Are you limited by your beliefs?
Do you sabotage yourself?
Do you want to change toxic ideas or negative fixations?
Do You have Toxic, Limiting or
Did you accept the beliefs of your parents or mentors as THE
truth? While, their beliefs are your heritage, your legacy and perhaps an entrance fee
for your life; their beliefs may also be part of your
emotional baggage. However, some beliefs can
have unpleasant consequences. Do you have any
beliefs like these?
... I can put it off ...
- I should ... I need to ...
I have to ...
- I might fail ... People
will think that ...
- I can't! ... I am unlucky ...
I am helpless ...
includes the work of Phineas Quimby, an American mental healer who,
over 100 years ago, was credited with healing thousands of people
by changing their beliefs.
Quimby wrote that education and religion were primary causes
of destructive beliefs
that manifested as physical diseases. I would add ...
in first place ... parents. Martyn
In our changework, beliefs refer to
feelings of certainty about verbal statements - feelings that
support or constrain behavior. Examples of supportive beliefs are:
- My life is important
- I can accomplish my goals
- My life has meaning and purpose
- I can enjoy being with family and friends
Another root of our work is from the
still used used by some
Kahuna Daddy Bray referred to black bags of
and beliefs held in the body,
which could be healed
(a traditional family therapy).
Common examples of limiting beliefs include:
- I cannot leave a bad relationship
- I am isolated, lost, lonely or disconnected
- I feel negative emotions which do not make
- I cannot find a sense of life, or a
meaningful life purpose
- I am stuck to people or to places that I want
to leave or avoid
As a temporary fix, if you think or say sentences like these, first OBSERVE
what you are doing, and CHANGE THE WORDS to something more supportive. Notice
your internal resistance to this and the feelings that come up.
We help people
and compulsions into ordinary temptations!
We help people change limiting beliefs,
even taboo beliefs. (Taboo implies that people may not
allow themselves to recognize their beliefs.) We coach
people to explore and change the beliefs which
obsessions and compulsions.
Many Beliefs are Bonds
What do you HAVE to believe to remain in your job? What MUST you
believe to stay in your marriage? What SHOULD you believe to be a good citizen?
What are you REQUIRED to believe to participate in a religion?
Syndrome (PAS) occurs when a parents installs
unpleasant or toxic beliefs about the
other parent in the mind of a child.
Many times we hear, "I want to be
healthy, but not at the expense of changing my beliefs about ... xxx",
where xxx is often a religious dogma or life philosophy or family
tradition. Some beliefs seem to be more important than health ... and some
seem beliefs seem to be more important than life.
I want to be healthy - but not
if it means changing my beliefs,
changing my philosophy or changing my lifestyle.
Heard from many clients ... Martyn
The shared experiences and beliefs that
bond family members seem to be some of the strongest relationship bonds
that humans can experience. While we may need strong family bonds to
function in a society of families, many people appear to be bonded by
unpleasant or toxic beliefs.
Some organizations require members to
develop rigid beliefs that bond them to some political party, military
organization, network marketing, religious cult or a sporting team.
Irrational beliefs support compliance and manipulation.
The strongest beliefs seem to be based on
a shared sense of identity. Some beliefs seem to be substitutes
for identity - and hence a form of identity loss. We find that
dysfunctional behavior is often based on toxic beliefs that support
feelings of connection and identity to dysfunctional people.
My name is BOND ...
Psychological obsessions can be conscious or
unconscious. People are aware of conscious beliefs - and people are normally
not aware of unconscious (taboo) beliefs that may influence your
perception of yourself and your relationships.
Many people manage the consequences
of abuse and trauma by creating
unpleasant limiting beliefs about themselves
or about the world generally!
Relational bonds encourage you to cling to beliefs,
obsessions and compulsions. People often describe the more conscious
relationship bonds as colored tubes or ropes or shadows between
themselves and others. This synesthesia provides information about
the nature of the bonds.
Many marketing programs are developed
by psychologists who
want to install beliefs, obsessions and compulsions
Don't let them succeed! Flush them out!
Taboo relationship beliefs are often localized in the
body - in organs or muscles - and seem to be associated with symptoms and
diseases that may be called psychosomatic. Dissociated relationship
beliefs (we call them bonds) may also be perceived near the
body - people spontaneously describe them as blocks, walls
or dark clouds etc.
There is a dark wall / barrier /
space / hole between me and my partner.
Heard many, many times during couple coaching
Relationship beliefs can determine what feels
true or right. People bonded by beliefs to ineffective or dysfunctional
people may behave strangely during times of stress (work or family problems,
etc), when their symptoms prevent normal functioning. Many people cannot
live happy lives until they change their bonds and beliefs. They may be
habitual liars - to themselves and others.
Some Signs of Toxic, Limiting &
- cannot define specific goals
- cannot describe thoughts clearly
- irrational beliefs about other people
- psychosomatic symptoms
- endless abstract complaints
- impulsive - poor impulse control
Many people are damaged during relationships with
therapists. The consequences of this
damage often include fixed limiting beliefs, obsessions,
compulsions and psychosomatic symptoms
that compensate for injustice or betrayal.
Contact us to change
limiting beliefs, to solve relationship problems;
and to gain lasting relief from negative emotions.
Online Help: Counseling &
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright ©
Martyn Carruthers 2005-2018