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Emotional Issues
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Systemic Family Relationship Counseling
Changing Family Relationships Martyn Carruthers

Online Family Coaching, Counseling & Therapy

Contact us for coaching, counseling and training on family relationships,
family constellations and resolving family problems.

Does your child make choices that concern you?
Can you say "No!" when "No!" is needed?

We help families create healthier and happier lives together. We coach family members to improve their communication, to manage emotional problems and to cope with family situations - births, illnesses, marriages and deaths and the everyday details that make up our lives .

Families behave much like other human relationship systems - very few families behave like groups of isolated individuals. We help people evaluate their family relationships in terms of roles, responsibilities and the happiness of their members. We help families solve problems by changing how they work rather than trying to fix specific members.

Families who do not manage their problematic traditions or habits can expect these behaviors and consequences to be duplicated by their children and grandchildren. We sometimes call this family karma.

Systemic Family Coaching

Your family must cope with predictable problems. Premature deaths, illnesses, missing family members, accidents or other apparent injustices will happen. These events do not only impact the daily life of family members, if handled poorly they can upset family harmony for generations.

The exclusion of family members may not only hurt and humiliate those being rejected - other family members, perhaps in a subsequent generation, may try to bring back the missing family members, either by adoption or marriage, or by identification - by expressing the emotions and feelings of the missing members.

We help people explore how unjust events affect their health, susceptibility to disease, and patterns of deaths, accidents or loss may be repeated in each generation. Our perspective offers many opportunities for people to understand themselves as well as their emotions and their relationships.

Medical Doctor's Perspective . Identifications

Assess Common Interests and Identify Differences

Our work is not only for people with problems - it is for adults who are motivated for more or better. Most human behavior is influenced and maintained by relationships - by the way people interact.

We help individual people or whole families to explore and find ways to change how they behave in families and how families behave in communities. Our effective yet optimistic approach can help you and your family cope with a changing world.

  • Individual Coaching - skills for success, health and happiness.
  • Couple Coaching: learn skills and solve emotional problems for happy partnership.
  • Family Coaching: skills for parents - child-raising, family habits, learning disabilities, etc
  • Corporate Coaching skills for managers and negotiations; Team Leadership coaching.
  • Community Coaching and Trainer Training are also available.

Partnership . Predictable Partnership . Evaluating Partnership

Most remedial approaches deal only with symptoms, and not with systemic roots. Following such interventions, the system renews the symptom or creates another, continuing to express the dysfunction. People can be ill from the same illness repetitively, or from successive similar diseases. Systemic coaching resolves the fundamental imbalance; until the symptom spontaneously disappears. Rooted in relationships are: physical illnesses, compulsive-addictive behavior, mental blocks and repetitive life crises. Ana Pejcinova, PhD

We cannot help everybody. Our coaching may be too difficult for people with psychological disorders, or who cling to their parents' communication habits. Families that are generally unsuitable for our family coaching include:

  1. families with members who cannot or will not participate
  2. families with members who risk an emotional or psychological crisis
  3. families whose cultural or religious values are opposed to outside counseling

We can help family members to:

  • end overt and covert abusive behavior
  • stop fighting and have more peaceful discussions
  • improve their empathy, understanding and sensitivity
  • express what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior
  • improve relationships with members who are perceived as "victims"
  • respect other members with personal space, contact; promises; boundaries
  • be fair to all members, irrespective of their gender, age, birth order, abilities, etc

Some of our Family Resources

Learning Disabilities Emotional Incest

Family Spirit

Children of Divorce Post-Abortion Coaching


Parental Alienation

Ending Addictions

Stress Disorders

Mother-Son Fixations

Father-Daughter Enmeshment

Fixed Toxic Beliefs

 Enjoying Partnership

Evaluating Partnership

Predictable Partnership

Family Coaching

Some questions that we often ask about families:

  1. How close are family members now?
  2. What would empower all family members?
  3. What could stop you being happy together?
  4. What do you want your family to do together?
  5. How do you want to improve family happiness?

Exploring and answering these questions allows you and your family to re-evaluate the situation. These questions may seem simple ... yet your full answers to these questions will likely be profound.

We help people manage emotions and family chaos ... we help people find solutions for emotional blocks and relationship problems.

Systemic Training . Home-Study

'The family system is an idea that may have taken us all off track. It is far better to do away with the concept of the family system to which the treating professional is as active a contributor as anyone else. We would then not say the system creates the problem, but that the problem creates the system. In other words, a problem does not exist independently of the "observing systems" that are reciprocally and collectively defining the problem.'

Boscolo et al,1987

Changing Families

The interpretation of Soulwork family maps and constellations requires
huge knowledge about relationship dynamics and considerable experience, especially with partial personalities and transferences. Although training
takes a few weeks and proficiency can be gained within a few months,
expertise requires both quality training and years of experience.

We help families change unwanted habits and share responsibility. We coach people to develop self-esteem and responsibility, and healthy relationship skills.

  • Manage negative emotions
  • Dissolve toxic relationship bonds
  • Provide or find healthy role models
  • Listen, respect and clarify communications
  • Build acceptance, trust, empathy and compassion
  • Respond appropriately to perceptions and feedback
  • Dissolve conflicts and find family integrity (family spirit)

Contact us for online evaluation, coaching and feedback.
The effects are immediate - and unfold over generations.

Online Family Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2003-2018
All rights reserved

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention or

For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email