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Emotional Issues
Anger & Rage

Eating Problems
Emotional Maturity
Grief & Loss
Inner Child

Pain Control
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Toxic Beliefs
Trauma & Stress
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Relationship Problems

Dissolve Conflicts
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Enjoy Partnership
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Patterns in Love
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Inner Conflict
Expert Modeling
Learning Disorders

Sexual Abuse
Soul of Soulwork
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Aging & Older Clients
Manage Emotions & Relationship Problems Martyn Carruthers

Online Help, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

We offer solutions for relationship and emotional issues
and building healthy relationships.

Coaching & Counseling Older People

While older people often tell us that you can't teach an old dog new tricks,
we help older people manage emotions and solve relationship problems.

Sometimes a person's age is relevant to their ability to change. We find that older people often need more time to assess information and make decisions, and that they may forget their decisions and agreements.

Some older people may remember their youth more clearly than the last session.

Senior citizens are not a homogenous group. We explore each person's choices in the context of their goals and their age. See also Disillusionment.

We help people define and achieve their goals. We help people understand the benefits and consequences of changing or ignoring their emotional problems and relationship issues.

Coaching & Responsibility

Old age isn't for the weak!

We help people assess their emotions and make choices about their relationships. We do not diagnose medical conditions, nor give advice concerning the treatment of medical conditions ... unless we are also licensed medical doctors.

Many factors may impair a person's capacity to make decisions. Infections, a missing relative, a need for a toilet, the presence of an intimidating authority, toxic relationship bonds - any of these may temporarily reduce a person's ability to assess a situation or make complex decisions.

Our coaching is of limited use for people who are not responsible for their decisions, or who are unable to take care of themselves. However, our coaching is more than useful for their caregivers.

Legal Competence & Informed Consent

Here are useful maxims about consent and competence (from Thomas Grisso & Paul S. Appelbaum) :

  • Legal competence can change
  • Legal incompetence refers to functional deficits
  • Legal incompetence depends on consequences
  • Legal incompetence depends on functional demands
  • Legal incompetence is related to, but not the same as, impaired mental states

Based on standards of informed consent, four important abilities are:

  • making voluntary choices
  • understanding the personal impact of a treatment
  • applying logical reasoning to received information
  • understanding information relevant to the current decision

Incompetence can be defined as "functional deficits judged to be sufficiently great that a person currently cannot meet the demands of a specific decision-making situation, weighed in light of the potential consequences of that decision."

As few coaches are also lawyers and medical doctors,
we prefer to err on the side of caution.


Most people talk to friends, relatives and professionals when making complex decisions. They may discuss the potential risks and benefits, and possible effects on values and lifestyle.

Making decisions is often easier if information is presented in simple, concrete language. It may be sufficient for an older person to understand that coaching can help people feel better, or help people change their relationship habits, or both.

Coaching the Elderly

Senior citizens often make decisions more slowly than younger people. Older people have a lot more life experience, and may have experienced unpleasant consequences of fast decisions. They may also think slower - and they may forget key concepts in the information.

Younger coaches may feel frustrated and impatient with slow responses to apparently simple requests. "Do you want to feel better about your relationship with your children?" A complete answer may not be as simple as "Yes" or "No". Older people may want to feel sure you understand their situations.

Many people are confused by their emotions and relationships - not only the elderly. Some people

  • may be visually impaired and not mention it
  • may often drift off into daydreams or to sleep
  • may have significant hearing loss - and not tell you
  • may not understand that relationships can be improved
  • may not understand instructions which differ from their habits

Some key points for coaching people who may have a limited attention span:

  1. Listen carefully
  2. Break complex skills into simple steps
  3. Keep attention with eye contact and short sentences
  4. Break complex decisions into many simple decisions
  5. Test the person's understanding with simple questions
  6. Give information at a speed in which it can be understood
  7. Give overviews of possible strategies for achieving each goal

Our coaching often includes rehearsals for difficult conversations.

Your success begins and ends with you! Do not delegate your own development.

We can help you unlock your personal and career success, your relationships and your life choices. Explore what motivates you, what inspires you, what are your strengths and why you want your goals. ... as well as creating effective plans to achieve them.

Online Systemic Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2005-2016 All rights reserved.

If you find our work useful, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention or

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland


Solve Emotional & Relationship Issues

Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you want? Know your life goals and how you sabotage yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Develop your inner resources with Dreamwork
Do emotions block you? Resolve relationship problems and mentor damage
Do beliefs limit you? Change your limiting beliefs and end dependence
Can you feel connected? Resolve identity loss to recover your lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents can better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and top teams can develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling, therapy & training

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2016 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was developed by Martyn Carruthers
to help people solve emotional and relationship problems, and to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work.