We help people end codependence and solve relationship problems.
Do you constantly complain?
Do you try to control people?
Do you avoid asserting yourself?
Do you try to make people give you things?
Codependence is about self-destruction and self-sabotage.
Do you repeat behaviors that bring unpleasant or painful consequences?
The consequences of codependence includes an inability to make mature decisions.
Is Codependence about You?
Codependence is a tendency
to behave in overly passive or caretaking ways that impact one's relationships
and quality of life. It often involves putting one's needs at a low priority
while being preoccupied with the needs of others. Codependency can occur in any
type of relationship ... Codependency may be characterized
by denial, low self-esteem, compliance, and/or control. Wikipedia
Codependence is about addictive relationships. In psychology literature,
the most commonly described codependent relationships are between addicts
and rescuers ... yet the most common codependence seems to be
between partners, and between parents and their own children. Beware of
codependent helping professionals.
Codependence is normal in some countries and codependent
behavior seems to be linked depression,
anxiety and hypochondria. Evaluate the television
romances that you grew up with, and the lyrics of your favorite love songs.
If you are
healthy and independent, you may be called selfish, arrogant
and uncaring ... by people who
prefer parasitic, symbiotic or codependent relationships.
Who are you hiding from?
Mature people in healthy relationships deal with conflicts openly
and quickly. Immature people often hide conflicts until they emotionally
explode over some detail. We coach individuals, couples,
families and teams to build secure and intimate relationships.
Some people seem to disconnect from others. They
have few or no friends, and often suffer unpleasant relationships with family
members or work colleagues. For such disconnected people, codependence
may be a step towards health - a step away from isolation - sometimes a step away from
Codependency is like an an addiction ... in a codependent
relationship, you cannot be yourself. You must hide your
identity and goals. To do this, you would likely have deep beliefs
about being unworthy or not good enough. Dependent people were
often trained to
believe that real love requires denial, suffering and
Surprisingly, codependence may follow an abortion
or the death of a twin during pregnancy.
The death of an unborn sibling or womb-twin often may (unconsciously) impact the
lives of surviving children, who, seeking perfect
Soul Mates, suffer chains of
Many sects and cults attract dependent people. Our
exit coaching can help motivated adults
leave cult-like organizations and live a life based on independence
and emotional freedom. We help some people set their spirits free.
Some codependent people forget who they are, and focus on
what other people want. Although codependence is a terrible quality
for a helping professional, codependent people seem to seek, recognize and
attract codependent professionals.
Codependent helping professionals are unlikely to support healthy
independence, and may sabotage healthier relationships. Codependent
counselors or therapists may feel obsessed to help victims ... and their clients finance their obsessions.
goodbye to my therapist after four years of therapy ...
she helped me do so many
little things that I came to depend on her.
She was so nice ... I paid her over $1000 per month to be my Mom.
Are you a helping professional?
Do you behave in codependent ways towards your
patients and clients? Do you delay your clients' recovery by your dependence
on their sickness? Or can you do your work without sympathy or enmeshment?
Choose a coach, counselor or therapist who is grounded in his
or her own
healthy reality; someone with mature compassion instead of sympathy.
Healthy relationships are the best healing agents.
Even though you may long for peace and happiness - do you
- Do you forget what you want?
- Do you seek people to look after you?
- Do you have difficulty saying what you want?
- Do you judge your own goals as unimportant?
- Do you avoid stating your goals, needs or wishes?
- Do you value other people's wishes over your own?
Your ability to define and achieve goals reflects your sense of
life. We can coach you to mature and live with independent integrity.
Denial & Feelings
- Do you hide your feelings?
- Do you avoid expressing your feelings?
- Do you minimize, distort or deny how you feel?
We can help you feel your own feelings and manage your own emotions.
Some communication trainers define hypnosis as "uncritical
acceptance of suggestion". What percentage of your life are you
following suggestions? Have you guarded the the doors of your perception? Are you
following post-hypnotic commands?
- Can you state your own opinions?
- Are you loyal to people who hurt or harm you?
- Do you participate in sex when you don't want to?
- Do you dedicate your life to
other people's pleasure?
Psychosomatic disease is common amongst people who cannot communicate their personal truth. Instead, their bodies communicate for them -
sometimes in unpleasant ways. What does your body communicate through symptoms?
It seems to be right and natural that adults protect
their children, and control their children's behavior until the children
are independent adults. It seems appropriate that employers control their
employees behavior at work. But for codependents,
there may be no borders, no context ... and no exit.
- Do you act as if most people
need your care?
- Are you angry if people ignore your good advice?
- Do you offer food or withhold sex to get what you
- Do you tell people what they should think or how they should feel?
Contact us to manage your emotions and solve relationship
Online Life Coaching & Counseling for Codependence
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002-2018
All rights reserved.