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We present interactive, demonstration-rich
workshops on couple coaching, affairs, disease, toxic secrets and relationship
bonds. Email us if you might be interested in a workshop.
Soulwork Couple & Partnership Coaching
Is your marriage or partnership in trouble? Or is it great
and you want to make it better? Or do you wonder if you should split? Or do
you want to find a partner? Soulwork couple coaching can help you.
Couple Coaching helps partners resolve personal and
partnership issues and achieve their goals. Soulwork Couple Coaching
integrates and transcends marriage counseling and business consulting.
Couple Coaching includes elements of
systemic family therapy;
team coaching and community coaching. Systemic Couple Coaching also includes
individual life coaching (to resolve individual objections,
conflicts, identity issues and trauma etc).
Soulwork Couple Coaching includes pre-marital counseling and help for people considering long-term partnership or mutual effort. We
can help you solve partnership
problems. We can help you evaluate and change your
goals, roles, patterns, rules and beliefs. As you and your partner evaluate your relationship,
you can identify and solve your problems. Soulwork coaching can help you define your mutual goals and
accepted responsibilities.
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Soulwork Couple Coaching:
Our Story |
Dear
Reader
...
Martyn Carruthers asked me to share our experience with you.
My husband and I have been married for 13 years with two adorable
daughters; I am a human resources manager and he is a therapist. We
think of our relationship as fulfilling in every aspect and we are happy to have each others commitment, trust and
love. We could communicate constructively and sort out most of our stuff.
However, there were "small" and "big" issues that we could not sort out
ourselves. We were too involved with our own processes to
concentrate on our partnership and long term consequences.
Some two years ago we decided we wanted professional support to enable
us to live towards our common goals, as well as our
personal and professional goals.
Both of us are psychologists and we
know many therapists offering marriage counseling, but we did not feel
comfortable with their standard approach which tries to
"fix" relationships. For two years we searched for someone with a deep understanding of relationships as well as a
straight-to-the-point-and-no-bullshit-approach.
A couple of months ago we met Martyn Carruthers in a
Soulwork workshop and we both sensed he could be the guy we could work
with ... this was our introduction to systemic couple coaching.
Some "big issues" turned
out to be symptoms of "small issues" and we resolved issues that we suffered for years in
a couple of sessions, while gaining deep insights. We not only
resolved issues, we explored what was happening "backstage" so we gained
valuable
perspectives and experience.
Soulwork couple
coaching showed us how to be more sensitive to each other's
perception and interpretation, and to the consequences of our deeds and
ambitions. It also gave us clarity in our other relationships with our other
family members.
Our couple-coaching
sessions were dynamic, goal-orientated and inspiring. Sometimes,
there were tears, sometimes deep dialogues
and, what surprised me most, many times we had good and healthy laughter
(even over serious issues). We value this
as clients and as professionals.
We believe that no matter how good a
relationship is, it can always be better, and both of us want to
continue to grow not just as two individuals, but as a couple and as a
family. This is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and
to our daughters. We are both attending Soulwork coach training.
KH & MH, April 2004 |
Systemic Couple Coaching
If you feel plagued by a problem,
you will
probably consider its causes. You may seek explanations within popular psychology, traumatic experiences
or decide that we're just not meant to be together.
Usually, the most motivated partner contacts a Soulwork coach. This
may be the one who suffers
most, or the one who wants to end a problem, or the one who most wants happiness. After the initial contact, Soulwork Couple Coaching follows the
flow chart below. Couple Coaching begins with an assessment:
- Where are you both now?
- What do you each want the other to
change?
- What gets in the way of your happiness together?
- What else could stop you both being content?
- What do you argue, quarrel or fight about?
- How do you want to make decisions together?
These simple questions may bring profound answers.
Exploring these questions together can help you and your partner accelerate
couple coaching (see Couple Coaching Flow Chart 1).
The second phase is complex, as described in the Relationship Coaching Manual; with structure, details and examples of Premarital
Coaching, Post-Abortion Coaching, Reconciliation and
Divorce Coaching; with tools for resolving guilt, transferences,
relationship bonds, trauma and mentor damage etc.
Soulwork Couple Coaching Flowchart
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Couple coaching sequence |
<Image: Flowchart CC1> Email us
for flowchart |
[ Individual
Coaching Flowchart ] [
Family Coaching Flowchart ]
[ Coaching Contracts Flowchart
]
Couple Coaching Phase 2
On completion of Phase 1, both partners decide whether
they want to continue together, or if they prefer to separate, or if they
want to participate in a trial reconciliation period.
Testimonial:
"My wife
and I attended marriage counseling last year. We discussed how our life together
might be better. But we
wanted more than the counselor could provide. A lot more. Soulwork with
Martyn Carruthers helped us sort out the really tricky issues. We could end
our bad feelings about our two abortions, my wife's abuse by her uncle
when she was ten years old and my sexual experiments when I was a teenager.
It was definitely work. You helped us clarify
my issues about my dead first wife and my wife's fascination
with a man she works with. We also realized I was too close to my wife's
teenage daughter - my wife didn't like it but she didn't know how to deal
with it. Now I'm just her step-Dad and not her special friend.
And that's all behind us. Even better than
cleaning up past issues, we both feel we can help each other handle pretty
much anything life throws at us.
JP & SP, 2004, London England |
The second phase of Soulwork Couple Coaching explores appropriate
methods for a couple to resolve objections, conflicts and old relationships etc,
while developing and building mutual respect and restoring intimacy. Couple
coaching phase 2 resolves complex relationship entanglements, and coaches both
partners to coach each other. (Soulwork couple coaching is taught in Soulwork
8.)
[ Enjoying Partnership ]
[ Father-Daughter Bonds ]
[ Mother-Son Bonds ]
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Soulwork Couple Coaching Flowchart 2 |
Image:
couple_coaching_2b.jpg |
Success begins with you! Do not
delegate your own transformation.
Soulwork Coach training can help you unlock your
personal and career success, your relationships and your life choices.
Live an inspired passionate life!. Discover what motivates you, what
inspires you, your strengths and WHY you want your goals. Make it all real
by helping others.
Interested?
Relationship Coaching ...
Systemic Coach Training
Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? We can train you to coach individuals, partners and teams
to resolve emotional, educational and relationship challenges.
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