Resolve negative emotions and
Our coaching isn't a spectator
sport - we offer contact! We help people explore, discover
and relate to themselves. We find that a good relationship with self is
the solid basis for pleasant emotions and good relationships in life.
Look at this table:
Relationships can inspire or hurt people.
How is your relationship with yourself?
Do you like and appreciate yourself or do you frequently criticize yourself?
Unhealthy Self Relationship
|You appreciate yourself
||You are often
or critical of yourself
|Your explore your
feelings and emotions
||You ignore your feelings and
your emotions seem out of control
|You review your
personal history to learn from the past to make a better future
||You rarely review your
personal history - each step of your life is a surprise
|You feel your
reactions to goals and think carefully about your plans
||You avoid your
feelings and you don't trust your own ideas
|You enjoy passion and intimacy
||You are afraid of your own
|You contemplate your goals
and dreams, values and sense of life
||You rarely contemplate
|You participate in projects
which require your inspiration and motivation
||You avoid, ignore or
condemn inspiration and motivation
|You enjoy relationships
with friends, family, partners and children
||You prefer to avoid or withdraw
from most or all relationships
|You trust your
experience of who you are
||You feel that
other people's judgments of you are better than your own.
good about being yourself
||You try to
prove yourself in unhealthy ways, or you try to copy others.
|You feel inner
fulfillment and are rarely bored
people to make you happy
|You want lasting happiness
||You want fun or to not-feel
To feel better about themselves, some people try
to put other people down, manipulate them, control them through anger or pretending
to be a victim and so on. This table compares some signs of healthy and unhealthy
relationships with yourself ...
||Unhealthy Self Relationship
|You fulfill your needs through negotiation
||You feel guilty if you say "No"
|You feel good about being normal
||You feel special, either better or
worse than other people
|You accept mistakes as part of life
||You feel irritated about
anything that you can call a mistake
|You try to be fair
inconsiderate, or you let people treat you badly
|You cope with and take
responsibility for your emotions
||You blame other people for
"causing" your emotions
people's choices and decisions
criticize and show contempt
for people's choices and decisions
|You express your opinions peacefully
and consider other points of view
||You feel bad if people disagree with
you; you try to change their minds.
Early Family Background
If you grew up with family relationship chaos you may have
learned to dislike and criticize yourself. Did anybody ever show you how to appreciate yourself?
If you grew up in a home where personal choice was ignored, you may not
have learned about personal dignity. Did anyone show you how to
define your own values?
Did your early family encourage each other? Were you taught
how to choose goals and how to encourage yourself to fulfill them? Did your
early family hurt each other, causing you lose trust in them and in yourself? Or
did your family create activities that everybody could enjoy?
The atmosphere in your early family may have be a normal way to
live life, and the way your parents taught you to think and feel about yourself
will influence your normal everyday life. Do you feel comfortable with how you
usually feel? Do you think it's "good enough" and not likely to
change? We can help you make your mood more enjoyable and motivating!
Can you forgive yourself for growing up in your family?
Can you forgive your family?
Are you Addicted to Something or Someone?
Addictions often seem to be attempts to fulfill the goal
of “I do not want to be me!”. Most addictions seem to be ways that
people avoid, dissociate or not-feel negative emotions, including
boredom and loneliness. We coach people to end addictive behavior,
and help them change the emotions and relationships that support it.
But the longer you leave it - the harder it is to change.
Addictions bring short-term relief and long-term nightmares.
Although some addictions are common and the consequences well known; many
people at least as intelligent and knowledgeable as you are addicts. If
compulsions and obsessions are included with addiction,
few people may seem to be free.
Many people use drugs to try to ignore or forget
Or maybe you want
better solutions ... lasting solutions
Addictive relationships cause lasting damage.
Abuse or emotional blackmail
provide stress that can increase your risk of
and hypertension. Addictive
relationships can lead to drug abuse,
depression, or to suicide
- Do you justify staying in a sick relationship?
(see identity loss)
- Do you know a relationship is unhealthy for both
of you, yet avoid ending it?
- If you consider ending a relationship, do
you feel anxiety, guilt or physically ill?
If any of these apply to you, could you be passive
aggressive or addicted? We can help you understand your situation, and
help you choose how to improve your life.
Emotional First Aid
Your inner state or attitude helps you attract or create
what you want. To change your attitude, you can list what activities help
you change your mood from unpleasant to pleasant.
For example, my list right now includes: intimacy, sitting
by the sea, walking in mountains, reading, good coffee, paella and writing.
What are yours? Keep your list handy, and when something triggers an
unpleasant state, do one of the activities on your list.
Your body health is important - when you treat yourself well,
you feel and look better. Have you explored your health needs ... do you sleep
enough to feel good, how many meals do
you need each day and how many hours apart? How about sexual intimacy? And
exercise? Explore what you need to perform at your best ... and then take care
of your needs.
You can create mental images of what you want, then imagine
feeling what they would feel like, and then consider what practical steps would
be needed to attain them. To help keep your vision alive, you can then create
collages, with pictures of what you want, perhaps cut from magazines.
Emotional first aid is unlikely to manage chronic emotions or
established habits, but can give you space to decide what you want to change ...
and how you want to change it. We help people find lasting solutions
for emotional and relationship issues.
When to Seek Help
Some people, although they are hurting and want help, procrastinate. And when
they've suffered enough ... we are here.
- Do you usually stay in bad relationships?
- Do you stay in a relationship due to guilt or
- Do you want to end a relationship, but you cannot
- Do you want to decide whether you should accept it,
improve it, or get out of it?
Contact us to resolve negative emotions and
Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
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