We offer affordable coaching for self-sabotage, learning disabilities,
dissolving therapist abuse and other relationship problems.
Ending Relationship Enmeshments
Relationship habits can cause suffering and disrupt families.
As a child, you probably learned to express you parents' emotions and as an
may be striving to fulfill your parents' goals. We can help you manage your emotions and solve relationship problems,
entanglements and bonds.
We can help you free yourself of emotional enmeshments and
symptoms based on them. However, as you change:
- some people may prefer that you remain compliant
- some people may react with emotional or psychosomatic symptoms
- some people may become frustrated because you
are harder to manipulate
Other people in your family or team may be in conflict or crisis. As
you explore how to live without fear or compliance, you will change your relationship habits. During this time, people affected
by your changes may be irritated or angry with you and may criticize
your decisions or actions.
Soulwork Code of Conduct .
Soulwork Flow Chart
End of Entanglement
Relationship entanglements can distort or hide
symptoms of mental ill-health. You may have identified with another person, for example, trying to partner
or parent a partner. Although you may want to end this role,
someone else may feel bound to take your previous role, and
express the symptoms appropriate for your entanglement.
Many relationship conflicts and transfer of symptoms can be
predicted during relationship diagnosis by an experienced systemic
coach. A good relationship coach or systemic therapist can
discuss your relationship ecology with you, and explore ways to improve it.
A professional's failure to help you monitor and manage your relationship ecology
may be best called incompetence.
Professional Relationship Coaching
Therapy and coaching are often limited by
esoteric theories and idealistic models which may not be in accord with
reality. If a marriage counselor says "All you need is love",
for example, it may sound reasonable, but so much is ignored. We ask:
- "How do you each want your partner
to love you?"
- "How do you each want to express
love to your partner?"
- "Who are appropriate role models
for the kind of love that you want?"
- "What might prevent you from
expressing love in the way you want?"
A couples therapist or relationship coach
may offer marriage enrichment, pre-marital counseling
or divorce prevention, and yet never explore how both
people want to express and receive love.
Partnership . Enjoy Partnership
Relationships for Life?
Healthy relationships produce commitment,
fulfillment and happiness. Maintaining healthy relationships need quality
communication. And quality communication usually requires that you manage
entanglements with and bonds to inappropriate people.
Problems will happen, although many
partnership problems merely reflect an inability to communicate
about difficulties. If you want healthy relationships, first
focus on developing your relationship qualities.
Partnership . Couple Coaching Flowchart
What makes Good Relationship Coaching?
We both wanted to
save our partnership. We both wanted to work it out. We were both
motivated ... we needed someone who could observe us and ensure
that we both played fair. Now we know that we needed a couple
coach - not a therapist.
Good relationship coaches
- walk their talk - not stumble their mumble
- continually develop their own relationship qualities
- advocate committed, long-term happy relationships
- avoid criticizing you, manipulating you or judging you
Good relationship coaching helps people:
- create healthy relationships
- improve their existing relationships
- make their own choices and decisions
- find appropriate resources and role models
- discover which relationship choices are right
- focus on relationships in the "big picture" of life
- focus on meaning and connection in partnership
- accept responsibility for fulfilling relationship goals
- recognize the consequences of attitudes and habits
- improve relationship skills, knowledge and experience
Good coaches help people walk paths
that they have already walked, and continually strive to live with
integrity their own lives and relationships. Good coaches further
their own development by working with mentors, getting specialist
training and peer supervision. Good coaching helps restore integrity.
Helping professionals can also become involved, hurt, irritated and upset
in their relationships. Our peer supervision is a helpful resource that
can provide space to think, to talk, to understand and to defuse confusing
situations. Our coaching and peer supervision can benefit to therapists,
counselors or coaches:
- manage negative emotions
- solve relationship problems
- predict clients' relationship conflicts
- control inappropriate displays of power
- explore and resolve conflicts of interest
Contact us to solve emotional issues and relationship problems.
Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright
© Martyn Carruthers 2001-2017 All rights reserved.