Many health professionals offer drugs as
substitutes for managing emotions and relationships. Drugs are easier than
applying intelligence, focus and analytical skills. Drugs are cheaper for
patients (in the short term) and much more profitable for health professionals.
If you prefer drugs, talk to your MD.
Managing emotions is particularly important for people who
normally hide their emotions - people who are dissociated (they prefer to think
rather than to feel) and people who perpetually distract themselves
from their feelings.
You have more control over your emotions that you
might imagine… and you can emancipate yourself if you choose.
Anxieties and fear has at least two sides ... the illusion of
increased protection (the more I worry about it the less likely
it will happen) and the reality of increased risk.
Some common fears include:
- Fear of death – are you anxious that you will not
survive ... do you fear the experience of death? Such fears may
cause you to avoid any risks to prolong your survival ...
or may cause you to freeze or panic in dangerous places ...
can motivate you to enjoy life to the fullest!
- Fear of emptiness – are you anxious that your life is empty ...
pointless without meaning or purpose? A lack of meaning may cause you to waste
your life chasing distractions ... or it can motivate you to find a
- Fear for your family – are you anxious that people
who are important to you will be hurt or killed? Fearing the
suffering or loss of family members may cause you to damage your
relationships with childish behavior ... or it can motivate you
to value and enjoy your important relationships.
Anxiety, Entanglement & Identification
Do you worry constantly, even when nothing seems wrong?
Anxiety is more than worrying. If you can't relax; if you always expect
the worst, you may suffer from chronic anxiety. And if you feel anxiety,
you may also feel depressed about feeling afraid. It's not your fault ...
and we may be able to help you.
If you worry a lot, people may call you irritable or
grouchy. Your muscles may feel tense and sore, especially in your upper back,
shoulders and neck. You may feel constantly tired or even exhausted.
It may be hard for you to concentrate, to relax or to sleep. If you
do not even know what you are worried about - your fear and even your
life may not seem to make sense.
Anxiety may originate in childhood, perhaps as a
way of bonding to an anxious parent, but it more often starts
during the stresses of the teenage years. Some anxiety problems
may be due to food allergies and food sensitivities;
although in our experience, most fears
represent enmeshments and
relationship fixations. Although women seem to
suffer from anxiety more than men, it is common enough in men - especially men
who are emotionally entangled with an immature or clinging mother.
Does chronic anxiety seems to run in your family?
Do one or two people in each generation suffer in this way? Anxiety may
indicate a cross-generational entanglement, if someone in each generation
is entangled with someone in the previous generation ... like a toxic family
I always had good ideas, but I
couldn't make money with them ... I was too scared that bad things
would happen. During our meetings I realized that I was reliving
my grandmother's fears. She often
worried about unknown problems.
After our sessions I realized that 90% of
my old fears were gone.
Chronic anxiety is often associated with family
disturbances. Do you have a family history of abuse, violence or
Chronic anxiety may be a result of identifying
with an ancestor who could not show fear. A primary symptom is
anxiety - often fear of change. We offer you powerful
ways to end this form of identity loss, this chronic display of fear.
(A paradox is - if you are afraid of change, you may be afraid of
and Compulsions . Trauma & PTSD
Do you feel anxious about your health?
Do you interpret body sensations as evidence of
serious disease (hypochondria)? Do you invent medical symptoms to
avoid work, to qualify for disability payments or to evade military
service (malingering)? Do you lie about your health
(sometimes called Munchausen's) to manipulate people?
Few medical professionals seem to recognize
health anxiety. They may accuse you of exaggerating -
or they may call you a hypochondriac, a malingerer
or a liar.
Do you invent medical symptoms to get what
you want? Do you enjoy deceiving medical professionals? Health
anxiety is also associated with post-traumatic stress and eating
disorders, and is common amongst people who feel neglected or
who want more control.
. Psychosomatic Symptoms
Hypochondria: Worried Sick?
Hypochondria means persistent irrational
fear that you have, or will have, a serious medical condition.
You may believe that you have a serious disease and that your doctor
is not working hard enough. (And drug companies may encourage you to spend a disproportionate amount of money.)
You may feel dizziness, swelling, palpitations or pain.
If you distrust medical professionals, you may disregard their advice and
interpret normal signs (like headache, dizziness, fatigue etc) as dangerous.
Psychosomatic symptoms often seem to be associated with relationship issues such
loneliness, depression, guilt or a preoccupation with death.
If you believe that your body is defective or
deformed - you may be labeled as having Body Dismorphic Disorder.
Endless reassurance or even plastic surgery are unlikely to ease your
unpleasant feelings about your body.
Most hypochondriac people will
never go to a psychiatrist. They'll say, 'I don't want to talk
about this, I want another biopsy, I want that CAT scan repeated.'
Dr Arthur Barsky (Harvard Medical School).
Phobias & Social Anxiety
Phobias may be called irrational obsessions and
compulsions. We find that many phobias are examples of one-shot
accelerated learning! Something happens that a person cannot forget.
We can help most people dissolve phobias quickly.
You may be labeled with social phobia
(social anxiety) if you dislike being judged, criticized or evaluated.
You may be told that your fear is irrational; yet your anxiety persists. (This
is often related to being criticized as a child.)
If you have social phobia
you find it difficult to be with people ("What are they thinking
about me; maybe they don't like me"). You may attract attention to
yourself or even try to be a center of attention ("If they're going to
talk about me, I'll give them something to talk about!").
GAD - Generalized Anxiety
Are you constantly worried or afraid? Do you even
worry in your dreams? You may have muscle pains and headaches;
you may feel constantly tired and yet you cannot seem to relax.
Muscle tension may cause you to sweat a lot,
even at night. You may even feel that you might vomit.
If you have generalized anxiety you may
find it difficult to leave your home. (Something terrible might
happen). You may be afraid of losing it in public.
You may feel insecure in all parts of your life and you may
even be diagnosed as having agoraphobia.
Systemic Solutions for Anxiety
Anxiety often follows family relationship problems,
such as a divorce or premature death. Or if a family member takes
risks, for the benefit of the family, and is ignored, another
family member may identify with that perceived hero - and
express the fear that the perceived hero could not express.
A woman who was extremely anxious and
afraid of change told me that
when she was a child, her older sister had
supported the family by prostitution,
but her (religious) family told
people that a rich relative was sending them money.
This woman was fearful
of any change, but she didn't know why. Anxiety drugs, she said,
only made her more afraid of doctors. I helped her replace her
chronic anxiety with peaceful motivation. When we met by
chance two years later, she was still
motivated ... also happy and successful. Martyn
We help people change disturbing
thoughts, manage emotions and get what they want. We coach people
to change emotions and limiting beliefs in situations about which
they feel anxious or fearful. We help people
respond to life appropriately.
Please consult a physician
if you have any medical conditions.
We help people to improve
relationships and manage
their emotions as drug-free steps towards achieving their goals.
Online Life Coaching & Counseling for Fear and Anxiety
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
I'm very glad that we met. London
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Martyn Carruthers 2002-2018
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