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Interview with Martyn
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Solutions: Grief, Loss & Emotional Outbursts
Life Coaching for Hope & Renewal Martyn Carruthers

Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

We can help you untangle your emotions and reclaim your life.

From Grief & Loss ... to Hope & Renewal

Grief is a reaction to loss that can damage your life.

Sooner or later we will lose important things ... and important people. A serious illness, an unfortunate accident, a poor investment ... or mental skill. Bad things can happen to good people and bad things can happen to people we love.

A significant loss can trigger our overwhelming emotions, disrupt our lives and cause lasting problems. Our mental and physical resources are not infinite. As we age we lose our youth, our health, our family members and our friends. Before our bodies die, many of us will suffer and grieve.

Heavy emotions often accompany and follow the loss of beloved people, the a precious pet, or a miscarriage or abortion. If an important person dies or leaves you, your grief may be intense. We can help you, at your own speed, reclaim your life.

You may always remember what you have lost ... important people, your lifestyle or your treasured possessions. You won't forget them easily. We can help you remember your past and the people in your life and appreciate them, with respect. We can help you forgive them ... and forgive yourself.

Conspiracies of Silence

Although few people know when they will die, avoiding this topic may have unpleasant consequences. Healthy people often talk about their loss with family and friends. But if you avoid talking about your losses - you probably try to keep it all inside.

If you have little contact with people, you may be unable to talk about your feelings. Such people may try to medicate their emotions away, perhaps sliding into addictions or endlessly distracting themselves with television, books or computers etc.

Does hope seem like a mirage? Each loss can bring growth, insights, hope and understanding. We can help you plan ahead, even when you're experiencing grief. We can help you focus on renewal. We can help you deal with any emotional outbursts.

Loved Ones who Die: Grieving Loss & Bereavement

Although you may grieve the loss of a home or a car, your greatest grief may concern the loss of important people - people with whom you shared life experiences. Shared life experience is often more important than whether or not you liked a person. And there are many forms of loss ...

  1. Loss of a family member - a parent or sibling ... or a mentor
  2. Loss of a friend - someone you could share life experiences with
  3. Loss of a colleague - someone you worked with
  4. Loss of a partner - someone with whom you shared life
  5. Loss of a child - someone you created or adopted ... or a pet
  6. Loss of a community - a school, university, neighborhood or a workplace

There is no way to truly replace missing parents, although many people seek substitutes. There are no simple solutions for people who feel abandoned or deserted by the people they most loved. Yet life can still be good. Counseling may be helpful for children, but more often children need gentle honesty and the assurance that they will be loved and cared for.

Grief, Recovery and Life Coaching

After your acute stage of grief, whether about the loss of a person, a job or a lifestyle, your family and friends may withdraw their support. If you feel alone with your loss, you can contact us for a safe space in which you can redesign or rebuild your life.

Coping with a death in the family, the loss of a career or a major lifestyle change are some common challenges. We can help you care for yourself while providing you with compassionate emotional support.

Many people suffer prolonged terminal illnesses, progressive memory loss, or are kept alive by medical technology. Their friends and family members may begin grieving long before the inevitable loss.

We can talk to you objectively and support you through the changes you choose and we can help you choose changes you may want to make. We can help most people ...

  •  rebuild their lives
  •  regain perspective
  •  manage their emotions
  •  find additional resources
  •  make sense of their experiences

Is a broken partnership like a death in the family?
See Relationship Breakdown.

Your Next Steps?

Your next steps depend on your desires and goals. Do you want another partner, another child or another workplace? How can we help you? Do you want to:

  • Explore and select the next steps of your life path?
  • Develop a hopeful, future-oriented perspective?
  • Find and focus on a meaningful life project?
  • Learn how to manage your emotions?
  • Or maybe you have a better idea?

People often ask us how they can make things better for bereaved people, They often say that they feel helpless watching people they love cry or be depressed. Although we have no magical formulas, we can help make grief a learning opportunity. Grief can motivate people to redefine their beliefs, values and sense of life. Sometimes grief helps people wake up - and live.

Anticipate the phases of grief. While time can be a great healer, and while friends and family may provide support, it is often difficult for grieving people to express their thoughts and feelings clearly while they are adjusting to their loss.

Many dying and grieving people, and those close to them:

  1. suffer symptoms of shock and/or denial
  2. experience emotional and/or physical pain
  3. age regress - they sound or act like resourceless children

Sharing thoughts and feelings, whether by simply talking about them or by writing an obituary, provides ways to gain insights, a sense of completion and to seek new opportunities for happiness. We can help you through this.

We can help you express your emotions and explore your loss. We coach, guide and encourage survivors to stay connected to their worlds.

We also provide end of life counseling. We assist dying people, their partners and families deal with the end of life. We help people of all ages communicate and share their disappointments, expectations and emotions about the end of their lives.

Love is bigger than life and death. Do you want to deal with grief and loss?

Online Coaching, Relationship Counseling & Systemic Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright 2001-2018 by Martyn Carruthers. All rights reserved.

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention or

For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email