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We present interactive seminars and demonstration-rich
workshops on systemic couple coaching, healing divorce,
family secrets and relationship bonds. Email us if you might be
interested in organizing a workshop in your area.
Divorce is Difficult
Have you been considering divorce for months or
years? Or was your partner's decision a shock? If you are
considering separation or divorce, you may experience emotional conflicts and
mood swings. You may find yourself doing strange things. Making a decision to stay or
separate is often the most difficult step. You can get Soulwork
partnership coaching ... and divorce coaching.
If you or your partner announce a decision to separate, your life will change.
You may feel lost, haunted by shattered dreams of happiness and huge guilt.
You may ask, "What did I do?" and "What else could I have done?"
You may experience guilt for any deception, abandonment or betrayal
that you have made.
And some people may try to increase your suffering - for their benefit. Divorce Coaching
Suddenly your home is only a building and your possessions seem to
have little
value. Dividing marital property may seem an onerous task. Married friends may avoid you, as if you
have an infectious
disease. Friends often ostracize the partner that they consider "most
guilty". Neighbors, and colleagues at work may also behave strangely towards
you.
[ Evaluate Partnership
] [ Stress
] [ Divorce and Children
] [
Parent Alienation ]
You may receive interesting hints and invitations from lonely
people of the opposite sex. (This is a REALLY good time to refuse or
at least postpone those invitations, unless you enjoy chaos and confusion.)
It's better to fully examine, learn from and grieve your partnership, than
to distract yourself with shallow relationships or sexual affairs.
Separation & Divorce
Increasing divorce rates may reflect the anti-family distractions that fill the modern world
- or perhaps divorce rates reflect an increasing unwillingness to
tolerate unhappy marriages. Factors that affect divorce differ around the
world - the following apply in Western Europe and America:
- Coping: Aging, physical changes, medication side effects and mental incapacities can influence a couple's ability to cope
with partnership demands
- Crisis: Some couples cannot solve problems. Deficiencies may motivate
a partner
to leave or to have affairs.
- Expectations: Affairs often indicate an inability
to fulfill idealistic expectations. If a partnership isn't up to
a partner's ideals, the problem may not be the relationship but
the ideals
- Divorce laws: Most Western people can divorce
and remarry relatively easily
- Dual careers: A partner may care for a career
more than a partnership
- Fewer children: Child-raising can be completed
by the couples' early 40's, leaving 30 or more years for partnership -
and partnership crises
- Health issues: range from low self-esteem to
fatal disease. Severe health issues such as mental instability, debilitating
accidents, or disease will impact any relationship.
- Increased lifespan: People can partner for 50
years or more, and separate late in life
- Parenting: Couples who neglect their intimate partnership
while parenting may separate once their children are mature (empty
nest crisis)
- Public perception: Affairs, separation and
divorce are increasingly perceived as normal
[
Affairs ] [
Children of Divorce ]
Relationship & Divorce Coaching
Soulwork relationship coaching helps people enjoy happy and fulfilled lives
- and rapidly solving family problems. You
can obtain Soulwork coaching for all stages of
your partnership - from preparing for partnership to bereavement. We can
coach you through the emotional steps of separation. (We recommend that you also consult legal professionals,
even if you settle out-of-court.) You can:
- control your emotions and remain as peaceful as possible
- prepare for the reactions of your family, friends and colleagues
- protect and shelter your children
- anticipate and defuse potential emotional explosions
- avoid pitfalls while you accomplish your goals
You may obtain Soulwork Divorce Coaching for a few sessions or you can
continue as long as you need help. Clients report that Soulwork separation
coaching has been invaluable for staying emotionally stable during divorce proceedings.
After a Divorce
- How well are you adjusting to life as a single?
- Are some areas in your life OK, while you're stuck in others?
- Does persistent anger, guilt, grief or doubt hold you back?
- How will you prepare for your next relationship?
If you are ready to move on with your life, Relationship Coaching is
for you. It doesn't matter if it's been ten days or ten years since your divorce, or
whether if you have another partner. It's easier to deal with challenges that
you can see, and then move forward into a full and joyful life! Learn how to
learn from your past without repeating it. Are you ready for a happy future?
Soulwork Divorce Coaching is not:
- Psychotherapy - we don't dig up your past
- Blaming or fault-finding
- Repeating ineffective or useless behavior
- Staying afraid, angry or lonely
- Legal advice
Soulwork Divorce Coaching helps you ...
- Move forward safely
- Take responsibility for your decisions
- Learn healthy relationship skills
- Adjust to single life
- Rebuild trust and self-confidence
- Rediscover integrity
- Set borders and limits
- Prepare for healthy partnership
Children of Divorce
Soulwork divorce coaching can support your ongoing parenting by dissolving
parenting
issues. Parenting can be difficult enough in a healthy marriage. During
and after divorce, parenting can be extremely challenging. Every family has
different strategies for parenting, and especially during separation, and
differences in parenting strategies can be exaggerated and distorted.
[ Children of Divorce
] [ Parental Alienation Syndrome ]
Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? Do you want to coach people to resolve emotional and relationship challenges?
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002, 2005. All
right reserved
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