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Are you entangled with your father?
Are you entangled with a woman who is entangled with her father?
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Do you know a woman who:
- cannot maintain a partnership?
- is immature - never grows up?
- forever tries to appear special?
- deceives and betrays people?
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- may behave like a spoiled child
- may sabotage other people's relationships
- attracts emotionally immature men
- may prefer codependent relationships
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These are signs of father-bonded women.
These are some signals of emotional chaos - for the women and for people involved
with them. Help is available.
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Entangled Parents - Entangled Children
When parents do not fulfill parental responsibilities, or love
their children as substitutes for other relationships, their children may suffer
emotional entanglements. Entangled children have difficulty expressing their own
identities - and may express identity loss as aggression,
learning disabilities and obsessions. Later, as adults,
they often enmesh their own children with dysfunctional parenting and emotional
incest.
Adult Woman or Little Girl?
A woman who is entangled with her father is often unable to maintain a
stable partnership. Such a woman may avoid partnership by attempting to rescue
father, attempting to rescue
immature or addicted men - or by avoiding available mature men.
[ See Teenager in Trouble ]
Substitute & Fantasy Fathers
If a father is dead, absent or irresponsible, a daughter may
adopt a male relative as a substitute - perhaps a brother, uncle or
grandfather. Or a daughter may create a fantasy father -
a fantasy who provides the missing love. An entanglement with a
fantasy father may help a
fatherless daughter cling to health and sanity; although later, she may seek a
substitute for that fantasy.
Parental Responsibilities
Situations that produce people who express entangled or codependent
behavior include:
- A parent is absent or dead - and the other parent is
immature, lost or lonely
- A parent is irresponsible or childish and cannot provide mature guidance
- A parent is an addict, obsessed, brain damaged, psychotic or insane
- A parent is displaced or controlled by another family member
(behaves like a victim)
- A parent loves a child in ways that later depress the child's life
Emotional Incest
Emotional Incest
is common. Soulwork systemic coaching can resolve intra-family codependence
and attachment disorders. We help motivated people find emotional freedom and build lasting happy
partnerships, by dissolving relationship bonds and entanglements.
Love at First Sight provides endless examples
of entanglements and transferences. You can read more about entanglements and toxic parenting at
Learning Disabilities.
Emotional incest between mothers and sons is described at
Little Prince.
Excluded Mothers
When Daughter bonds to Father, Mother may may react with anger
and irritation. Mother may try to punish Father and Daughter for their
betrayal - or retreat into depression and victim-hood. Whether Mother fights or rejects of ignores
Father and Daughter, the situation will
likely worsen. Systemic coaching can clarify complex family relationships and provide effective
solutions.
Disenfranchised Fathers
Many helping professionals
may strive to involve a mother in family problems and give less attention to
fathers. Instead of treating fathers
as an equal parents whose involvement is needed by their families,
helping professionals may demean them, and may devalue the father’s importance to his family.
[ Relationship Bonds
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Parent Coaching . Parental Alienation ]
Daddy's Little Princess
Family relationships in “the West” may be
considered abnormal or aberrant in other cultures, and vice versa. Relationship Coaching
provides a cross-cultural perspective; and can dissolve
the consequences of attachment disorders and toxic relationship bonds in many
cultures. The consequences include:
- physical or mental disease
- partnership chaos
- sick and depressed children
- miscarriages and crib deaths
- work and money problems
- anxiety and stress disorders
Emotional Incest: Parent-Child Codependence
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F
E
E
D
B
A
C
K |
"I married a man with a teenage daughter.
She was hostile, but the father believed that once she understood how much
he loved me, she would come around. But she did not want me in her life or
his life. My husband kept saying that I was like his daughter.
I felt he was trying to make me into an older version of her. When my
opinions or attitudes were different than his daughter's, he found fault
with me. I tried to make our marriage work, but his love for me
evaporated into a list of faults that echoed his daughter's complaints. It
took me forever to admit that there was something very unhealthy about their
relationship and his emotional abuse." |
Mother-Son Bonding,
is equally common, equally predictable and equally toxic. If father-daughter and
mother-son entanglements occur in a family simultaneously – you can
expect generations of suffering.
[ Daddy's Princess - Part 2
]
Letter from an American Teenage Girl
(2004)
if a father is over-loving a daughter as you mentioned
in your website. and the mother feel rejected or left out . tahts her
problem!!! she has got to deal with it on her own. its not her child or
her husbands fault that they love eachtoher. she has just got to deal
with it. if she cant she can leave. as far as a kids point of you ... we
dont care. one honest loving parent is more than enough. if a mother doenst even know
her place.. well thats too bad. some kids love both and all are
happy. sometimes kids choose a parent. the other parent has got to deal
with it.Please email us your comments |
Soulwork provides effective coaching, coach training and mentorship
for emotional incest and family entanglements. We train professional coaches to coach
individuals, partners and
teams to resolve a range of emotional, educational and relationship challenges.
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1999, 2005. All right reserved.
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