We offer coaching, seminars and
workshops on fertility, parenthood,
resolving family problems and
other relationship issues.
Some couples cannot conceive a child, and some women cannot
carry a child to term. About a third of infertility cases have
identifiable causes in the male, about a third have causes in
the female, and the rest due to conditions that could not be identified.
Our online fertility coaching is for mature,
The chance of conception in any given month is about 1 in
5 for sexually active, fertile couples. Many doctors will not
diagnose infertility until a year of regular unprotected
intercourse has not resulted in pregnancy. If a medical diagnosis
of infertility is made, examinations, tests, and medical
histories are used to identify a physical cause.
We help people manage emotional and relationship problems
that may be depressing or influencing their ability to create
There are many steps to conceiving a child. A man's fertility
is often tested first, to determine the quantity and health of
sperm (for example, do the sperm have tails and are they active?)
Women undergo a physical examination, laboratory and imaging
tests to seek problems that may cause infertility. Testing in women may include
exploratory surgery or laparoscopy, in which a fiber-optic tool is
inserted through an incision to inspect the reproductive system.
cause of infertility in women is abnormal ovulation. Normally one egg
is released each month under the influence of several hormones. If any
hormones are absent, ovulation will occur irregularly, or not at all.
Ultrasound may also reveal structural or functional problems
such as endometriosis, in which cells from the uterus lining are in
patches and cysts. Tests may reveal irregular ovulation or
A frequent cause of infertility in men is low sperm
count. Men may have swollen veins around the testis (organ that
produces sperm). The sperm may contain the wrong number of
chromosomes, or it may have been stored too long. The
man may not ejaculate normally, or he may have diabetes.
- Abnormal ovulation (25%)
- Blocked fallopian tubes (35%)
- Dysfunctional eggs
- Thick cervical mucus
- Venereal diseases
- Low sperm count
- Swollen veins around testes
- Sperm cannot move properly
- Blocked vas deferens
- Prostate disease
- Untreated diabetes
Both men and women require sufficient levels of
certain hormones for conception and birth to occur; and the absence
of these hormones will prevent conception or healthy birth. While many
hormones can be administered medically, it appears that these hormones
can be regulated by the emotions of the men and women. This implies that
the quality of their relationships and their history of trauma can
affect their ability to become parents.
Ovulation problems can be treated with hormones and
fertility drugs to induce ovulation in women whose sex hormones
are not functioning normally.
Other possibilities include assisted reproductive technology
(ART). The best known is in vitro fertilization
(IVF), which involves the mixing of sperm and egg in a laboratory to
trigger fertilization. After fertilization, the fertilized egg is
allowed to develop outside the body and is then introduced into the
woman’s uterus. After placement in the uterus, a zygote should follow the
course of pregnancy.
Some people with psychosomatic infertility may
benefit from our relationship coaching. Certain family trauma,
relationship problems or family enmeshments can
effectively prevent some women or couples from having, or even wanting,
children. Two examples of entanglement are the identification of a person
with a dead person or identification with a victim. We often manage these
entanglements by recourse to a stable
resource state that we call integrity or soul.
A family is a complex system with a genetic imperative to
create and raise babies to independence. For most people, sense of life
includes raising something to independence. If not babies,
this something can be pets, projects and businesses.
Family enmeshments or emotional entanglements can pass toxic
family habits to the next generation. Toxic habits are not genetic diseases,
although the two may be confused. In a toxic family habit there is no DNA
involvement. Our systemic diagnosis can often predict who in the next
generation of children will express symptoms associated with a specific
If you are entangled,
you may feel that you control or are controlled
The consequences of entanglement are
not remedied by good intentions.
Some entanglements that seem to be often connected
with infertility are Dead Person Identification,
Relationship Bonds, Vanishing Twins
and love for a past partner.
Identifications . Relationship Bonds
. Vanishing Twins
. Past Partner
Identification with a Dead Person
If a person dies young, there will be shock throughout that
person's family. If the person dies in an accident, from a diagnosed disease
or as a hero, the family can often grieve and relax. If a person dies as a
result of a deliberate action, especially by another family member or by
suicide, the shock can be intense and long-lasting, and affect to subsequent
generations. The two most common causes of dead person identification seem to
be suicide and abortion.
If you are identified, you may feel
something or somebody in or close to you that may seem to direct your
behavior. You may feel that you are specially guided or protected, but
you may be unable to state a well-formed goal.
Suicide and abortion can cause intense
feelings of guilt in a family. If one family member carries
the burden of guilt, that person may identify with the dead
person, typically while a young child. As an identified child reaches
adolescence and becomes available for partnership and parenthood, the
symptoms associated with identification usually become more pronounced.
If you have identified with a dead person, you may
feel sad and express melancholy. You may be especially sensitive to
relationships and consequences of actions. You may feel attracted to
cemeteries, battlefields, concentration camps - places where people
suffered and died.
Issues . Sexual Solutions
. Sexual Abuse
The consequences of dead person identification often
include that children die, either as a miscarriage, stillbirth or cot
death (crib death). To avoid this trauma, it seems that a person
may unconsciously avoid becoming a parent, unconsciously regulating
hormone production to prevent conception.
Relationship bonds refer to shared beliefs about
identity, and may be perceived as dark shapes or unpleasant feelings in
or close to the body. Toxic relationship bonds may prevent the happiness
of committed partnership, sexual pleasure and parenthood.
During your coaching I was
shocked to "see" a black knife in my womb ...
It was connected with my father, who always told me that he
never wanted children, and that he didn't want me to waste my
life being a mother.
Please consult a physician about any opinions about
medical symptoms or medical conditions.
Other entanglements and issues that may affect fertility are
relationship conflicts, relationship stress, homosexuality or a
revulsion against sexual contact, possibly following sexual abuse. Contact us to
Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy
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Martyn Carruthers 2004-2018
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