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Emotional Issues
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Pain Control
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Relationship Problems

Dissolve Conflicts
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Enjoy Partnership
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Interview with Martyn
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Preparing for Partnership
Premarital Coaching for Compatibility © Martyn Carruthers

Online Life Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

Healthy, loving partnerships are some of the greatest benefits of being human.
Most people seek them but few seem to find them. It's not luck.
Do you know know how to enjoy a loving relationship?

Do you want to replace anger, sadness and fear with good feelings?
Do you want to end self-sabotage?

Premarital Coaching: Dating, Affairs & Committed Partnership

People who prefer short-term affairs may be poor long-term partners. Seduction skills are not partnership skills. People who seduce many sex-partners may become unable to enjoy a long term partnership. Their ability to attract others may harm a marriage - a long-term partnership requires many other skills than flirting and seduction. (See Mother-Bonded Men and Father-Bonded Women).

Changing how you meet people can also help you avoid unpleasant relationships. Often, how you meet impacts a subsequent relationship. You may have different expectations if you meet someone at a bar, at a seminar or at a wedding. Changing how you meet can lead to better relationships.

Do you know what type of relationship you both want? Are you going to be just friends? Or does your relationship have the chemistry and shared values suitable for a lasting partnership?

Premarital Coaching & Emotions

A component of our premarital coaching is verbalizing withheld emotions such as anger, guilt and fear. Many couples can move on quickly after they have verbalized their emotions. We often coach people to explore and express their unspoken emotions, and their partnerís emotions.

A next step is to uncover the causes of negative emotions. For us, emotions reflect relationships ... so we identify the relationship problems that resulted in the emotions.

The most shocking part of our sessions was to understand that our actions were driven by hidden emotions, and that our emotions were driven by past relationships.
His relationship with his mother, and mine with my older brother were
both childish confusions that we never cleaned up ... until now.
We now see each other as more human.

Premarital Counseling: Your First Partner

Did you know that your partnership choices probably originated in your childhood? Like a baby duck, as a child you imprinted your parents' characteristics. Your emotional imprints will attract you to similar people later in life. Perhaps its time to complete your unfinished business in old relationships.

Do you want to change some of your habits? Even if you decide, "Iíll NEVER have a marriage like my parents!" - that may not prevent you repeating your parents' drama. Perhaps they said the same thing when they were young.

Couple Coaching: Second and Subsequent Partners

Are you consistent when choosing partners? Do your second or subsequent partners remind you of your parents or previous partners? This can be so strong that abused people may unconsciously seek abusers in subsequent relationships.

How can you break this cycle? One way is to develop mature relationship skills.

Commitment & When to Commit

If couples took time to really know each other, some would not make a commitment. Later, when conflicts and incompatibilities surface, partners may blame each other for a lack of communication.

There is no such a thing as lack of communication. Every gesture, every withdrawal, delay, or retreat is communication, although it may be communication that a partner does not enjoy or want to acknowledge.

Do you or your partner have difficulty communicating? Many couples wait until after marriage to talk about values and roles. Our Couple Coaching helps couples improve their partnership.

Sexual Compatibility & Couple Coaching

Have you assessed your sexual compatibility with your partner? Can you imagine solving sexual difficulties during relationship coaching? Do you want to explore your path to sexual happiness?

Masters and Johnson, (experts in sexuality)

Half of all American marriages are troubled by some form of sexual distress ranging from disinterest and boredom to outright sexual dysfunction.

Many couples, and even relationship coaches, avoid discussing sex. Immature counselors or insecure therapists and may be reluctant to talk about a coupleís sexual happiness and avoid discussing sexual issues!

Counselors and therapists who are only trained to work with individuals may be unable to help couples explore and improve relationship issues. During our partnership coaching, many people experience a breakthrough in healing emotional and relationship issues.

Sexual Abuse . Sexual Dysfunction . Sexual Solutions

Please discuss the medical causes of sexual dysfunction or
infertility with a medical doctor before exploring other remedies.

Couple Coaching & Affairs

We can encourage you to make decisions - but we do not make decisions for you.
We can encourage you to see other points of view - but we do not take sides.
We can support your choices but we will not pressure you to change.

Infidelity is a common issue during our couple counseling. We help couples rebuild their communication, which becomes less blocked and more candid as they learn to understand each other. If ignored, common consequences of affairs are that one or both partners become emotionally burdened:

  1. They learn to live with guilt and anxiety
  2. They may sabotage or depress the rest of their lives
  3. They feel an underlying anger and are constantly ready to fight
  4. They live together with little intimacy, sharing a building, not a home

Betrayal is a common cause of conflict and partnership breakdown,
Contact us to heal emotional conflicts and relationship problems

Predictable Partnership . Enjoy Partnership . Evaluate Partnership

Do you want to solve emotional and relationship issues?

Online Coaching, Relationship Counseling & Systemic Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004-2018
All rights reserved.

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention or

For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

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Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email