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Solutions for Fixations & Unwanted Beliefs
Change Limiting Beliefs Martyn Carruthers

Online Help: Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

Are you limited by your beliefs? Do you sabotage yourself?
Do you want to change toxic ideas or negative fixations?

Do You have Toxic, Limiting or Negative Beliefs?

Did you accept the beliefs of your parents or mentors as THE truth? While, their beliefs are your heritage, your legacy and perhaps an entrance fee for your life; their beliefs may also be part of your emotional baggage. However, some beliefs can have unpleasant consequences. Do you have any beliefs like these?

  •  Tomorrow! ... I can put it off ...
  •  I should ... I need to ... I have to ...
  •  I might fail ... People will think that ...
  •  I can't! ... I am unlucky ... I am helpless ...

Soulwork includes the work of Phineas Quimby, an American mental healer who,
over 100 years ago, was credited with healing thousands of people by changing their beliefs.
Quimby wrote that education and religion were primary causes of destructive beliefs
that manifested as physical diseases. I would add ... in first place ... parents. Martyn

In our changework, beliefs refer to feelings of certainty about verbal statements - feelings that support or constrain behavior. Examples of supportive beliefs are:

  1. My life is important
  2. I can accomplish my goals
  3. My life has meaning and purpose
  4. I can enjoy being with family and friends

Another root of our work is from the huna healing still used used by some native Hawaiians.
Kahuna Daddy Bray referred to black bags of emotions and beliefs held in the body,
which could be healed through
ho'oponopono (a traditional family therapy).

Common examples of limiting beliefs include:

  1. I cannot leave a bad relationship
  2. I am isolated, lost, lonely or disconnected
  3. I feel negative emotions which do not make sense
  4. I cannot find a sense of life, or a meaningful life purpose
  5. I am stuck to people or to places that I want to leave or avoid

As a temporary fix, if you think or say sentences like these, first OBSERVE what you are doing, and CHANGE THE WORDS to something more supportive. Notice your internal resistance to this and the feelings that come up.

We help people change obsessions
and compulsions into ordinary temptations!

We help people change limiting beliefs, even taboo beliefs. (Taboo implies that people may not allow themselves to recognize their beliefs.) We coach people to explore and change the beliefs which underlie self-sabotage, obsessions and compulsions.

Many Beliefs are Bonds

What do you HAVE to believe to remain in your job? What MUST you believe to stay in your marriage? What SHOULD you believe to be a good citizen? What are you REQUIRED to believe to participate in a religion?

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) occurs when a parents installs
unpleasant or toxic beliefs about the other parent in the mind of a child.

Many times we hear, "I want to be healthy, but not at the expense of changing my beliefs about ... xxx", where xxx is often a religious dogma or life philosophy or family tradition. Some beliefs seem to be more important than health ... and some seem beliefs seem to be more important than life.

I want to be healthy - but not if it means changing my beliefs,
changing my philosophy or changing my lifestyle.

Heard from many clients ... Martyn

The shared experiences and beliefs that bond family members seem to be some of the strongest relationship bonds that humans can experience. While we may need strong family bonds to function in a society of families, many people appear to be bonded by unpleasant or toxic beliefs.

Some organizations require members to develop rigid beliefs that bond them to some political party, military organization, network marketing, religious cult or a sporting team. Irrational beliefs support compliance and manipulation.

The strongest beliefs seem to be based on a shared sense of identity. Some beliefs seem to be substitutes for identity - and hence a form of identity loss. We find that dysfunctional behavior is often based on toxic beliefs that support feelings of connection and identity to dysfunctional people.

My name is BOND ...

Psychological obsessions can be conscious or unconscious. People are aware of conscious beliefs - and people are normally not aware of unconscious (taboo) beliefs that may influence your perception of yourself and your relationships.

Many people manage the consequences of abuse and trauma by creating
unpleasant limiting beliefs about themselves or about the world generally!

Relational bonds encourage you to cling to beliefs, obsessions and compulsions. People often describe the more conscious relationship bonds as colored tubes or ropes or shadows between themselves and others. This synesthesia provides information about the nature of the bonds.

Many marketing programs are developed by psychologists who
want to install beliefs, obsessions and compulsions in you!
Don't let them succeed! Flush them out!

Taboo relationship beliefs are often localized in the body - in organs or muscles - and seem to be associated with symptoms and diseases that may be called psychosomatic. Dissociated relationship beliefs (we call them bonds) may also be perceived near the body - people spontaneously describe them as blocks, walls or dark clouds etc.

There is a dark wall / barrier / space / hole between me and my partner.
Heard many, many times during couple coaching

Relationship beliefs can determine what feels true or right. People bonded by beliefs to ineffective or dysfunctional people may behave strangely during times of stress (work or family problems, etc), when their symptoms prevent normal functioning. Many people cannot live happy lives until they change their bonds and beliefs. They may be habitual liars - to themselves and others.

Some Signs of Toxic, Limiting & Negative Beliefs

  • cannot define specific goals
  • cannot describe thoughts clearly
  • irrational beliefs about other people
  • psychosomatic symptoms
  • endless abstract complaints
  • impulsive - poor impulse control

Many people are damaged during relationships with well-meaning parents, teachers, mentors and therapists. The consequences of this damage often include fixed limiting beliefs, obsessions, compulsions and psychosomatic symptoms that compensate for injustice or betrayal.

Contact us to change limiting beliefs, to solve relationship problems;
and to gain lasting relief from negative emotions.

Online Help: Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2005-2018

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention or

For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email