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Solutions for Obsessions & Compulsions
When you are too motivated Martyn Carruthers

Online Life Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

Are you impulsive? Do you want to transform obsessions,
manage compulsions or change limiting beliefs?

Who is Obsessive or Compulsive?

Many people want more motivation ... and some people want less. If your motivation is too strong, you may be called obsessive, compulsive or even addicted. Sometimes it's wonderful to not feel motivated to do things that you don't want to do.

Some people follow their habits mindlessly and let their habits dominate their lives. Do you endlessly criticize yourself? Do you count things or check something many times? Do you follow rituals, such as touching items in a certain way? If you cannot manage your motivation, you might be called impulsive or obsessive compulsive.

Do you count how often a dog barks, or the number of passing cars? Do you endlessly play songs in your mind? Can you easily stop playing video games or internet surfing?

Are you a prisoner in your own mind,
endlessly counting the bars of your cage?

We can help you transform obsessions and compulsions
into ordinary temptations.

Obsessions are thoughts that keep returning - often as fixed ideas or limiting beliefs. Compulsions are habits such as washing or compulsive eating that interfere with enjoying life. Both are created in relationship disturbances and disappointments - and often include limiting beliefs.

Obsessions and compulsions may be why many chain letters and computer viruses spread. Regardless of the stupidity of the messages - some people have to read them and have to follow the instructions. Many salespeople take advantage of people who have obsessions and compulsions. They can be told what they want.

Obsessions may be combined with or complicated by other symptoms - such as symptoms associated with trauma, parental alienation and emotional incest. If obsessions affect you, consider finding solutions before they get worse.

'We may not be able to choose the situation in which we find ourselves,
but we can always, always, choose how we will respond
'. Viktor Frankl

Symptoms of Obsessions & Compulsions

You may feel embarrassed about your obsessive thoughts - maybe they don't make sense, or seem crazy. You may try to hide your compulsive habits, because you know they look strange. You may feel alone and afraid - but still you cannot stop.

Obsessions and compulsions are similar to some addictions, such as gambling or sex, and to some symptoms of PTSD. They often have a similar cause. If you are trying to deal with trauma or emotional incest, you may be trying to escape from unpleasant feelings or trying to avoid negative emotions.

If you have symptoms like these, you may feel irritable, angry and withdrawn. As a child, you may have been accused of temper tantrums, stubbornness or other problems. As a teenager, you may have been accused of fighting your parents or avoiding school.

Obsessed Children

Obsessions can take a child's time and energy, leaving less time for homework or household chores. Children may feel they must do their rituals exactly right, to avoid feeling bad. They may feel stressed before they go to school or to bed.

Such children may feel exhausted, physically sick or have stress-related symptoms such as headaches or upset stomachs. They may worry about bacteria and toxins, and about being perceived as crazy. If a child's behavior is labeled as frustration or anger, parents may punish the child for showing these emotions.

Obsessive Liars

If children grow up with lies ... then lying is normal. Sometimes lies becomes addictive, - most people lie if they feel that lying will help them gain something, but compulsive liars seem to lie naturally. Words are just words, aren't they?

Obsessive Shopping & Compulsive Buying

Businesses spend millions to influence your behavior. Marketing programs are often designed to induce obsessions, and they are effective. Do you buy things you don't need with money you can't afford to impress people that you don't like?

Spending can be like any other addiction. Our solutions include helping you replace your motivation to shop with motivation to do something that you want more. This requires that you know what you want more. Do you?

Drugs & Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Many health professionals prefer medication to conversation. Although antidepressants may not affect OCD symptoms, you may be prescribed clomipramine (Anafranil), fluvoxamine (Luvox), fluoxetine (Prozac), citalopram (Celexa), sertraline (Zoloft) or paroxetine (Paxil).

These drugs affect blood serotonin - a chemical that nerve cells use to communicate. Serotonin receptors are spread throughout the brain, so its uptake and release can affect a huge part of your life. See Side Effects of Common Drugs.

Toxic Family Traditions

Many obsessions and compulsions reflect toxic family traditions. Have you ...

  1. identified with another person?
  2. lost access to parts of yourself?
  3. lost access to most of your identity?
  4. identified with two people who were in conflict?

As most obsessions and compulsions reflect relationship issues, we find it strange that so many people are advised to solve relationship issues by taking drugs.

Solutions for Obsessive Behavior

Do  you want to manage your emotions and the compulsive behaviors and habits that those emotions may motivate?

I used to make and remake my bed, endlessly rearrange our children's toys, and do other things
that seem ridiculous now. I had been seeing a therapist for three years. When you said
five or six sessions, I thought you were crazy. But in the second session, I found a
very frightened child in my mind ... you helped me love her. By the sixth session
I seemed to have mostly healed myself.

Many obsessions seem to reflect toxic secrets within families, and compulsions often seem to compensate for identity loss. We help motivated people find a stable sense of integrity and resolve emotional and relationship issues.

Change Impulsive Behavior, Obsessions & Compulsions

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2005-2018
All rights reserved.

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention or

For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email