Do you want to explore how your emotions influence your
with your family, friends, co-workers and community?
Understanding relationship ecology can change your life!
Coaching & Counseling in Human Systems
Do you want to explore and use higher
orders of cognition -
systemic thinking and
We offer coaching, counseling and training on solving emotional, behavioral and relationship
When you are with other people, do you act differently than when you
are alone? Do you act differently in different types of relationships?
You are following rules that are semi-conscious at best. Much human behavior
that may seem irrational or even insane can be both obvious and
predictable when you know those rules.
Do you sometimes act like a parent to people who are not related to you? Or
like a child? Do you sometimes act like
a manager - with your family? Do you sometimes want time away from
the people whom you love most?
Perceiving relationships from a systems perspective allows
significant changes (paradigm shifts) in the way helping professionals
diagnose and resolve mental health problems. A systemic diagnosis
can expose underlying dynamics which, if not resolved, can be expressed
as misery, disease, accidents and criminal behavior.
Our systems coaching is for people who wish to improve
their relationship ecology - the appropriateness of the
consequences of their actions upon their relationships.
Successful relationship ecology leads
to a sense of wellbeing and connectedness.
Systems Coaching & Relationship Ecology
Human systems are people who attempt to accomplish
goals together. Many human systems include smaller groups that
strive to achieve their own goals at the expense of the larger
systems. (E.g.: an overly close relationship between a
mother and son can
alienate the son's father and disrupt the son's life ...
perhaps for decades).
If human systems are perceived in terms of hierarchies
and boundaries - then relationship problems will show similar hierarchies and
boundaries. Sub-groups may sacrifice their members in the service of
their goals - and some members may condemn or ignore systemic goals in
favor of more selfish perspectives.
Some Systemic Goals
||Increase genetic diversity
||Provide regions with national
||Provide communities with leadership
||Provide communities with doctrinal
||Provide communities with
||Provide communities with support
||Provide families with security and
||Knowledge & skills
||Provide children with skills for adulthood
||Provide children with skills for
||Protect body and create babies
Changing Human Systems
We use systems theories as a basis for identifying and
interpreting relationship habits and for predicting the
consequences to couples, families, teams and communities.
A family, team or community can include wonderful people who may
operate well by themselves but do not integrate well. A systemic coach
can recognize the systemic functions of a family, team or
community members, and their interrelations, and can recognize the patterns of interaction. We focus on provoking
behaviors that determine future goals - rather than just reacting to
Systems Theory, Systems Analysis & Systems Coaching
Systems theory, systems analysis and systems thinking
are often ignored by helping professionals
who prefer statistical models. Systems thinking helps people view
the world, including its organizations, from a perspective of structures and
patterns, rather than events. Our systems
analysis can identify the (often obscure) causes of problems and
how to change relationships ecologically ... so that all members can benefit.
Systemic Examples of Relationship Ecology
Family behavior depends on its entire system (not
just the sum of its parts). A family structure determines its member's
behavior, which determine family events. Too often, people only see
and respond to events, and miss the broader
scheme exposed by relationship diagnosis.
Too often in families and workgroups (and in training programs),
people think that they can break up the system and only deal
with its individual members; or that they can focus on one topic
(e.g. performance) independent from other topics (e.g. team goals).
There appear to be optimum sizes for each type of human system. A larger system may break itself
into sub-systems to achieve stability. Pre-systemic models
(e.g. esoteric or statistical models) used
to fix human systems may hasten their disintegration.
(Consider the fixes tried as Russian communism disintegrated.)
If you consider families as examples of human systems, the principles include:
- Family systems seek balance with their environments
- Family systems are sub-systems of many larger systems
- Family systems have sub-systems, borders and limits to growth
- Family systems have optimum sizes (in balance
with their environments)
A family may experience the same problems repeatedly over time. Family members typically recognize the
patterns of behaviors, rather than their underlying dynamics.
It may be against unspoken family
rules to know too much about family rules ...
and you may know less about your family dynamics than about other families.
This opens the fascinating topic of taboo beliefs.
Systemic Family Behavior
Families have predictable patterns of interactions
(cultural and family traditions) that are passed and replicated across
generations. Family interactions may modify but rarely end such
cross-generational entanglements. External observation and assistance
is often needed - which we can provide.
Each family member affects all family members. Parental moods
and behavior affect children in predictable ways. Some solutions create
new problems - and some solutions are worse than the problems. We seek solutions that benefit all members.
Systemic Coaching & Quantum Thinking
We incorporate concepts from quantum physics - for example
from Dr Enrico Fermi (the absence of a part describes
that part), Dr Erwin Schrödinger (all possibilities
exist until a system is observed), Dr Werner Heisenberg
(observation changes whatever is being observed), Dr Albert
Einstein (change is relative to an observer).
You do not know what all members of a human system are doing NOW.
You know what they were doing - and then only
from some temporal and perceptual position. Attempts to determine what
everybody is doing NOW will change what everybody is doing now!
Violation of relationship rules in human systems can lead to
dysfunctional behavior - and to tragedy in subsequent generations.
Cross-generational entanglements underlie many personal and
professional problems. Restoring balance and harmony to a family system
or management team can manage physical symptoms of its members,
not only emotional and mental suffering. See
Family systems create problems - and problems
also recreate family systems. Do the problems exist independently
of an observer who defines them? We coach people to change their
family structure and systemic rules, rather than attempting to change
individual compensation behavior.
We help people live lives that make sense.
Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers
All rights reserved.