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The Relationship Coaching Institute


Part 2: Personality Disorders

Advanced Systemic Solutions with Martyn Carruthers

We present interactive seminars and demonstration-rich workshops on systemic coaching, relationship happiness, resolving family chaos and relationship bonds. Email us if you would like a seminar.

Link to Part 1 - [ Developmental Disorders ]

Symptoms called Developmental Disorders and Personality Disorders are opinions used by health professionals to determine treatments. Few opinions can be confirmed in a laboratory. A systemic coach who understands how these diagnoses compare to systemic diagnosis can better communicate with psychologists and health professionals.

Personality Disorders and Developmental Disorders are rarely used in systemic coaching, nor are statistical data perceived to be useful for coaching individual clients. We use systemic diagnosis:

  • Relationship Diagnosis (Family Matrix & Family constellations)
  • Goal Diagnosis (Goalwalk, Goal hypnosis and Conflict maps)
  • Relationship History (Relationship events; memories and guilt)
  • Non-verbal diagnosis (to confirm, enhance or disprove diagnoses)

Descriptions of personality disorders are useful when discussing symptoms. However most people want to explore, define, plan and achieve meaningful goals. See Meaning of Life & Soul Mentorship

Personality Disorders & DSM IV

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), by the American Psychiatric Association, offers guidelines to assist health professionals to form opinions (that cannot be confirmed or rejected scientifically). The described symptoms overlap considerably and the recommended treatments for different disorders may be identical. See Systemic Coaching & Mental Health

1. Adjustment Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Adjustment Disorders are anxiety, aggression and depression, depending on the person's physical or emotional age.

1. Anxiety Symptoms (children or age-regressed adults)

  • Nervousness & worry
  • Fear of separation from parents or partner
  • Agoraphobia (extreme)

2. Behavioral Symptoms (adolescents & age-regressed adults)

  • Preoccupation with violence (e.g. TV, computer games and cinema)
  • Hyperactivity and Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorders (ADHD)
  • Violation of others rights or societal rules

3. Depressive Symptoms (adults)

  • Depression and withdrawal
  • Melancholy, crying and tearfulness
  • Expressions of hopelessness and helplessness

See Identity Loss & Relationship Bonds


2. Antisocial Disorder (Sociopath / Psychopath)

Symptoms associated with Antisocial Disorders are

  • Disregards the feelings and rights of other people.
  • May use or exploit other people for their own gain.
  • May lie repeatedly, act impulsively and enjoy physical violence.
  • May mistreat spouses, neglect or abuse children, and exploit employees.

3. Anxiety Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Anxiety Disorders are panic attacks / anxiety attacks which include racing heart, hyperventilation, breathing difficulties, chest pain, nausea, dizziness, headaches, trembling and more.

Anxiety Disorders include the fear of spontaneous panic attacks, anxiety or agoraphobia, obsessive compulsive disorder or OCD, (repetition of rituals) and post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD (follows a life changing experience such as bereavement or a near fatal accident.)

See Anxiety , OCD , Trauma & PTSD


4. Attachment Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Attachment Disorders are repetitive and persistent violations of people, or violation of important community or social rules.

  • Demanding, manipulative and abusive to family members
  • Focus on immediate personal goals
  • Preoccupied with blood, fire and gore

See Identity Loss & Relationship Bonds


5. Avoidant Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Avoidant Disorders are:

  • social withdrawal due to intense, anxious shyness
  • avoids interacting with others unless they feel certain they will be liked
  • fear being criticized and rejected

See Identity Loss & Relationship Bonds


6. Bi-Polar Disorder (Manic-Depressive) Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Bipolar Disorder are swinging moods and thoughts, irrational behaviors. Although sometimes pleasurable, the suffering may lead to suicide. The label indicates episodes of mania and depression, although a person may function normally between these episodes

Manic Phase

  • feel intensely happy and self-important
  • sleep less and talk in rapid-fire speech
  • have inflated self-esteem, confidence

Depressive Phase

  • feel sad or indifferent about work, activities
  • think slowly, concentrate poorly, fatigued
  • may feel a sense of worthless or helpless

7. Borderline Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Borderline Personality Disorder are

  • intense emotional instability, particularly in relationships
  • may perceive minor problems to be major crises
  • may express anger and frustration through self-harm

Children with this disorder are emotionally unstable, impulsive, and often bitter or angry, although their chaotic impulsiveness may make them popular at school. See Borderline


8. Conduct Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Conduct Disorders are repetitive and persistent violations of people or important community or social rules.

  • aggressive to people / cruel to animals
  • bullies, threatens or intimidates others
  • destroys, burns or steals property

This disorder applies to children ... adults with similar symptoms are likely to be labeled Antisocial Personality Disorder. See Troubled Teenagers


9. Dependent Personality Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Dependent Personality Disorders are

  • severe and disabling emotional dependency on others
  • difficulty making decisions without advice and reassurance
  • urgently seeks a new relationship when a relationship ends

See Dependence and Codependence


10. Depersonalization Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Depersonalization Disorder are a sense of detachment or dissociation from the body. These symptoms can impede normal functioning.

  • Feel as though they are floating above the ground, outside their own body
  • Feeling that they or other people are mechanical or unreal
  • Feeling of being in a dream

This is called Lost Identity in Systemic Coaching. The symptoms are similar to some descriptions of out-of-body and near-death experiences (NDE). See Identity Loss


11. Depressive Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Depressive Disorder are chronic pessimism, gloominess and cheerlessness - see Depression


12. Histrionic Personality Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Histrionic Personality Disorder are

  • constant effort to be a center of attention
  • may talk in a dramatic or theatrical way
  • exaggerated emotional reactions

See Emotional Incest


13. Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Symptoms

Symptoms associated with ODD are ...

  • angry, resentful and argumentative
  • deliberately annoys people
  • easily annoyed by others

See Troubled Teenagers


14. Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms

Narcissism can be adaptive and is pathological only if it leads to dysfunction. Pathological narcissism is the art of deception. Symptoms associated with narcissism are persistent deception and self-aggrandizement without regard to others

  • may seek excessive admiration from others
  • may fantasize about unlimited success or power
  • may believe they are special, unique, or superior to others

Some narcissist behavior conforms to cultural norms. Consider the idiom "Fake it 'til you make it". Reacts to crises with narcissism. See Little Prince - Little Princess


15. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder

Symptoms associated with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder are:

  • preoccupation with details, orderliness, perfection, and control
  • may devote excessive amounts of time to work and productivity
  • may fail to take time for leisure activities and friendships

This personality disorder is said to differ from obsessive-compulsive disorder, which may include more bizarre behavior and rituals. See Obsessions & Compulsions and Eating Disorders


16. Panic Disorder (Panic Attack) Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Panic Disorder (Panic Attacks) are:

  • periods of intense fear, apprehension, or discomfort
  • racing heart, shortness of breath, trembling, choking
  • fears of “going crazy,” losing control, or dying from a heart attack

People with panic disorders may develop agoraphobia - a fear of being in places or situations from which escape might be difficult should a panic attack occur. See Anxiety Disorders


17. Paranoid Personality Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Paranoid Personality Disorder are

  • may act constantly suspicious and distrustful toward other people
  • may believe that others oppose or are against them
  • may be hostile toward others and react with anger to perceived insults

These symptoms are typical of Victim Identification, in which a person identifies with a family victim and expresses suspicion and anger. See Paranoia & Personality Identification


18. Passive-Aggressive Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Passive-Aggressive personality disorder are

  • constant complaints
  • covert criticism of authority
  • sullenness and silent disobedience

A person punishes others for perceived wrongs. This may be a reaction to an aggressive or violent parent. This behavior resembles victim identification. See Personality Identification


19. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders follow traumatic experience that involved actual or potential serious injury (physical or emotional) to self, a family member or friend.

  • intense fear, helplessness or horror
  • disorganized or agitated behavior, especially in children
  • persistent re-experiencing of the traumatic event (flashbacks)

PTSD symptoms allow a person to retreat from reality and avoid the disturbing emotions associated with acute or chronic trauma, often by acting like a wounded child. See Trauma


20. Schizoid Personality Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Schizoid Personality Disorders are:

  • isolation - avoids close personal relationships
  • may prefer to be alone and seem withdrawn and emotionally detached
  • often indifferent to praise or criticism from other people

Symptoms associated with schizoid personality disorder allows a person to avoid displaying immature behavior or non-existent relationship skills. See Identity Loss & Schizophrenia


21. Schizotypal Personality Disorder Symptoms

Symptoms associated with Schizotypal Personality Disorders are:

  • abnormal thinking, speech, and behavior
  • may use words and phrases in unusual ways
  • may believe they have magical control over people or things

Symptoms associated with schizotypal personality disorder may be labeled as mild schizophrenia. The symptoms allow a person to express emotions from parenting or childhood trauma. See Schizophrenia


22. Seasonal Affective Disorder Symptoms (SAD)

Seasonal Affective Disorder (winter depression) is characterized by

  • depressed behavior during autumn and winter
  • craving for sweet and/or starchy foods
  • lower productivity, motivation and productivity

The difficult months are usually January and February, with women and children having a higher risk. The risk of SAD increases with latitude. See Depression

Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? Do you want to coach people to resolve emotional and relationship challenges? Contact us.


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Systemic Coach Training  (Calendar)

Systems 1 How to evaluate relationship dynamics and recognize common entanglements
Systems 2 How to define life goals, identify blocks, resolve objections & plan for success
Systems 3 How to provide or continue goalwork using interactive metaphors and Dreamwork
Systems 4 How to dissolve the consequences of abuse and trauma, and rebuild motivation
Systems 5 How to change limiting beliefs and codependence for emotional freedom
Systems 6 How to recognize and resolve identity loss: recover lost qualities and lost skills
Systems 7 How to resolve therapist or spiritual damage and provide inspirational mentorship
Systems 8 How to coach partners to build lasting happiness and avoid partnership breakdown
Systems 9 How to coach parents to resolve family problems and to set and enjoy family goals
Systems 10 How to coach team leaders to develop teams while solving team problems
Specialty Advanced workshops and specialty training tailored to fulfill your goals and needs

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2009 All rights reserved. These Systemic Solutions were primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers. We coach and train people to succeed by solving emotional and relationship problems. This information is for your general knowledge only. Please consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing any medical treatment. Link to our pages, but get Martyn's written permission to post or publish his work.

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