Do you use drugs as a substitute for change?
Self-medication with alcohol or nicotine, or with anti-depressants
stimulants are easier than solving relationship issues.
Drugs are cheaper for patients (in the short term) and
much more profitable for health professionals.
What is Fatigue?
Fatigue refers to a sensation of tiredness, weariness,
exhaustion, weakness, or low energy. Fatigue is a symptom of many diseases,
disorders and conditions. It can result from infection, inflammation,
trauma, malignancy, diseases or
Are you often fatigued? Is it short-term, such as after a hard day or a
sleepless night, or is it chronic and persistent? Fatigue is a symptom of many conditions, and some of
them are potentially serious. A medical evaluation is needed to ensure
an accurate diagnosis of the fatigue.
We strongly recommend that people with symptoms of
persistent fatigue consult their physicians to check for treatable illnesses,
such as sleep disorders, depression, alcohol/substance abuse, diabetes,
hypothyroidism, mononucleosis (mono), lupus, multiple sclerosis, hepatitis and
malignancies. Also, some medications have side effects that mimic
symptoms of chronic fatigue.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) refers to long-term
persistent or frequent fatigue. The definition of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
by the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention requires that
two criteria be fulfilled (Wikipedia, 2010):
- A new onset (not lifelong) of unexplained, persistent
fatigue unrelated to exertion and not substantially relieved by rest, that
causes a significant reduction in previous activity levels.
- Four or more of the following symptoms that last
six months or longer:
* Unrefreshing sleep
* Muscle pain (myalgia)
* Pain in multiple joints (arthralgia)
* Impaired memory or concentration
* Tender lymph nodes (cervical or axillary)
* Headaches of a new kind or greater severity
* Post-exertion malaise, with "extreme, prolonged exhaustion
How is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) treated?
Currently (2001), the cause of chronic fatigue syndrome
remains unknown. Chronic fatigue is medically diagnosed by excluding known illnesses
with similar symptoms. This method of diagnosis cannot confirm that a person
has CFS and not some other fatigue-causing disorder, such as
depression, anxiety or
At this time (2002) there is no acknowledged cure for CFS,
and its symptoms vary. Over time some people become worse, some experience
partial improvement and others recover completely. When we noticed that some
symptoms of lasting tiredness vanish during our relationship coaching, of course we wondered why.
We find that symptoms that are no longer needed,
symptoms that cease to serve a function, may disappear, providing that irreplaceable body
tissues have not deteriorated or been damaged. We also suggest that a
subjective need for symptoms may be based on distorted memories,
beliefs and illusions.
From a systemic perspective, the symptoms associated with
chronic or persistent fatigue may make sense if a person is living a
life that lacks sense, or if the symptoms provide benefits (e.g. getting
attention or maintaining disability payments).
Possible Solutions for Symptoms of Chronic Fatigue
We help people explore the benefits
of persistent or chronic fatigue. Does fatigue help you avoid a hated job? Does
fatigue hold a family
together? Does fatigue seem to balance the high energy of a very active
partner? Explore the advantages of fatigue.
chronic fatigue syndrome for twelve years and was told that it was
incurable. I heard about Martyn's work from a good friend, and flew to
meet Martyn for private coaching.
Within a month or so, many of my
CFS symptoms seemed to evaporate, and I planned to return to my
career as an international trainer. But after three months
I was on the edge of divorce. My regained high energy was not
so wonderful for my older, retired husband. After a crisis, my
husband and I found ways in which I could be energetic
and he could be retired and we could
stay married. Italy
We help people discover if
or identity loss require chronic fatigue.
Do any family members suffer from chronic fatigue? Is there survival guilt
following the death of a family member or close friend? Does chronic
fatigue enable an important relationship (like a marriage) to continue?
Chronic Fatigue & Identity Loss
We coach people to explore what they truly
want and create plans to fulfill those goals. We help people explore which
relationships need attention, using a strategy that reflects how
many healthy people deal with life challenges.
Many people have lost access to
parts of themselves ... fragments of self that may have been dissociated
during some crisis or relationship disappointment ... but never re-associated.
They often emerge as inner conflict (e.g. part of me wants that but
part of me doesn't).
Simple identity loss can
lead to unexpected or illogical behaviors, while complex identity loss can
have existential effects. For us, Identification refers to the
long-term expression of another personality (think of medieval ideas of
spirit possession), Lost Identity refers to chronic dissociated
behavior (think of classic ideas of nervous breakdown), and
Identity Conflict refers to long-term bipolar mood swings (think
of classic ideas of split personality).
- Identification - I am identified
with somebody or something
- Identity Conflict - My personality
changes between two "sides"
- Lost Identity - I have little sense of self,
and few or no emotions
- Relationship Bonds - I must stay in this
relationship at all costs
We have solutions for these issues.
Chronic Fatigue & Relationship Bonds
Relationship bonds (sometimes called limiting identity beliefs or even personality disorders)
refer to stable limiting beliefs or fixed ideas. Unpleasant relationship
bonds appear to compensate for injustice or abuse.
Such bonds seem to allow children to survive
relationship trauma. Children who perceive that a family
member is stupid or dangerous, may create or accept limiting beliefs about
themselves that allows those important relationships to continue.
Do you cling to limiting beliefs? Willpower, cognitive understanding and
logical arguments are unlikely to change bonded emotions and beliefs,
although they may help you change some behaviors for a short time.
Please consult a physician about any medical conditions.
Life Coaching, Systemic Counseling & Soulwork Therapy
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
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© Martyn Carruthers 2001-2017 All rights reserved