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Are you entangled in difficult
relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer from old trauma?
Do you suffer from your parents' drama, your partner's demands, your
boss's moods? We can help you untangle
your life ... and you can coach other people to reclaim their freedom.
Are You a Good Parent?
Parenthood is not easy. As a parent, you may have
much to learn. Depending on your children's age, you may want to offer
them authority, advice, guidance, mentorship or coaching. Are you sure of your role? Many
situations require several skills, and your children's needs change
rapidly.
First - check your partnership. Do your children have two
active parents? Do you and your partner provide a peaceful, protected
home in which your children can develop? Do you and your partner solve
problems quickly and peacefully? If not - why not? Do you need
couple coaching?
If you are a single parent, you may try to be father and mother to your children. You will
fail, of course, and the consequences may not be pleasant. You will provide a
confusing role model and may even distort the sexual orientation of your children.
We can help you know what you did well ...
and what you may have missed ... and find ways to fill any holes.
Best friends or parents may
think they know what's best for you - but they may use your children to test
their theories. Our coaching offers you solutions for the situations described on
this web site. Situations like abortion,
addiction and adoption
... problems such as ...
[
Parental
Alienation ] [
Learning Disabilities ] [ Child
Abuse ] [
Children
of Divorce ]
Parent Coaching
Parent coaching is based on systemic couple
coaching to improve the degree of parent presence, parent resourcefulness,
parent cooperation and their community support.
Healthy Communities
Parenting is complicated by a permissive and
aggressive world. Economic, political and social forces await your children
at school, in sports, at entertainment and at home. False promises,
disappointment, competition, provocation, inequity and temptation can
distract and jeopardize your children's efforts to cope with a complex and
sometimes dangerous world.
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We were
trying to be good parents - and we were exhausted from our work, our partnership,
looking after our own parents, as well as dealing with our
children's problems at school. We were tired - really tired. You helped
us sort it out. KN, London |
Single parents may have additional burden. Are you
trying to be both parents? Are you teaching your children how to cope
with a changing world? Their world may be very different
to your world when you were a child. The consequences of not teaching
your children how to cope include:
- distressing family relationships
- low self-esteem
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- academic underachievement
- missed opportunities
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Our eldest son struggled with a learning disorder - Attention
Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). This sabotaged his attempts at planning
and self-management as well as his learning. Since your coaching he is
improving daily. What can we do for our other children? FL, Italy
(See:
Prevent Learning Disabilities) |
Your children must make many decisions using their
limited judgment, self-control and problem solving skills. Your
child's failures can indicate where your coaching is
needed ... or you can become proactive, anticipate their problems and
coach them first.
- help your children choose appropriate skills
for different circumstances
- help your children by discussing
which skills can cope with which problems
- help your children work out why things go
wrong, instead of punishing them
- help your children manage emotions, chores and homework
- observe your child's emotional and social
skills and provide practice time
- affirm that you support your children
while they explore why difficulties arose
- strive to accept and understand your
children, not criticize and lecture
- develop and refine your children's social
and emotional coping skills
- monitor where your children were
successful, and where they had difficulty
Your children may give pay attention to your coaching if
they feel that you are all in your family together. You support safe
conversations when you discuss your own errors, with helpful feedback.
When your children see you using coaching skills, they are more
likely to follow your lead.
- Mature social skills includes cooperation,
sharing, judgment and appreciating other perspectives
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- Mature emotional skills include
resilience, frustration tolerance and perseverance
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Adopted Children
Talk about adoption early and often - make it a normal
topic for both you and your child.. A gradual introduction can keep pace
with an adopted child’s developing emotions.
Discuss
adoption throughout your child’s life. Give them time to process it.
Perhaps adjust your talk about adoption to the child’s
development.
Speak positively about your adopted child’s birth
parents. Attribute some of your child’s skills and features to the birth
parents. Most adopted children will hear criticisms of the genetic
parents as criticisms of themselves - and react. Explain that the birth
parents did everything they could to ensure their children would be
cared for, and that a child can love two sets of parents.
[ Adopted
Children ] [
Emotional Maturity ]
Children's Relationship Skills
Relationship skills for young children include taking turns,
sharing, greetings, goodbyes, helping, following directions, thanks, apologies,
compliments and more. Most
children learn by watching their parents, other children and teachers. Children
from dysfunctional families may need coaching.
Children who do not learn these skills may suffer
emotional and social impairments. Children who avoid other children, or
who are ignored by children their own age, may benefit from coaching.
Here are a few possibilities to coach an adopted child to become
friendly and socially competent:
- Estimate your child's emotional
age when with friends
- Help your child build relationship
skills appropriate to that emotional age
- Use games, puppets and stories to
help your child learn
- Role play new skills with you and
other family members
- Find ways for your child to practice
with younger children to build confidence
- Provide opportunities for your child
to try their skills with other children
Relationship Coaching ...
Systemic Coach Training
We welcome friendly people who are motivated and
emotionally stable. Enhance your career with life coaching and relationship
coaching skills. Coach people to gain clarity, dissolve success and relationship
issues, and understand what makes sense in life. Help people build success
and quality relationships. You can help people fulfill their dreams.
Copyright Teresa Mocna, 2003, 2005 All
rights reserved |
