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Online Solutions for Fertility & Infertility
Preconceptions and Conceptions © Martyn Carruthers

Online Life Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

We offer coaching, seminars and workshops on fertility, parenthood,
resolving family problems and other relationship issues.

Fertility Issues

Some couples cannot conceive a child, and some women cannot carry a child to term. About a third of infertility cases have identifiable causes in the male, about a third have causes in the female, and the rest due to conditions that could not be identified.

Our online fertility coaching is for mature, motivated adults.

The chance of conception in any given month is about 1 in 5 for sexually active, fertile couples. Many doctors will not diagnose infertility until a year of regular unprotected intercourse has not resulted in pregnancy. If a medical diagnosis of infertility is made, examinations, tests, and medical histories are used to identify a physical cause.

We help people manage emotional and relationship problems that may be depressing or influencing their ability to create babies.


There are many steps to conceiving a child. A man's fertility is often tested first, to determine the quantity and health of sperm (for example, do the sperm have tails and are they active?)

Women undergo a physical examination, laboratory and imaging tests to seek problems that may cause infertility. Testing in women may include exploratory surgery or laparoscopy, in which a fiber-optic tool is inserted through an incision to inspect the reproductive system.

A frequent cause of infertility in women is abnormal ovulation. Normally one egg is released each month under the influence of several hormones. If any hormones are absent, ovulation will occur irregularly, or not at all.

Ultrasound may also reveal structural or functional problems such as endometriosis, in which cells from the uterus lining are in patches and cysts. Tests may reveal irregular ovulation or dysfunctional eggs.


A frequent cause of infertility in men is low sperm count. Men may have swollen veins around the testis (organ that produces sperm). The sperm may contain the wrong number of chromosomes, or it may have been stored too long. The man may not ejaculate normally, or he may have diabetes.

Female Infertility Male Infertility
  • Abnormal ovulation (25%)
  • Blocked fallopian tubes (35%)
  • Dysfunctional eggs
  • Thick cervical mucus
  • Endometriosis
  • Venereal diseases
  • Low sperm count
  • Swollen veins around testes
  • Sperm cannot move properly
  • Blocked vas deferens
  • Prostate disease
  • Untreated diabetes

Both men and women require sufficient levels of certain hormones for conception and birth to occur; and the absence of these hormones will prevent conception or healthy birth. While many hormones can be administered medically, it appears that these hormones can be regulated by the emotions of the men and women. This implies that the quality of their relationships and their history of trauma can affect their ability to become parents.


Ovulation problems can be treated with hormones and fertility drugs to induce ovulation in women whose sex hormones are not functioning normally.

Other possibilities include assisted reproductive technology (ART). The best known is in vitro fertilization (IVF), which involves the mixing of sperm and egg in a laboratory to trigger fertilization. After fertilization, the fertilized egg is allowed to develop outside the body and is then introduced into the woman’s uterus. After placement in the uterus, a zygote should follow the course of pregnancy.

Some people with psychosomatic infertility may benefit from our relationship coaching. Certain family trauma, relationship problems or family enmeshments can effectively prevent some women or couples from having, or even wanting, children. Two examples of entanglement are the identification of a person with a dead person or identification with a victim. We often manage these entanglements by recourse to a stable resource state that we call integrity or soul.

Family Entanglements

A family is a complex system with a genetic imperative to create and raise babies to independence. For most people, sense of life includes raising something to independence. If not babies, this something can be pets, projects and businesses.

Family enmeshments or emotional entanglements can pass toxic family habits to the next generation. Toxic habits are not genetic diseases, although the two may be confused. In a toxic family habit there is no DNA involvement. Our systemic diagnosis can often predict who in the next generation of children will express symptoms associated with a specific entanglement.

If you are entangled, you may feel that you control or are controlled
by somebody. The consequences of entanglement are
not remedied by good intentions.

Some entanglements that seem to be often connected with infertility are Dead Person Identification, Relationship Bonds, Vanishing Twins and love for a past partner.

Identifications . Relationship Bonds . Vanishing Twins . Past Partner

Identification with a Dead Person

If a person dies young, there will be shock throughout that person's family. If the person dies in an accident, from a diagnosed disease or as a hero, the family can often grieve and relax. If a person dies as a result of a deliberate action, especially by another family member or by suicide, the shock can be intense and long-lasting, and affect to subsequent generations. The two most common causes of dead person identification seem to be suicide and abortion.

If you are identified, you may feel something or somebody in or close to you that may seem to direct your behavior. You may feel that you are specially guided or protected, but you may be unable to state a well-formed goal.

Suicide and abortion can cause intense feelings of guilt in a family. If one family member carries the burden of guilt, that person may identify with the dead person, typically while a young child. As an identified child reaches adolescence and becomes available for partnership and parenthood, the symptoms associated with identification usually become more pronounced.

If you have identified with a dead person, you may feel sad and express melancholy. You may be especially sensitive to relationships and consequences of actions. You may feel attracted to cemeteries, battlefields, concentration camps - places where people suffered and died.

Sexual Issues . Sexual Solutions . Sexual Abuse

The consequences of dead person identification often include that children die, either as a miscarriage, stillbirth or cot death (crib death). To avoid this trauma, it seems that a person may unconsciously avoid becoming a parent, unconsciously regulating hormone production to prevent conception.

Relationship Bonds

Relationship bonds refer to shared beliefs about identity, and may be perceived as dark shapes or unpleasant feelings in or close to the body. Toxic relationship bonds may prevent the happiness of committed partnership, sexual pleasure and parenthood.

During your coaching I was shocked to "see" a black knife in my womb ...
It was connected with my father, who always told me that he never wanted children, and that he didn't want me to waste my life being a mother.

Please consult a physician about any opinions about fertility,
medical symptoms or medical conditions.

Other entanglements and issues that may affect fertility are relationship conflicts, relationship stress, homosexuality or a revulsion against sexual contact, possibly following sexual abuse. Contact us to explore solutions.

Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

 Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2004-2018
All rights reserved

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For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


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Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email