TRAINING  &  COACHING  for  MANAGERS & LEADERS

Case Histories

Relationship Bonds & Past Partners

Relationship Coaching ... Systemic Coach Training

We present interactive demonstration-rich workshops on systemic coaching, relationship happiness, resolving family chaos and relationship bonds. Email us if you would like a workshop in your area.

What is Partnership?

We describe a partnership as "a committed relationship between two adults to achieve mutually important goals". Partnership goals require commitment, and partnership goals cannot be achieved by one person working alone. Committed implies that both people are actively engaged in fulfilling the projects which form the purpose of partnership.

What is Couple Coaching?

Couple coaching can help you solve partnership problems. Both partners contribute to relationship problems, and both can learn to solve and prevent relationship problems. The partners may be shown how to dissolve communication blocks, describe their mutual goals and accept responsibilities.

Any person wishing to improve his or her relationships can get help with behavioral problems, relationship issues, or with emotional problems. Premarital coaching helps people ensure that they are compatible. Post-marital coaching helps separating couples part or divorce peacefully.

As unresolved issues from past partnerships show up in subsequent partnerships, Soulwork couple coaching helps people resolve emotional bonds with their past partners. (Sometimes a past partner may be a parent - Father - Daughter Bonds and Mother - Son Bonds codependence are common.)

What Happens when it's Over?

Following an intimate heterosexual partnership, the woman usually re-orients to another partner faster than the man, while the man (even if he initiated the breakup) may cling to the woman. The man may continue to feel or express love to the woman, and experience crisis if and when she commences a new intimate relationship.

If you are emotionally entangled with a past-partner, you may cling to what your partner represented. Entanglement seems inevitable if your past partner represented a success, or someone from your history - perhaps a parent, a sibling or a previous past-partner.

What are Partnership Goals?

The fulfillment of partnership goals requires relationship skills - especially friendship skills, team skills. And partnership skills are required for successful parenthood and project management.

[ Partnership & Couple Coaching ]

What is a Partner?

When participating in a partnership, you are likely sensitive to the other person's behavior. You are likely to notice if the other person keeps his or her promises, supports mutual decisions and brings resources into the relationship. You will also notice if this person abuses, betrays or abandons you.

[ Enjoy Partnership ] [ Evaluate Partnership ] [ Predictable Partnership ]

What is a Past Partner?

If you once partnered a person, then that person's actions and reactions may continue to influence your behavior long after separating. The behavior of a past partner may inspire you to find another partner with similar or quite different qualities, or a past partner may inspire you to avoid other partnerships.

[ Divorce ] [ Children of Divorce ] [ Parental Alienation ]

Substitutes for Partners

Some people prefer a non-human substitute for a partner to the reality of sharing a part of life with another human being. Common non-human partner-substitutes include pets, plants, automobiles, houses, televisions, computers and boats.

Another type of partner-substitute are people who are not partners. A series of brief affair - partners, for example, may diminish the need for committed adult companionship. Other common human partner-substitutes are parents, siblings and friends.

When Parents partner Children

if a parent behaves in ways that can be mistaken for partnership, a child may enjoy the special attention and expressions of love. Later in life, however, a child may have difficulty finding or marinating a relationship with anyone except a substitute for the partner-parent. See Emotional Incest.

Parent-bonded adults may sabotage their own attempts at partnership. This motivates two common behavior patterns, which can be called reclusive and promiscuous.

Past Partners

If an intimate partnership ends because of betrayal and abandonment, then the betrayed partner is more likely to express strong emotions [ see Affairs ] and may act childishly.

If an intimate partnership ends because of abuse, then the abusive or addicted partner is more likely to express strong emotions and age-regress to some childhood trauma. See Abusive Relationships

Emotions & Past Partners

Many people have emotional issues about past partners. Some are objective - for example an ex-wife wants more alimony or an ex-husband is stalking the woman. Yet the majority of past-partner problems exist in the mind.

Do your feelings about a past-partner:

• make you sick with anger, worry or remorse?
• encompass you, or seem to surround you?
• cause you to feel guilty or depressed?
• prevent you enjoying another partnership?

Soulwork offers you quality relationship coaching for your problems with past-partners.

Relationship Coaching ... Systemic Coach Training

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