We present interactive seminars and
demonstration-rich workshops on systemic coaching, emotional incest,
resolving family chaos and relationship bonds. Email us if you are
interested in organizing a workshop in your area.
Incest & Resolution
Sigmund Freud's early
papers on the origins of hysteria emphasized childhood seduction and
incest. Freud later insisted that many reports of incest were fantasies
- and this revision may have helped suppress public awareness of the
prevalence and significance of childhood incest.
Freud wrote that every boy has an Oedipus Complex that
greatly affects his adult life. He claimed that every boy represses his
sexual desire for his mother and his jealousy toward his father. Freud wrote
that a boy with an Oedipus Complex experiences emotional
conflicts. This may be Freud's autobiography, or a facet of Central European
culture at Freud's time. We find this in families where mothers
are confused between Sons and Lovers.
Emotional Incest .
Mothers & Sons .
Fathers & Daughters
Sexual Abuse & Identity Loss
Although many therapists may "... lack the ability to
help incest victims because they have never been trained to deal with
the issue. In fact, they have been trained to avoid it"
(Herman, 1981), there are ways to counter the effects of childhood
sexual abuse. But most incest resolution emphasizes toxic, abusive
or neglectful parenting
- perhaps hoping that blaming or punishing parents solves problems.
More elegant choices include dissolving the
relationship demands that result in identity
loss, trauma and relationship bonds that may result from sexual abuse.
Systemic coaching offers these skills.
What Really Happened?
Whatever the "historical truth" of an experience',
your memories are "remembered truth".
But memory can be distorted. As you interpret and summarize your
memories, you may recover information which validates
and enhances your earlier versions of your remembered truth. Your
remembered truths can distort historical truths - and lead to false diagnosis
of childhood sexual abuse -
and wrongful blame of family members as sexual offenders.
Your memory need not diminish with time; it can grow
and expand. Each time you recall some event you reconstruct it - and
your memory changes with each reconstruction, depending on your current
emotions and your perception of what was possible.
Despite the prevalence of abuse, depression, marital conflicts
and dysfunctional families, some therapists attribute identity loss
exclusively to assumed histories of incest. If you accept the role of a
passive victim to a toxic history, you may be unable see yourself as
a competent adult, or as an active participant in your own life.
My therapist said that I was sexually molested although I was
not. She said I was repressing bad memories, but my family were good. My father
was devoted to me and would never hurt me, but
my therapist tried to make me fantasize sex with him. She would say things
like "I know you were molested because you have the symptoms of adults who
were molested as children - I have them too." PT London UK
Abuse . Abusive Relationships
Symptoms of Incest: Identity Loss
Identity Loss can originate during abandonment
or betrayal by important people. If you suffer from identity loss, you
may become emotional or trance-like under stress.
Further, you ...
- cannot specify timed goals
- avoid finishing projects
- offer endless justifications
- express strong and inappropriate emotions
- may be depressed - life does not make sense
- may seek distractions in obsessions and addictions
Although Soulwork coaching offers systemic
diagnosis and systemic solutions for relationship problems, including
emotional and physical incest, we do not cater to people who prefer to
remain victims. We help motivated, responsible people to resolve
their conflicts and relationship bonds, and to recover their
integrity and lost resources.
Resolution of Incest
Soulwork Systemic Coaching helps you find rapid relief if you
suffer from the consequences of emotional or physical incest.
Soulwork offers you an integrated system of systemic and therapeutic
coaching. Soulwork can help you resolve many relationship problems.
- Evaluate and clarify relationship systems & entanglements
- How to define goals, resolve objections & plan for success
- End self-criticism & inner conflict to recover integrity
- How to recover identity loss; missing qualities, expertise and skills
- How to dissolve relationship bonds for healthy relationships
- Dissolve emotional trauma and rebuild motivation
- Dissolve mentor damage and find inspirational mentorship
- Learn friendship and life skills
- Learn to cooperate in teams
- Learn partnership and parenthood skills
Relationship Coaching can help you live with integrity.
Then you can select and fulfill important goals that express your
deepest values. The you can consider “How do you want to fulfill your life?”
A Medical Doctor's Review
Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? We can train you to coach individuals, partners and teams to resolve
emotional, educational and relationship challenges.