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Understand Identification & Identity Loss

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Identification & Identity Loss Revealed

Identification is normal human behavior. You may identify with your occupation, with your clothes and with your country. You may identify with family members, friends or mentors. You may identify with your beliefs, with your emotions and with your ideas. Identifications have strong consequences. You may live, and you may die, defending your identifications.

Temporary identification is a common, everyday human experience. You may imagine what other people (role models) might feel and how they may act. You may do this habitually, perhaps feeling well if someone describes a joyous occasion, and feeling ill if someone describes an accident or a disease.

You can identify with almost anybody, although you will find that the duration and emotional intensity vary. At a cinema you might identify with an actor, and feel unusual emotions during the film. If you identify with an organization, you may hide your values while conforming with the organization.

The extent to which you identify with whatever is not-you, is the extent to which you lose access to your own core identity. This is referred to as Identity Loss in systemic coaching.

If you identify with another family member as a child, you may remain identified for your lifetime, unknowingly and unconsciously expressing emotions that are more appropriate to your role model.

Soulwork coach training trains motivated and responsible people to provide solutions for long-term identification (taught in Soulwork 4 Training). We recommend (but do not require) that participants of Soulwork 4 have practical experience in systemic relationship diagnosis and guilt (taught in Soulwork 1 Training), goal definition and planning (taught in Soulwork 2 Training) and interactive metaphors and integrity (taught in Soulwork 3).

Training in coaching people with contextual identity loss (relationship bonds) is provided in Soulwork 5, and coaching people who suffer from trauma and PTSD is covered in Soulwork 6.

[ Systemic Coach Training ] [ Trauma & PTSD ] [ Emotional Incest ]

Chronic Identity Loss

Extreme identification is sometimes called spirit possession, in which the role model (often a family member) is perceived as an esoteric entity or presence. Sometimes identification is diagnosed or labeled as schizophrenia or multiple personality syndrome etc, and medicated with psychoactive drugs.

If you are chronically identified, you live in an endless trance. You have little contact with your emotions, beliefs and thoughts. Your own identity may be lost, and you may unknowingly act in ways that are more appropriate for your (unconscious) role model. Although you may be unable to explain your behavior, or you offer peculiar justifications, much of your behavior is predictable.

The most common identifications are with family members - especially those who died prematurely (especially following abortion, murder or suicide) or who were perceived as victims of other family members.

Chronic identification may be called brainwashing. Students are expected to identify with their school sport teams. Residents are expected to identify with their regions and immigrants are expected to identify with a new country's values. Cults, religions and military organizations may create conditions which provoke psychotic identification - even to previously despised beliefs and values.

Existential or chronic identification is a form of identity loss. Other common forms of identity loss are Lost Identity and Identity Conflict. Soulwork systemic coaching provides ways to regain your basic or natural identity.

[ Possession ] [ Exit Coaching ] [ Psych Ops ] [ Soul Cult? ]

Advantages of Identity Loss

Identity loss follows systemic rules, and can be recognized with systemic diagnosis.

• Victim identified people express chronic anger, suspicion and rage
• Dead person identified people express chronic sadness and melancholy
• Hero identified people express chronic fear and anxiety

People who are victim identified are often generally suspicious and may enjoy tormenting people. A dead person identified person is often generally melancholy and may be obsessed with death, and a hero identified person is generally fearful and anxious about any type of change. Sometimes these basic identifications are mixed - for example, "identification with a dead victim" may occur following abortion.

Lost Identity and Identity Conflict are similar to Identification. Lost Identity refers to chronic dissociated behavior (think of a person solving a complex mental problem) and Identity Conflict refers to chronic bi-polar behavior swings (think of classic "split personality).

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), lupus and bipolar syndrome are examples of sets of symptoms that are often related to identity loss. See Chronic Fatigue, Lupus and Bipolar Syndrome.

Have you lost identity?

A Soulwork systemic coach can elicit your relationship matrix and show who has identified with whom, when and why; and offer effective solutions. Here are a quick test. If you suffer from identity loss, you may become emotional or trance-like if asked "What do you really want?" An identified person:

• Cannot specify a timed goal
• Avoids finishing projects
• Offers endless justifications
• Expresses strong and inappropriate emotions
• Describes "fulfillment" as the fulfillment described by a role model
• Is often depressed - life does not make sense
• May seek endless distractions and addictions

Many families, teams and organizations suffer chains of identifications, in which the emotional entanglement of each identified member forms a new systemic identification in each subsequent generation. Systemic coaching offers unique solutions to help human systems resolve this.

Common toxic identifications are people who have identified with a dead ancestor - often following a suicide; or with a dead sibling - often following an abortion or suicide. The resulting dead person identification can be resolved during systemic coaching.

[ Change your Personality ]

Dissolve Identification with Systemic Coaching

Soulwork Systemic Coaching can help you find relief from identity loss, identification or relationship entanglements. Soulwork offers you an integrated system of health coaching, systemic coaching. Soulwork can help you resolve complex relationship and emotional problems.

[ Soulwork - A Medical Doctor's Review ] [ Soulwork Training ]

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© Martyn Carruthers, December 1999, 2005