TRAINING  &  COACHING  for  MANAGERS & LEADERS

Case Histories

Solutions for Codependence

Relationship Coaching

We present interactive seminars and demonstration-rich workshops on systemic family therapy, codependence, family secrets and relationship entanglements. Email us if you might be interested in a workshop.

Are you Codependent?

Codependence is about self-destruction. Codependence is about thoughts, feelings and behavior that cause suffering. Do you repeat behaviors that bring unpleasant, painful, or unwanted consequences? Do you do things that you don't enjoy for other people? If so, codependence is about you.

Codependent symptoms usually indicate cross-generational relationship entanglements. Two common forms are mother-son codependence and father-daughter codependence. The results are people who are only attracted to immature partners - people who will sabotage their own partnerships by fixating on an even less mature partners - their own children. (Beware of codependent therapists).

Are you in a destructive relationship? Do you sabotage healthy relationships? Do you try to hide yourself? Codependent behavior is linked to serious diseases such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression and stress. Codependence is also related to anxiety and hypochondria.

Codependence is so common in some Western countries that it may seem normal. Evaluate television and love music. Codependence is almost normal in some countries. If you are healthy, untangled and independent, you are likely to be called selfish, arrogant and uncaring by entangled people.

Codependent Relationships

People in healthy relationships deal with conflicts openly and easily. Immature people often hide conflicts until "explosions" occur. Soulwork systemic coaching for individuals, couples and families allows individuals, couples and families to grow in relationships with security and intimacy.

If you are in a codependent relationship, you cannot be yourself. You may forget who you are and what you want. You are likely bonded with deep beliefs about "not being good enough" or "unworthy", and that you can express "love" only by denial, sacrifice and servitude.

Many cults, sects and extremist organizations are based on codependence and hence are attractive to codependent people. Soulwork exit coaching can help you leave such organizations and live a life based on independence and freedom. Soulwork sets your spirit free.

[ Entanglements ] [ Exit Coaching ] [ When Coaching Fails ]

Professional Codependence

A codependent person cannot be present in a relationship with you. He or she forgets who he or she is, and focuses only on what you want. These are very poor qualities for a coach, healer or therapist.

A codependent coach, healer, trainer or therapist is unlikely to support your healthy independence, and may sabotage it! A codependent counselor or therapist may delay your recovery to continue his or her need to help you ... and you are supposed to finance this.

Some professional "people helpers" (coaches, therapists, psychologists etc) behave in codependent ways towards their patients and clients.

Avoid starting more codependent relationships! Choose a coach or therapist who is grounded in his or her own healthy reality; someone who is without sympathy yet with developed empathy. "Healthy relationships are the best healing agents".

Self Evaluation

Even though you may long for yet peace and happiness - do you always seem to mess it up? Instead, evaluate yourself and provide ways to end your toxic behavior:

• Do you have difficulty saying what you want?
• Do you avoid stating your goals, needs or wishes?
• Do you judge your own goals as unimportant?
• Do you value other people's wishes over your own?

A Soulwork coach can help you discover what you want, and how you want to achieve it. Defining and achieving goals reflects your sense of life. Systemic coaching helps you live with integrity - the core of who you are.

Denial & Procrastination

Are you a Cleopatra? Cleopatra was a queen of de Nile.

• Do you avoid identifying or labeling your feelings?
• Do you minimize, distort or deny how you feel?
• Do you "hide" your feelings about your childhood?
• Do you avoid your feelings or avoid expressing your feelings?

A Soulwork coach may reach you through gentle provocation. If you consider the consequences of not changing ... you may enjoy the challenge of changing.

Compliance

Some trainers of hypnosis and NLP define hypnosis as "uncritical acceptance of suggestion". If so, what percentage of your life are you in trance? Your eyes are open and you can walk and shop - but have you guarded the the doors of your perception?

• Are you dedicated to other people's happiness?
• Are you loyal to people who hurt or harm you?
• Can you state your own opinions?
• Do you participate in sex when you don't want to?

Psychosomatic disease is are common in people who do not communicate their personal truth. Instead, their bodies communicate for them - sometimes in unpleasant ways.

Control

It seems to be right and natural that adults control their children's behavior, and that employers give instructions to their employees. And then there are codependents.

• Do you believe that most people need your care?
• Do you tell people what they "should" think and how they "should" feel?
• Do you offer endless advice?
• Do you offer or withhold sex to get what you want?

Responsibility

Responsibility can be a "bad word" for children and immature adults - and a prison for codependents. If you take responsibility for people who are neither your children nor your employees, you are likely to suffer in predictable ways.

We can help you resolve codependent behavior and create a life that makes sense.

Relationship Coaching ... Systemic Coach Training

Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? We can train you to coach individuals, partners and teams to resolve emotional, educational and relationship challenges.