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Emotional Issues
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Systemic Family Coaching
Developing Families Martyn Carruthers

Online Life Coaching, Counseling & Training for Families

We offer coaching and training on improving family relationships,
family constellations and resolving family problems.

Do you want to create a healthier and happier home? We help people improve their communication, solve emotional problems and cope with family challenges such as births, illnesses, marriages and deaths.

We perceive families as living systems of people rather than as groups of individuals. We use systems theories to evaluate family relationships in terms of roles and responsibilities, and we help families solve problems by adjusting how the family members work together rather than trying to fix specific members.

Families who do not manage their emotional problems can expect their fixations, obsessions and habits - and the consequences of their behaviors to be duplicated by their children and grandchildren. We sometimes call this family karma ...

Staying Sane in an Insane Family

Families are not only people - families include feelings, beliefs, responsibilities and goals. Family behavior is strongly affected by their perceptions of behaviors, beliefs, values and justice. Often, the meanings given to events are more important than the event themselves.

Premature deaths, illnesses, accidents, divorces, suicides or other events can and do happen. These events do not only impact your daily life - if handled poorly these events can upset you and your family for generations.

Excluding family members may not only hurt and humiliate the rejected people - other family members, perhaps in subsequent generations, may try to bring back replacements for the excluded family members, either by adoption or marriage, or by identification - by expressing the emotions and feelings of the missing people.

We help people explore how family drama events affects their mental and physical health, including susceptibility to disease, and patterns of deaths, accidents or loss which may be repeated in each generation. This offers many opportunities for people to understand themselves, their behavior and their relationship habits.

You can help prevent the unpleasant events and tragedies of your ancestors being repeated by your children and your grandchildren. We can show you how to end cross-generational family enmeshment and intergenerational fixations.

Medical Doctor's Perspective . Identifications

Assess Common Interests and Identify Differences

Most human behavior is influenced and maintained by relationships - by the way people interact.

We help individual people, couples and whole families find ways to change how they behave in families and how families behave in communities. Our optimistic and dynamic coaching can help you and your family cope with a changing world.

  • Individual Coaching - learn skills for success, health and happiness.
  • Couple Coaching: learn skills and solve emotional problems for happy partnership.
  • Family Coaching: skills for parents - child-raising, family habits, learning disabilities, etc
  • Corporate Coaching skills for managers and negotiations; Team Leadership coaching.
  • Community Coaching and Trainer Training are also available.

Partnership . Predictable Partnership . Evaluating Partnership

Most remedial approaches deal only with symptoms, and not with systemic roots. Following such interventions, the system renews the symptom or creates another, continuing to express the dysfunction. People can be ill from the same illness repetitively, or from successive similar diseases. Systemic coaching can solve the fundamental imbalance; until the symptom spontaneously disappears. Rooted in relationships are: physical illnesses, compulsive-addictive behavior, mental blocks and repetitive life crises. Ana Pejcinova, PhD

Some of our Family Coaching Resources

Learning Disabilities Emotional Incest

Family Spirit

Children of Divorce Post-Abortion Coaching


Parental Alienation

Ending Addictions

Stress Disorders

Mother-Son Fixations

Father-Daughter Enmeshment

Fixed Toxic Beliefs

 Enjoying Partnership

Evaluating Partnership

Predictable Partnership

Family Coaching

Questions we often ask families:

  1. How close are your family members now?
  2. What would empower all family members?
  3. What could stop you being happy together?
  4. What do you want your family to do together?
  5. How do you want to improve family happiness?

Exploring and answering these questions allows you and your family to re-evaluate the situation. These questions may seem simple ... yet your full answers to these questions will likely be profound.

If one partner wants to change the other partner's perspectives, habits or beliefs - we can help the partners integrate their goals, while learning how to become independent of manipulation or coercion. Partners can reach their partnership goals - together.

We help people manage emotions and family chaos ... we help people find solutions for emotional blocks and relationship problems.

Systemic Coach Training . Home-Study

'The family system is an idea that may have taken us all off track. It is far better to do away with the concept of the family system to which the treating professional is as active a contributor as anyone else. We would then not say the system creates the problem, but that the problem creates the system. In other words, a problem does not exist independently of the "observing systems" that are reciprocally and collectively defining the problem.'
Boscolo et al,1987

Systemic Coaching needs Expertise & Experience

The interpretation of Soulwork maps and constellations requires a knowledge of relationship dynamics and considerable experience with partial personalities and transferences. Expertise demands quality training and massive experience.

We help families change unwanted family traditions and habits. We don't blame anybody - rather we create opportunities for shared responsibility. We help members develop self-esteem, responsibility, and healthy relationship skills.

  • Manage negative emotions
  • Dissolve toxic relationship bonds
  • Provide or find healthy role models
  • Listen, respect and clarify communications
  • Build acceptance, trust, empathy and compassion
  • Respond appropriately to perceptions and feedback
  • Dissolve conflicts and develop family integrity (family spirit)

We help people solve emotional problems and improve their relationships.
The effects can be immediate - and unfold over generations.

Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2003-2018
All rights reserved

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention or

For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email