Are you striving to achieve goals, such as
success, happiness or wellbeing,
while clinging to beliefs
which prevent or delay your success.
Such beliefs are often begin with 'I must ...',
'I should ...', or ''I have to ...";
and usually conflict with your values, wishes and goals.
What are Beliefs?
You color your perception of the world with your attitudes, opinions and beliefs. Your beliefs will affect your behavior,
yet your beliefs will rarely be facts.
Facts can be tested and checked while beliefs are often unverifiable.
You inspire or betray yourself with your beliefs. In our systemic
work, we are not so concerned with the factual truth of your beliefs; we
are more interested in whether your beliefs delay you or inspire you to achieve your
Are your limiting beliefs based on
your own experience (e.g. "I believe that I cannot walk on water"),
are they accepted from some authority (e.g. "I believe that this
planet was created by ...") or do your beliefs reflect your cultural or
ancestral traditions ("To be accepted by this community, I must believe
beliefs seem to be consequences of injustice - of crisis,
trauma or abuse. While there are many ways you can temporarily forget limiting
beliefs, long-term change seems to require the resolution of unpleasant
emotions from past events. We refer to beliefs that restrict your development,
freedom and progress as 'limiting beliefs'.
Beliefs are your assumptions or opinions - statements associated
with feelings of conviction. Henry Ford once said, “If you think
you can … or if you think you can’t … you’re right!” Your
motivation reflects what you believe to be true.
Your beliefs may be unconscious. Some clues
that deep limiting beliefs might hold you back are how you
may sabotage your own success! If you suddenly lose motivation -
especially if following a fairly predictable cycle of motivation
and loss of energy - you may be on a try-cycle.
Some people cling to limiting and toxic
beliefs. For example, people who believe that suffering is holy ...
will often resist resolving or ending their suffering ... they may prefer to
feel holy ... and they may use their suffering for leverage in relationships
that require a victim.
Jeśli Bóg nie chce abym cierpiał -
to by temu zaprzestał. Bóg chce abym był czysty kobieta. Nie
będę zażywał leków na mój ból ... moja córka dba o mnie.Warszawa,
(If God does not want me to
suffer - He would end it. God wants me to be a pure woman.
I won't take drugs for my pain ... my daughter takes care of me ...
Remember an important goal. Then, consider,
“I am a good manager”, “I have good negotiating skills”, or
“I can achieve that!”. Please say those statements aloud.
Does it feel wrong to say them aloud? Did you think
something like, “Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not that good”? Your
hidden beliefs will make themselves known in your feelings! If you
tell yourself that you cannot do something, then you may never do it.
Next, explore where you feel those feelings in your body, and
when they originated in your life. We find that limiting beliefs
based on experience are simpler to change than limiting beliefs
accepted from your culture, your parents or other authorities.
Examples of Limiting Beliefs
- I am helpless - if you believe that you are
too weak, then your attempts to achieve your goal may fail -
because you expect failure.
- I am defenseless - if you believe that success
is only possible subject to luck, you may attribute your success
to spirits, gods or astrology.
- I am worthless - if you believe that you do
not deserve this goal, you may avoid or even sabotage your own success.
- I am hopeless - if you believe that
nothing you attempt can be effective, you may avoid trying.
- I am useless - if you believe that you cannot
learn or that you cannot apply your learning your goals, you may
How to Change Limiting Beliefs
We coach people to change their limiting beliefs. We find
that limiting beliefs are often bonds to important
people - ideas you had to believe or suffer punishment or
When this occurs, you may reject counter-examples and contradictory
evidence in favor of what feels true. Hence long-term change of
your limiting beliefs often requires that you change those relationships
in which your limiting beliefs originated.
Do you want to change your limiting beliefs? Here's a start ...
- Write down your limiting beliefs - and the consequences
of clinging to them
- What will happen if you ignore beliefs that limit your
energy and confidence?
- Review the experiences in which you created or accepted
- a.) Why does your goal seem unattainable?
b.) What skills do you need to attain your goal?
c.) Who can coach or mentor you?
d.) Do you feel that you deserve to achieve your goal?
- When you believe that you cannot fulfill a goal; maybe try,
and assess your results. Which limiting beliefs are triggered, and
why you believe them?
- Whose limiting beliefs are you carrying?
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