new lives apart.
Most romantic affairs last less than two years,
and may be accompanied by or followed by regret, guilt and depression. Short-term
fix and forget solutions do not resolve underlying emotions and
enmeshments - we help people heal their emotional entanglements as we help them solve relationship problems.
Effective and joyous partnership result when partners
respect each other's values, know each other's needs and can cooperate to
fulfill both their needs. We help couples develop healthy partnership skills
that enable them to end and deal with affairs.
Signs of Affairs
. Confronting a Partner
Do you want to resolve emotional problems and enjoy better
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