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Systemic Solutions & Divorce Coaching

Systemic Solutions with Martyn Carruthers

We present interactive seminars and demonstration-rich workshops on systemic couple coaching, healing divorce, family secrets and relationship bonds. Email us if you might be interested in organizing a workshop in your area.

Divorce is Difficult

Have you been considering divorce for months or years? Or was your partner's decision a shock? If you are considering separation or divorce, you may experience emotional conflicts and mood swings. You may find yourself doing strange things. Making a decision to stay or separate is often the most difficult step. You can get Soulwork partnership coaching ... and divorce coaching.

If you or your partner announce a decision to separate, your life will change. You may feel lost, haunted by shattered dreams of happiness and huge guilt. You may ask, "What did I do?" and "What else could I have done?" You may experience guilt for any deception, abandonment or betrayal that you have made. And some people may try to increase your suffering - for their benefit.

Divorce Coaching

Suddenly your home is only a building and your possessions seem to have little value. Dividing marital property may seem an onerous task. Married friends may avoid you, as if you have an infectious disease. Friends often ostracize the partner that they consider "most guilty". Neighbors, and colleagues at work may also behave strangely towards you.

Evaluate Partnership . Stress . Divorce and Children . Parent Alienation

You may receive interesting hints and invitations from lonely people of the opposite sex. (This is a REALLY good time to refuse or at least postpone those invitations, unless you enjoy chaos and confusion.) It's better to fully examine, learn from and grieve your partnership, than to distract yourself with shallow relationships or sexual affairs.

Separation & Divorce

Increasing divorce rates may reflect the anti-family distractions that fill the modern world - or perhaps divorce rates reflect an increasing unwillingness to tolerate unhappy marriages. Factors that affect divorce differ around the world - the following apply in Western Europe and America:

  1. Coping: Aging, physical changes, medication side effects and mental incapacities can influence a couple's ability to cope with partnership demands
  2. Crisis: Some couples cannot solve problems. Deficiencies may motivate a partner to leave or to have affairs.
  3. Expectations: Affairs often indicate an inability to fulfill idealistic expectations. If a partnership isn't up to a partner's ideals, the problem may not be the relationship but the ideals
  4. Divorce laws: Most Western people can divorce and remarry relatively easily
  5. Dual careers: A partner may care for a career more than a partnership
  6. Fewer children: Child-raising can be completed by the couples' early 40's, leaving 30 or more years for partnership - and partnership crises
  7. Health issues: range from low self-esteem to fatal disease. Severe health issues such as mental instability, debilitating accidents, or disease will impact any relationship.
  8. Increased lifespan: People can partner for 50 years or more, and separate late in life
  9. Parenting: Couples who neglect their intimate partnership while parenting may separate once their children are mature (empty nest crisis)
  10. Public perception: Affairs, separation and divorce are increasingly perceived as normal

Affairs . Children of Divorce

Relationship & Divorce Coaching

Soulwork relationship coaching helps people enjoy happy and fulfilled lives - and rapidly solving family problems. You can obtain Soulwork coaching for all stages of your partnership - from preparing for partnership to bereavement. We can coach you through the emotional steps of separation. (We recommend that you also consult legal professionals, even if you settle out-of-court.) You can:
  • control your emotions and remain as peaceful as possible
  • prepare for the reactions of your family, friends and colleagues
  • protect and shelter your children
  • anticipate and defuse potential emotional explosions
  • avoid pitfalls while you accomplish your goals

You may obtain Soulwork Divorce Coaching for a few sessions or you can continue as long as you need help. Clients report that Soulwork separation coaching has been invaluable for staying emotionally stable during divorce proceedings.

After a Divorce

  • How well are you adjusting to life as a single?
  • Are some areas in your life OK, while you're stuck in others?
  • Does persistent anger, guilt, grief or doubt hold you back?
  • How will you prepare for your next relationship?

If you are ready to move on with your life, Relationship Coaching is for you. It doesn't matter if it's been ten days or ten years since your divorce, or whether if you have another partner. It's easier to deal with challenges that you can see, and then move forward into a full and joyful life! Learn how to learn from your past without repeating it. Are you ready for a happy future?

Soulwork Divorce Coaching is not:

  • Psychotherapy - we don't dig up your past
  • Blaming or fault-finding
  • Repeating ineffective or useless behavior
  • Staying afraid, angry or lonely
  • Legal advice

Soulwork Divorce Coaching helps you ...

  • Move forward safely
  • Take responsibility for your decisions
  • Learn healthy relationship skills
  • Adjust to single life
  • Rebuild trust and self-confidence
  • Rediscover integrity
  • Set borders and limits
  • Prepare for healthy partnership

Children of Divorce

Soulwork divorce coaching can support your ongoing parenting by dissolving parenting issues. Parenting can be difficult enough in a healthy marriage. During and after divorce, parenting can be extremely challenging. Every family has different strategies for parenting, and especially during separation, and differences in parenting strategies can be exaggerated and distorted.

Children of Divorce . Parental Alienation Syndrome

Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? Do you want to coach people to resolve emotional and relationship challenges?

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002, 2005. All right reserved


 

 
 

 

Training Centers & Programs
We offer systemic coach training to helping professionals
and to people who want healthy relationships and happy families.

Good Questions

Good Answers

Good Training

1. Where are you now in your life? Assess fixations, bonds and enmeshments Systems 1
2. What do you want?  Define life goals ... and blocks to success Systems 2
3. How can you reach your goals?  Use conscious and unconscious resources Systems 3
4. Do your emotions limit you?  Dissolve abuse, trauma and mentor damage Systems 4
5. Do your beliefs block you? Change limiting beliefs to end dependence Systems 5
6. Does inner emptiness limit you? Resolve identity loss to recover qualities and skills Systems 6
7. Do you want happy partnership? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully) Systems 7
8. Do you want healthy children? Coach parents to resolve family problems Systems 8
9. Do you want team success? Coach team leaders and top teams ... together Systems 9
10. Do you want community? Coach community leaders and communities Systems 10
**   Do you have unusual goals? Specialty coaching & training for unusual goals Specialty

What is Hawaiian Shamanism?

One root of our systemic magic Huna 1-6

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2011 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers
to help people dissolve emotional blocks, improve relationships and achieve goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... ask for permission to post, publish or teach this work.