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Gay / Lesbian / Bisexual Relationship Coaching
Solutions for Emotional & Relationship Problems 2009

Online Help: Relationship Coaching, Counseling & Therapy

We help people manage their negative emotions,
change their limiting beliefs and resolve relationship problems.

In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from its list of mental disorders. The APA stated: “Human beings cannot choose to be either gay or straight ... sexual orientation is not a conscious choice that can be voluntarily changed.”

Do you feel under attack?

Are you besieged by conflicting, contradictory and useless relationship advice? Does poor guidance damage your relationships? In many countries, parental mentorship is being replaced by television, cinema and music. (Listen carefully to your favorite love music - many songs celebrate symbiosis and codependence).

Few corporations profit from healthy, happy, mature people - while there are huge profits to be made from unhealthy, unhappy and immature people. Unhappy people distract themselves in expensive ways and buy tons of antidepressants.

If you are gay, some people will attack you. If you do not conform to their standards, they prefer that you are unhappy. Claiming good intentions, they want you to change.

Being gay is about as common as being left-handed, and many people view being gay as an abnormal third sex. They want gay people to hide - or suffer. Many gay men become closet queens or professional artists. And more and more gay people are holding important positions.

Most advice is actually criticism (and most criticism seems to be autobiography). Good coaching and quality training can help you solve emotional and relationship problems.

Recognizing Relationship Problems - Gay, Bi or Lesbian

How do you know when a relationship has problems? Do you wait for pain and suffering? Some signs may warn of the end of a relationship. If you see a few of them, consider our couple counseling. (These issues apply to all couples).

  1. Intimacy seems to have died.
  2. You feel trapped and exhausted.
  3. Your partner doesn't share time with you.
  4. Your partner is not interested in your feelings.
  5. Your partner tells other people important news first.
  6. You look forward to going to work ... or going anywhere else.
  7. Your partner doesn't consult you before making major decisions.

Important Questions for Gay / Lesbian Partners

When we coach gay or lesbian couples, we note that most partnership problems and life challenges are very similar whether straight, bi or gay. Common questions are:

  1. Can we help you enjoy better relationships?
  2. How can we coach your relationship?
  3. Who coaches you on your relationships?
  4. Is one relationship coach as good as another?
  5. How can our relationship coaching benefit you?
  6. Is our relationship coaching a wise investment?
  7. What problems can you solve with a good relationship coach?

Relationship Coaching Answers

1. Can we help you enjoy better relationships?
Yes. We can focus on your happiness and success, rather than offering philosophy or psychobabble about your problems and why you have them. We can help you evaluate and change your everyday behavior ... apart or together. Your decisions and your subsequent actions will determine your success.

We cannot stop you feeling depressed about depressing situations. We can help you manage your emotions and solve relationship  problems.

The worst blocks are self-sabotage and identity loss. Your success and happiness require your motivation and participation! We can help you find your own meaning and purpose - we won't try to give you ours!

2. How can we coach your relationship?
We can help you manage difficult emotions and solve relationship problems. While some conditions are different in each relationship, mature people can improve the quality and quantity of their relationships - whether straight, gay, lesbian or bisexual .

3. Who coaches you on your relationships?
Many people offer you advice - even your hairdresser. Your decision to get our help to solve your relationship problems may depend on:

  1. How much you have suffered
  2. Your emotions and emotional habits
  3. The quality of your other relationships
  4. Whether you see coaching as stupid or as an investment

4. Is one relationship coach as good as another?
Relationship coaches vary. Some are very religious, some New Age and some very technical. Maybe check a coach's experience and results. Check their beliefs and biases. Who do you feel that you can you trust? Who is homophobic? Who may try to seduce your partner?

Many young, single people call themselves "partnership coaches" or "dating experts" etc, although they have minimal experience in committed partnership or parenthood. After a few questions they may suggest that you split! That's what they would do!

Good coaches walk their talk - others just mumble their stumble!

5. How can our relationship coaching benefit you?
A good coach can help you recognize the roots of your problems, clarify your goals, improve your skills, change your beliefs, resolve your conflicts, manage your transferences, solve your entanglements and encourage your decisions.

An experienced helping professional can warn you of consequences. Many people are fixated on or emotionally enmeshed with a parent, and clarifying and resolving these relationships can trigger changes in life direction!

6. Is our quality relationship coaching a wise investment?
Some helping professionals seem obsessed with techniques and expect to bend people to fit their ideas. They over-use simple questions and cannot untangle complex relationship problems. Young, single people may not appreciate the challenges of long-term partnership or the conflicts of parenting.

You can best benefit from people who are trained and experienced in many  relationship problems - including couple and family counseling, and team coaching.

7. What problems can a relationship counselor help you resolve?
Besides evaluating your goals and blocks, we help people clarify:

  1. Relationships with past partners
  2. Codependence and emotional incest
  3. Issues about morals, ethics and integrity
  4. Relationship decisions, fights and conflicts
  5. Relationship diagnosis: planning and skill deficiencies
  6. Poor quality advice (from parents, friends, teachers, etc)
  7. Family and societal influences (limitations on happiness)

Find a psychologist with experience ... many only have papers.

Few people are taught healthy relationship skills at school, and few parents are wonderful role models for happy partnership. If you have problems in creating or maintaining healthy relationships - consider benefiting from our relationship coaching.

We help people manage emotional problems, end self-sabotage, change unwanted habits and build healthy relationships. Contact us to turn your life around.

Online Relationship Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers, All rights reserved 2009-2018

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
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For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

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Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email