|
We present interactive and
demonstration-rich workshops on systemic family coaching,
relationship entanglements, emotional freedom and relationship
bonds. Email us if you might be interested in a workshop.
Emotional freedom
is cheaper than Emotional Bondage
Are you bothered by emotional reactions, confusion or
relationship patterns that result from events such as
codependence, emotional
incest and client abuse by therapists.
Are you Entangled?
Entanglements (enmeshments
& complexes) refer to unconscious blocks and habits that
can cause chaos and suffering. Entanglements are about
your inability to clarify confusion and to enjoy your life and relationships.
Entanglements are associated with
guilt, transference and substitution.
|
Guilt |
You have a lower capacity for happiness following abandonment, betrayal or hurt |
|
Transference |
You express inappropriate feelings to people. |
|
Substitution |
You attract emotional expressions wanted
from one person from other people. |
You may show your entanglements by
inappropriate behavior that you rationalize or justify. You can free yourself from
the symptoms and consequences of entanglements with Systemic Coaching.
[
Personality Disorders .
Developmental Disorders ]
Emotional Freedom
Do you behave like a lost child or a victim?
Do you play victim,
victimizer or rescuer games? These games have high stakes.
These games can be so intense that you forget that they are only games.
Many families, organizations and
cults encourage entanglements, to control people. There are
rules, points and skills. But the rules are often secret
and you can only lose.
Signs of Entangled Relationships
|
| Excuses | Blaming | Complaining |
Criticizing |
| Threatening |
Coercing |
Begging |
Gossiping |
| Don't say what you
mean |
Don't take yourself seriously |
Claim everything is your fault |
Never say "No" |
| Don't mean what you say |
Tell people not to take you seriously |
Say nothing is your fault |
Never say "Yes" |
| Don't know what you mean |
Take yourself too seriously |
Avoid talking about yourself |
Lie, protect and cover up for people |
| Apologize for being alive |
Aren't sure what is the point |
Talk too much |
Talk in self-critical, or hostile ways |
| Only say what provokes people |
Only express
opinions when people will agree |
Claim to sacrifice your happiness
for others |
Cannot express emotions
appropriately |
| Compulsive spending |
Believe lies |
Tell lies |
Become workaholic |
A powerful way to manipulate you - and for you to
manipulate others - is through sex.
Partnership & Sexual Entanglements
|
- Do you have sex when you don't want to?
- Do you initiate sex when you feel bad?
- Can you ask for what you want in bed?
- Do you withdraw from your sex partner?
- Are you disgusted by your sex partner?
|
- Is sex just robotic movements?
- Have you lost interest in sex?
- Do you invent excuses to avoid sex?
- Do you wish a partner would die?
- Do you consider sexual affairs?
|
[ Sexual
Abuse . Sexual Solutions .
Sexual Issues ]
Long-Term Entanglements
Most codependent entanglements and
dysfunctional disorders get worse over time. You may become
addicted to your own emotions. First become aware of consequences of entangled behavior.
Common Consequences of Codependence
|
- feel lethargic or low energy
- feel dejected and depressed
- feel hopeless, helpless &
worthless
- feel withdrawn and isolated
- abuse or neglect your children
- avoid your responsibilities
|
- consider self-harm or suicide
- become aggressive and violent
- psychosomatic disease
- eating and sleeping disorders
- addictions to substances
- autoimmune disease symptoms
|
Now let's look at
common emotional symptoms ...
| Anger |
Anxiety |
Sadness |
- Are you afraid of your own anger?
- Are you frightened of other people's anger?
- Do you hide or swallow your anger?
|
- Are you afraid of authorities?
- Are you afraid of being abandoned?
- Are you afraid of the consequences?
|
- Do you proclaim your sadness?
- Do you punish people who make you sad?
- Do you feel guilt for feeling sad?
|
Entanglements often include avoiding or overloading responsibility.
Entanglements & Responsibility
|
- Must you help people with problems?
- anger?
|
- Are you afraid of authorities?
- Are you afraid of being abandoned?
- Are you afraid of the consequences?
|
- Do you proclaim your sadness?
- Do you punish people who make you sad?
- Do you feel guilt for feeling sad?
|
Entanglements often include avoiding or overloading responsibility.
Entanglements & Responsibility
|
- Must you help people with problems?
- Do you give unwanted advice?
- Do you obsess about people's needs?
- Do you try to please people but not yourself?
|
- Are you attracted to needy people?
- Do you only attract needy people?
- Do you feel victimized?
- Are you extremely responsible?
- Are you extremely irresponsible?
|
Some helping professionals delay resolving their
entanglements. See ... Entanglements 2
Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? We can train you who coach individuals, partners and teams to resolve emotional, educational and relationship challenges.
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2002, 2005 All rights
reserved. |
