We provide online services and training on dissolving emotional problems,
resolving relationship issues and solving other blocks to happiness.
Soulwork Systemic Coaching
We coach people to evaluate and change habits, self-sabotage
and life patterns, based on defining life-goals, resolving relationship
problems and experiencing ongoing connectedness and integrity.
Some of the roots of Soulwork are in traditional Hawaiian
healing, particularly the rituals known as ho'oponopono and
ho'omanamana. We explored these rituals using expert modeling
strategies, and compare and contrast the results with concepts from
classical coaching and systemic family therapy.
NLP is often described as an epistemology for evaluating subjective experience.
NLP skills are useful for recognizing and duplicating performance – referred to
as modeling. (Most NLP change-work seems to be based on eliciting
resources as a basis for reprogramming people’s unconscious strategies.)
Polynesian traditions include ho'oponopono
(translation: making life right) a healing tradition used by many
native Hawaiian healers. Ho'oponopono is based on evaluating
and changing a person’s relationships - in accordance with the spirit
(aumakua) of the family.
Soulwork through NLP Eyes
In NLP terms, our systemic coaching methodology operates
at a logical level of Identity, with interactive reference to an
experience of connectedness that we call integrity or
Soul. Access to this experience appears to support lasting
change at the level of identity.
We first coach people to manage any current crisis and then
to manage guilt and co-dependent relationships. We then coach
people to create a series of steps leading to important goals.
These steps often transform into meta-positions of increasing
abstraction to a fascinating experience of a stable resource state.
This coaching continues until a person can choose to simultaneously
experience all partial personalities (often called parts),
providing that the person is willing to take responsibility for his or
her own life, and that the person has no major identity loss.
Our basic trust building originally utilized concepts from
rapport skills. Our goalwork incorporated concepts of well-formed
outcomes. The integration phase of our coaching redefined the NLP concept
of ecology while echoing the Vision work of NLP trainer Robert
Dilts. The relationship phase of our work included elements of the
relationship work of Steve and Connirae Andreas. The trauma phase
utilized highly modified versions of the emotion-dissociating timeline
techniques claimed by many NLP trainers.
Soulwork through Hawaiian Eyes
In terms of Hawaiian Huna , we utilize the hidden structure of
creation, called Kumulipo, which is mediated by the aumakua, or
ancestral spirits. This work requires the blessing of the person's ohana
or community-family and the blessing of the person's kupuna – elders.
The interim goal is to help people align with their family lineage. This alignment is
not possible if people have lost their 'uhane (spirit) or if someone
else's 'uhane has displaced a person’s own spirit.
Hence our first step to
health is usually kala (cleansing, forgiveness) leading to a conscious
connection with aumakua – using ho’omanamana (energy work)
to access the wisdom of Kumulipo (universal creativity) to do
ho’oponopono (change relationships). Next follows a re-evaluation of
ele’ele eke (traumatic events – literally black bags) and a
re-evaluation of all relationships.
Our Systemic Coaching
We offer a complete format for individual, couple and family coaching
for motivated adults. This format encourages people to choose
to live in such a way that accesses an experience of integration and
connectedness (Soul) while defining and fulfilling life goals.
I (Martyn) first named this methodology Soul Centered
Changework, and later Soulwork Systemic Coaching, because a person's
deep experience of integration becomes the organizing center from which long-term
changes can be made. Soul, here, is not an emotional state, nor a
resource – but an experience of relationship qualities. (See
Soul Centered Changework for more).
Why do people need coaching?
If a change-work agreement is made, our systemic coaching follows
a general strategy:
- Resolve any current crisis
- Goal coaching (goalwork); integration and guilt
- Metaphors and Dreamwork (continue goal-work in trance)
- Trauma work - create resourceful internal references
- Relationship work - Re-evaluate relationship bonds
- Resolve identity loss: Lost Identity, Identifications
and/or Identity Conflict
- Mentor work - Build internal trust and ongoing inspiration
- Couple coaching - Integrate changes into a person's partnership
- Family coaching - find family goals and build
Goalwork compared to NLP “Well Formed Outcome”
Most NLP training includes ways to recognize well formed
outcomes – usually based on Blanchard’s SMART acronym (goals should
be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant
and Timed.) However, very few people can answer a goal question
such as “What do you want?” with a SMART goal.
Many people cannot complete a grammatical
sentence beginning with “I want...” Instead, people give philosophical
answers, or incomplete sentences, or conflicting goals, multiple goals, or
negative goals, or abstract goals. All of these can be resolved ... see
You can communicate with both the conscious and
unconscious mind simultaneously, and with parts of the unconscious
(often 7 parts). If
you have reason to, you can bypass the conscious mind to instruct
various parts of the subconscious. We amplify this with interactive isomorphic
metaphors, vocal shifts and non-verbal
Lost Identity, Identifications and Identity
Conflict refer to phenomena not described by NLP (nor by most
psychotherapies). Lost Identity refers to a person who has
little sense of self. For this person, the word “I”
has no real meaning. Identification refers to the replacement
of self by another personality, and Identity Conflict refers
to at least two dominant personalities that maintain a chronic conflict.
For example, if a mother-to-be has an abortion, another
child may sense a guilty hole in the family system and, under stress,
compensate for the missing person by trying to become the missing person.
We call this dead person identification. (In many cultures this might
be called spirit possession).
My article Thoughtforms was published in NLP World
Volume 2, 1995. A thoughtform referred to the limiting influence
of another person, typically described by a client as a visual metaphor.
A person may say, "It's like a black chain around my legs" or
"It's like a grey rock in my heart".
Working with relationship bonds
is both delicate and dynamic. Relationship bonds interfere with thought and
action. We help people maintain resourceful states and focus on the bond from
integrity, protecting the person from their own limiting beliefs,
while we guide people to replace those beliefs.
Abuse, Trauma & Emotions
At this stage, people can now access integrity or Soul
(i.e. no identity blocks) without resource anchors (i.e.: no limiting
influences from other people). Your clients can choose "Who
influences me now?".
Although past abuse and traumatic events may still limit a
person's choices, we find that dissociating negative emotions only allows
temporary good feelings. Within 3-12 weeks, most dissociated emotions return,
often stronger than before, as depressions of life, or as
Instead of dissociation, we use systemic coaching to help people
to manage the relationship problems that underlie the negative
emotions that underlie most other problems and conflicts.
Coaching & Mentorship
We coach people to find appropriate mentors, and guide
clients to accept and use mentors. We coach people to become internally and
positively self-referenced. You can guide yourself with questions such as:
- Am I a role model for what I claim to offer?
- Would I want these methods to be used on me?
- What do my clients learn from their relationship with me?
- What do my clients learn about themselves during my sessions?
Online Life Coaching, NLP Counseling & Soulwork Therapy
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers
All rights reserved.