We offer solutions for relationship and emotional issues
and building healthy relationships.
Coaching & Counseling Older People
While older people often tell us that you can't
teach an old dog new tricks,
we help older people manage emotions and solve relationship problems.
Sometimes a person's age is relevant to their ability to change.
We find that older people often need more time to assess information and
make decisions, and that they may forget their decisions and agreements.
Some older people may remember their youth
more clearly than the last session.
Senior citizens are not a homogenous group. We explore each
person's choices in the context of their goals and their age.
See also Disillusionment.
We help people define and achieve their goals. We help people
understand the benefits and consequences of changing or
ignoring their emotional problems and relationship issues.
Coaching & Responsibility
Old age isn't for the weak!
We help people assess their emotions and make choices
about their relationships. We do not diagnose medical conditions,
nor give advice concerning the treatment of medical conditions ...
unless we are also licensed medical doctors.
Many factors may impair a person's capacity to make
decisions. Infections, a missing relative, a need for a toilet, the
presence of an intimidating authority, toxic relationship bonds - any
of these may temporarily reduce a person's ability to assess a
situation or make complex decisions.
Our coaching is of limited use for people who are not responsible
for their decisions, or who are unable to take care of themselves.
However, our coaching is more than useful for their caregivers.
Legal Competence & Informed Consent
Here are useful maxims about consent and competence (from
Thomas Grisso & Paul S. Appelbaum)
- Legal competence can change
- Legal incompetence refers to functional deficits
- Legal incompetence depends on consequences
- Legal incompetence depends on functional demands
- Legal incompetence is related to, but not the same as,
impaired mental states
Based on standards of informed consent, four
important abilities are:
- making voluntary choices
- understanding the personal impact of a treatment
- applying logical reasoning to received information
- understanding information relevant to the current decision
Incompetence can be defined as "functional deficits
judged to be sufficiently great that a person currently cannot meet
the demands of a specific decision-making situation, weighed in
light of the potential consequences of that decision."
As few coaches are also lawyers and medical doctors,
we prefer to err on the side of caution.
Most people talk to friends, relatives and professionals
when making complex decisions. They may discuss the potential risks
and benefits, and possible effects on values and lifestyle.
Making decisions is often easier if information is
presented in simple, concrete language. It may be sufficient for an older
person to understand that coaching can help people feel better, or
help people change their relationship habits, or both.
Coaching the Elderly
Senior citizens often make decisions more slowly than
younger people. Older people have a lot more life experience, and may
have experienced unpleasant consequences of fast decisions. They may
also think slower - and they may forget key concepts in the
Younger coaches may feel frustrated and impatient with
slow responses to apparently simple requests. "Do you want to
feel better about your relationship with
your children?" A complete answer may not be as simple as
"Yes" or "No". Older people may want to
feel sure you understand their situations.
Many people are confused by their emotions and
relationships - not only the elderly. Some people
- may be visually impaired and not mention it
- may often drift off into daydreams or to sleep
- may have significant hearing loss - and not tell you
- may not understand that relationships can be improved
- may not understand instructions which differ from their habits
Some key points for coaching people who may have a
limited attention span:
- Listen carefully
- Break complex skills into simple steps
- Keep attention with eye contact and short sentences
- Break complex decisions into many simple decisions
- Test the person's understanding with simple questions
- Give information at a speed in which it can be understood
- Give overviews of possible strategies for achieving each goal
Our coaching often includes rehearsals for difficult conversations.
Your success begins and ends with you! Do not
delegate your own development.
We can help you unlock
your personal and career success, your relationships and your
life choices. Explore what motivates you, what inspires you, what
are your strengths and why you want your goals. ... as well as
creating effective plans to achieve them.
Online Systemic Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
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© Martyn Carruthers 2005-2016 All rights reserved.