Systemic Management Coaching Systemic Solutions Relationship Management Systemic Coach Training

 

TRAINING  &  COACHING  for  MANAGERS & LEADERS

Case Histories

Check your Spelling

Home

Interview
Disclaimer
Disclosure

Personals

Accelerated Learning
Chaos Theory
Clear Communication
Coaching Contracts
Coaching Philosophy
Code of Conduct
Compliance & Abuse
Conflict Resolution
Partnership
Dependence
Difficult Employees
Downsizing
Emotional Intelligence
Evaluate Partnership
Exit Coaching
Expert Modeling
Fees & Finances
Goals & Goalwork
Human Consciousness
Human Systems
Humor in Coaching
Individual Coaching
Knowledge Mgment
Mentorship
Organize Training
Privacy
Private Coaching
Psych-Ops
Refugees
Select a Coach
Select Clients
Single Parents
Soul at Work
Systemic Training
Specialty Coaching
Stress Relief
Systemic Education
Systems Theory
Systemic Coaching
Training Abuse
Verbal Aikido
What is Coaching?
What Coaching costs

Systemic Solutions for Incest

Systemic Coaching ... Systemic Coach Training

We present interactive seminars and demonstration-rich workshops on systemic coaching, emotional incest, resolving family chaos and relationship bonds. Email us if you are interested in organizing a workshop in your area.

Incest & Resolution

Sigmund Freud's early papers on the origins of hysteria emphasized childhood seduction and incest. Freud later insisted that many reports of incest were fantasies - and this revision may have helped suppress public awareness of the prevalence and significance of childhood incest.

Freud wrote that every boy has an Oedipus Complex that greatly affects his adult life. He claimed that every boy represses his sexual desire for his mother and his jealousy toward his father. Freud wrote that a boy with an Oedipus Complex experiences emotional conflicts. This may be Freud's autobiography, or a facet of Central European culture at Freud's time. We find this in families where mothers are confused between Sons and Lovers.

[ Emotional Incest ] [ Mothers & Sons ] [ Fathers & Daughters ]

Sexual Abuse & Identity Loss

Although many therapists may "... lack the ability to help incest victims because they have never been trained to deal with the issue. In fact, they have been trained to avoid it" (Herman, 1981), there are ways to counter the effects of childhood sexual abuse. But most incest resolution emphasizes toxic, abusive or neglectful parenting - perhaps hoping that blaming or punishing parents solves problems.

More elegant choices include dissolving the relationship demands that result in identity loss, trauma and relationship bonds that may result from sexual abuse. Systemic coaching offers these skills.

What Really Happened?

Whatever the "historical truth" of an experience', your memories are "remembered truth". But memory can be distorted. As you interpret and summarize your memories, you may recover information which validates and enhances your earlier versions of your remembered truth. Your remembered truths can distort historical truths - and lead to false diagnosis of childhood sexual abuse - and wrongful blame of family members as sexual offenders.

Your memory need not diminish with time; it can grow and expand. Each time you recall some event you reconstruct it - and your memory changes with each reconstruction, depending on your current emotions and your perception of what was possible.

Despite the prevalence of abuse, depression, marital conflicts and dysfunctional families, some therapists attribute identity loss exclusively to assumed histories of incest. If you accept the role of a passive victim to a toxic history, you may be unable see yourself as a competent adult, or as an active participant in your own life.

My therapist said that I was sexually molested although I was not. She said I was repressing bad memories, but my family were good. My father was devoted to me and would never hurt me, but my therapist tried to make me fantasize sex with him. She would say things like "I know you were molested because you have the symptoms of adults who were molested as children - I have them too." PT London UK

[ Client Abuse ] [ Abusive Relationships ] [ Codependence ]

Symptoms of Incest: Identity Loss

Identity Loss can originate during abandonment or betrayal by important people. If you suffer from identity loss, you may become emotional or trance-like under stress. Further, you ...

  • cannot specify timed goals
  • avoid finishing projects
  • offer endless justifications
  • express strong and inappropriate emotions
  • may be depressed - life does not make sense
  • may seek distractions in obsessions and addictions

Although Soulwork coaching offers systemic diagnosis and systemic solutions for relationship problems, including emotional and physical incest, we do not cater to people who prefer to remain victims. We help motivated, responsible people to resolve their conflicts and relationship bonds, and to recover their integrity and lost resources.

Resolution of Incest

Soulwork Systemic Coaching helps you find rapid relief if you suffer from the consequences of emotional or physical incest. Soulwork offers you an integrated system of systemic and therapeutic coaching. Soulwork can help you resolve many relationship problems.

  1. Evaluate and clarify relationship systems & entanglements
  2. How to define goals, resolve objections & plan for success
  3. End self-criticism & inner conflict to recover integrity
  4. How to recover identity loss; missing qualities, expertise and skills
  5. How to dissolve relationship bonds for healthy relationships
  6. Dissolve emotional trauma and rebuild motivation
  7. Dissolve mentor damage and find inspirational mentorship
  8. Learn friendship and life skills
  9. Learn to cooperate in teams
  10. Learn partnership and parenthood skills

Relationship Coaching can help you live with integrity. Then you can select and fulfill important goals that express your deepest values. The you can consider “How do you want to fulfill your life?

[ Soulwork - A Medical Doctor's Review ]

Systemic Coaching ... Systemic Coach Training

Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? We can train you to coach individuals, partners and teams to resolve emotional, educational and relationship challenges.

Workshops Systemic Coach Training
Soulwork 1 Understand relationship systems & deal with guilt
Soulwork 2 How to define goals, resolve objections & plan for success
Soulwork 3 End self-criticism & inner conflict to recover integrity
Soulwork 4 How to recover identity loss; missing qualities, expertise and skills
Soulwork 5 How to dissolve relationship bonds for healthy relationships
Soulwork 6 Dissolve emotional trauma and rebuild motivation
Soulwork 7 How to  end mentor damage & find inspirational mentorship
Soulwork 8 Coach couples and partners simultaneously
Soulwork 9 Coach teams and team leaders simultaneously
Soulwork 10 Coach whole families simultaneously

[ Home ] [ Emergency ] [ Strategic Planning ] [ Management Training ] [ Humor ] [ Fees ] [ Privacy ]

Systemic Coaching ... Systemic Coach Training ... Your Next Step

  • For more information about Systemic Solutions email: Systemic Solutions for Relationship Management and Strategic Planning

  • Click here for: Home-Study Program in Systemic Coaching

  • Click here for: Individual, couple & family Systemic Coaching

  • All material on this website is copyright © 2001-2006 by Martyn Carruthers. All rights reserved. Commercial use is prohibited. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium is permitted with the express written permission of Martyn Carruthers. This material may be freely linked to by other electronic text. For more information, contact Jan Sikorski at +48 (22) 733 0357