We can help you understand and manage
negative emotions and change toxic family traditions.
If you will allow yourself to be happier than your parents!
When Western philosophy started in ancient Greece,
about 2300 years ago, Aristotle wrote that the highest form of knowledge is
insight - because it's the only knowledge which leads to development
- and true happiness.
Aristotle wrote that many people are unhappy because
they confuse pleasure with happiness.
Pleasure is about immediate gratification, while happiness
is about long-term growth as a person. Happiness is about nourishing your soul.
Can we still follow this ancient mentorship?
The human race has hardly changed in 2300 years - we have the same bodies and minds
but many people have replaced their sense of life with a dependence on technology.
Without a sense of life, human existence is eating and mating,
sleeping and moving the bowels. While all these are necessary, a sense of life
gives them meaning.
Lasting Happiness: A Sense of Life
Most people search for what they lack, although they
often overlook and undervalue what they really want. Wealth does not replace the state of well-being and contentment that we call
sense of life.
When you feel unhappy, do you know how to change?
We can help you find your lost or hidden qualities
and to improve your beliefs, habits and relationships.
Like love, happiness has many meanings and synonyms. A
dictionary might define happiness as a stable state of well-being.
Happiness includes a sense of being in the right place, ranging from contentment
to intense joy. Happiness refers to enjoyment of or pleasant satisfaction
in life, with security and the ability to fulfill one's wishes.
Another definition of happiness: "a continued sense of
delight, contentment, and joy emanating from a sense of self-goodness,
sense of life and sense of destiny".
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Happiness is different to fun. We
use the word happiness to talk about long-term satisfaction, and the word
fun to refer to short-term pleasurable distractions.
Your Happiness is YOUR Choice!
Early research on happiness described and compared the happiness of
people in demographic groups such as sex, income, education, and age.
In later research, theoretical models were explored that emphasized
temperament, goal fulfillment, adaptation and social comparison.
There are many
types of long-term happiness. Some are:
- Living with integrity, without
- Clear goals and plans, without inner
- Clear relationships without guilty
- High motivation without unresolved negative emotions
- Using your qualities, expertise and skills
in service of life
- Finding inspirational mentorship and ending
- Healthy relationships without limiting
beliefs or emotional bonds
- Enjoying partnership and inspiring children
by living with integrity
Questions about sustaining relationship
happiness have grown crucial,
given financial, social, and emotional costs
accrued by frequent
Yet knowledge about constituents
of relationship happiness is sparse.
Dr Janet Reibstein
Lasting happiness seems to be about resolving negative emotions and
building healthy relationships -
including your relationship with yourself. Relationship happiness is
about enjoying who you are and sharing yourself with other people.
Children's happiness seems to revolve around being loved,
exploring and preparing for independence. Adult happiness seems to
balance between taking care of self and taking care of others.
Unhappy people are often obsessed with trying to change each
other's behavior or denying each other's
emotions. If you are responsible for your own happiness, you have no use for
coercion. If you do not need to coerce others, you can fulfill your goals in
ways that include freedom and independence.
If you take responsibility for your own happiness, you
reduce the likelihood of coercing others. If other adults in your life
share this assumption and establish rules based upon it, then you and
they can enjoy independence and intimacy. Such independent
intimacy is a strong basis for happy relationships.
- We are
together when we both want to be together.
- I am responsible for how I feel and
how I use my time.
- Each of us is responsible for our actions,
reactions and use of resources.
Counter-examples may seem unhealthy, codependent and cult-like:
- People must not spend time alone
- People should not express unpleasant feelings
- Each of us is responsible
for the actions and reactions of other people
Such rules may satisfy those who prefer dependence or
codependence, but could motivate healthier people to rebel and leave
Authentic happiness includes solving everyday
conflicts and set-backs. We can help you explore your mistakes, symptoms and goals
and shift your sense of life direction.
We offer unique models of solving relationship
problems. What are your "gifts" in relationships? Explore the
links between happiness, family history and everyday life. Explore your
Do you only focus on cognitive intelligence? If you
have high relationship intelligence, you can listen to and understand people,
because you already know the elements and skills required for successful relationships.
You can increase your relationship intelligence. You can improve
your integrity and honesty. You can affirm the worth of other people. You can
commit to personal and relationship growth. You can solve negative emotions and
Do you want help clarifying your core values, setting priorities based on
integrity, and making decisions aligned with your highest goals? Do you want to
manage your emotions, solve relationship problems and live a happy life?
Coaching, Counseling and Soulwork Therapy
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers
2005-2017 All rights reserved.