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We present interactive seminars and
demonstration-rich workshops on family coaching,
death & dying, toxic secrets and relationship bonds.
Email us if you might be interested in a workshop
in your area.
I, Robot?
I once wrote a small program
so that my computer would display "human" ideas. It might say
"I will do what
you ask but not what you want", or "I will remember this
moment forever", or even "I love you".
Sometimes it displayed "I didn't ask you to create me" or
"Don't switch me off - I don't want to die".
Of course - it's only a computer programmed to
communicate words. However interesting or shocking the
messages were - however co-incidental or synchronous - it was
just a machine following a program. It was programmed ... not at
all like me or you. We have free choice. Don't we?
What is Death?
On a day very much like today,
your your heart will stop beating. You will exhale - and never again inhale. You
will close your eyes - perhaps knowing that you will never open them
again. Perhaps
while you sleep, perhaps in an accident, perhaps in an old folks home or
a hospital ... your body will die.
Your death might appear different if it were
predictable or consistent. But - just when you start to understand
what's going on - it's time to say goodbye - despite your efforts, hopes
and prayers.
Is your life Precious?
Perhaps life is precious because death is certain.
Probably you don't want to die - you want to survive - but sometimes
the price of your own life is too high. You may risk your life to
protect your family - or your community - or your platoon - or a
stranger - or a pet.
For what would you willingly die? For your beliefs?
For your family? For your elected politician? For your boss? Or would you die to avoid the
suffering of NOT protecting something precious to you. Some people faced
with chronic pain may prefer death. See Long Term Pain Relief
and Pain Coaching
Suicide
The voluntary termination of life is described
here. Most suicidal behavior seems to
indicate that "my life does not make sense" or "my death makes more
sense than life". See also Are you Suicidal?
What really happens after death?
What do you believe? What do you know for sure?
- Your behavior will continue in the
memories of people who know you
- Your genes will continue in the bodies of your
surviving children
- Your values will continue in any projects
that continue
- Your chaos will continue until someone cleans up
your mess
Scientists can tell you
about their observations of what will happen to a body after death.
Philosophers can tell you
about their ideas about what happens to your sense of self after death.
Religious people can tell
you about their ideas of rebirth, afterlife and divine punishment.
Most Christian denominations teach that a soul
will live on in places or conditions called heaven or hell. Most Buddhists
and Hindus believe that a soul will transmigrate or reincarnate
after the death of the body. Atheists may believe that we are without souls, and the dead
can never live again. Agnostics can truthfully say that they don't know.
Soul as Spiritual Identity
People who believe that they have, or are, a spiritual identity,
may believe that when their bodies die, their spiritual identity
continues. Some people believe that certain behaviors can guide their
spiritual identity to eternal bliss. They may also believe that if
their
behavior does not meet some standard, that their spiritual identity
can suffer - perhaps for a few years or perhaps for eternity.
Life Before Death
Is there life before death? To talk about "death", we
should have a strong concept of "life".
- Emotions and feelings require a body in which to be experienced
and expressed
- Thoughts and memories require a body in which to be stored and
recalled
Near-Death Experiences (NDE)
Many people have described near-death experiences. Their bodies
almost died and yet continued to live. These people can describe
near-death experiences (NDE), which seem to indicate that life continues after death,
as so many descriptions of NDE are similar.
People who have experienced near-death say that NDE is real,
while some scientists say that NDE is only a physiological reaction of
a human body undergoing deep stress.
Past-Life Experiences
Descriptions of past-life experiences seem to
access memories from before birth. Past-life experiences seem to
indicate the continuation of
life after death, either as reincarnation, or that memories are stored
or accessible in some not-this-world reality. Many descriptions of
past-life experiences are similar.
What really happens when your physical body dies?
Most people answer this with their beliefs.
No one can prove what happens to you - or even if there is any "you" for anything to happen to. We have the near-death and past-life
experiences to consider. We have the descriptions by people considered
to be holier than average. We have dogma from various religions and the
concepts of those few people who dare to ponder this deadly issue.
Identification with a Dead Person (DPI)
Some
people unconsciously identify with a dead family member - often
following a suicide; or with a dead sibling - often
following an abortion, The resulting dead person identification
can often be resolved by motivated people using systemic coaching. An
unpleasant consequence of dead person identification is the increased
possibility of miscarriages, stillbirth and infertility. Some signs of this are:
- Cannot specify goals
- Avoids finishing projects
- Offer endless justifications
- Express strong and inappropriate melancholy
- Describe "fulfillment" as a post-death experience
- Depressed - being alive does not make sense
Following an abortion, a later
child may identify with the missing child - the hole in the family system -
and may grow up melancholic in all parts of life and highly sensitive to
other people. Such a child is often fascinated by death. Soulwork offers
solutions for people who have identified with a
dead person.
Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? Do you want to coach people to resolve emotional and relationship challenges?
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