| Are you entangled in difficult relationships or painful emotions? Do you suffer from old trauma? Do you suffer from your parents' drama, your partner's demands, your boss's moods? Soulwork Systemic Solutions can help you untangle your life ... and you can help other people reclaim their freedom. A Practical Yoga of Love This article refers to Rajah Yoga, Kundalini Yoga and Tantra Yoga, not Hatha Yoga. This article does not discuss yoga postures nor sexual techniques; nor does it require that you believe anything. Implicit within yoga are concepts about relationships. Hindu men often considered themselves superior to women, and to men of a lower caste, enshrined within a doctrine of reincarnation and karma, in which it was appropriate to abuse people who must have sinned in some past life. Hence references to relationships in yoga may reflect a different model of the world to that preferred by most Westerners. Enlightenment usually refers to transcending suffering and desire. In a yoga of relationships, fulfillment may better describe the deep, multi-dimensional happiness available to you. [ Spiritual Abuse ] [ Soul Mentorship ] Relationships Your relationship habits can lead to deep and long-term happiness - or deep and long-term suffering.
| Love |
A condition in which the welfare and happiness of another person are essential to your own. |
Your relationship habits attract or repel people. A relationship yoga can help you find happiness. It can help you clean up your mess. It can help you fulfill your dreams. You are Never Alone You take important people with you. You remember and rehearse conversations. You may squander huge time and energy obsessing about might-have-beens and if-onlys. You are haunted - and you give your ghosts time, energy and space in your life. Within your consciousness, nobody is missing and nobody dies - only bodies. This can be a curse and a blessing. The curse is that you may obsess about past or unpleasant relationships. The blessing is that you can clean up your relationships - even with dead and missing people. And in a relationship yoga, you can build deep and lasting happiness that transcends death Relationship Abuse Some people are skilled at distracting you from your life. Instead of considering how you may increase your long-term happiness - you consider short term substitutes. You may ponder products that merely hint at pleasure. Use this toothpaste to improve your partnership. Make your family happy with this furniture. Love your children by buying this hamburger. Impress your friends by drinking that beer. Within such toxic wastes, your love is reduced to what you buy. In a technological age, some people learn how to create computer connections and ignore how to create human connections. No knowledge can relieve you of responsibility to live your life. Although sometimes you may get lost as the blind follow the greedy; you can stop and reorient to happiness that is hidden in plain sight. Sometimes, in our desire to be loved, we play games. We may act like children or victims. Such games have high stakes. We gamble with our health, our integrity and our happiness - and we cannot ever win. Yet the games can be so intense that we forget that we are playing. A desire for love can decay into a desire for pity. When an adult says, "I don't know what love is", you may wonder what happened to intimacy, honor and integrity. We wish to share with you some of the things we are learning about long-term happiness. Yoga & Perception Yoga affirms that certain disciplines can liberate you from the limitations of sense and thought, and find true knowledge. Most practitioners of yoga)want to gain knowledge of a universal spirit, called Brahman in India. Yoga physical and mental training offers a spiritual path. The boundaries of your life are the boundaries of your perceptions. You are unlikely to seek what you cannot perceive, nor attempt what you cannot imagine. Perception has external limits and internal rules.
| When we are awake we see everything around us limited by the power of our sense organs, while as we dream, we gravitate between the awakened and the dream states, since we do not dream when we are either in the awakened or in the ‘deep-sleep state’ which is the third state the mind passes through a state in which we are not normally aware of anything that happens around us. Sri Swami Sivananda |
Humans are adept at overcoming external limits - since Galileo's time, for example, people have struggled to overcome the limits of human vision. Overhead, the Hubble space telescope pushes our limits of observation towards the beginning of space and time. Even a space telescope cannot change your rules of perception. You cannot examine what you will notr acknowledge. Your beliefs and emotions influence whether you can see what is under your nose, and whether you believe theories that you cannot test with your senses. But if you challenge your internal rules - you cease to be normal. Your internal rules are blessings from your parents - friends - colleagues - partners - communities. You accepted many of these rules unconsciously, and you use them to participate in a shared subjective experience of interlinked beliefs, values and judgments. This interlinked experience may be called your culture. If you step out of your culture - if you deny or reject shared normality - you are abnormal. Your conversations, actions and reactions become evidence of difference. You are wise to tread gently at your borders of normality. Although your sanity may be questioned, there, outside your mythos, you can change your personality and your karma. (See Chaos & Identity). Relationship Yoga
| Somebody becomes closer and dearer to you as you understand them better. If they understand you, they enjoy the closeness of the relationship. If you understand them better, then you enjoy the closeness ... With your understanding, you can create situations where the other person would be able to understand you better. If you’re expecting other person to understand and comply with you all the time while you don’t understand the limitations, the possibilities, the needs and capabilities of that person, then conflict is all that will happen. Unfortunately, the closest relationships in the world have more conflicts than between enemies. (Mystics Musings by Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev) |
Whenever you choose to share your mind, heart and perhaps your body with another human being, you will find conflicts, unrealistic expectations and fears. Yet, in a yoga of love, each of these offer you a step towards fulfillment. Following the influence of (mostly male) mystics, the goal of enlightenment is often sought through actions, loneliness and thoughtlessness. In a relationship yoga, the goal of fulfillment or shared happiness is attained through reactions, shared love and thoughtfulness. Every relationship includes the karma of each member. Unfulfilled parental expectations, family secrets, suppressed emotions ... people reflect the drama of their ancestors and early family. Although many people are damaged, as they act out their ancestral patterns - they often seek to become whole. Energy Fields & Emotions Many traditional yoga systems refer to invisible energy fields that surround a human body. These energy fields can only be seen by naturally sensitive or especially trained people. As the word energy seems overused and underdefined in yoga, the word emotion may be more accurate. Confusion only arises if you enquire which emotion an experience of energy refers to. Although many people can identify more tastes, colors and sounds than they can identify feelings, most people can at least discriminate between pleasant and unpleasant emotions. If you experience an unpleasant feeling, and name it fear, sadness or anger, you may call it a negative emotion, and try to not feel it. In this way you lose access to huge information. Your emotions exist in the context of your relationships - relationships with people, animals or lifeless things, with further divisions to include relationships with the living, dead, yet unborn and the imagined. Within a yoga of love, emotions are neither stupid nor random. Emotions help you communicate deeper truths than words. If you accept emotions as communication, you can open yourself to a sensitivity that approaches telepathy. Duality Deep intimate relationships are often heterosexual - between a man and a woman - and most partnerships are male-female balanced. Within a partnership you can seek unity - although if unity scares you, you may sabotage intimacy to avoid unity.
| The philosophy of Tantra yoga is based on duality. Form is a union of Siva and Sakti, the positive and the negative. The ancient Puranas, Manusmriti and Mahabharata state that in the beginning, a universal Brahmanda, split into two, the Cosmic Man and the Cosmic Woman - Siva and Sakti. ... According to the doctrine of Tantra, sorrow is caused by a bi-polar existence, a split of the one into two, because the truth of things is oneness and not the dual existence in any of its forms. ... To get back from duality to unity is the process of Tantra Sadhana. Sri Swami Krishnananda |
[ Sexual Health ] [ Soul Mentorship ] [ Meaning of Life ] Chakras & Relationships Chakras are locations in a human body which many people believe to have mystical properties. Chakras are part of many Eastern philosophies that have been adopted in the West. When you discuss relationships, you probably spontaneously use your hands to point at certain parts of your body. The body positions that you mark are probably the same as the chakras of mystics.
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Chakra
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Relationship
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Task
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| Crown |
Humanity |
Bring communities to harmony |
| Forehead |
Community |
Motivate families to cooperate |
| Neck |
Parenthood |
Support children's independence |
| Heart |
Partnership |
Commitment to each other |
| Solar Plexus |
Teamwork |
Cooperate together |
| Abdomen |
Friendship |
Accept certain people as special |
| Groin |
Infancy |
Accept self & other humans |
Relationship Meditation You can think forever about what was said and what it meant. In relationship yoga you can also ask your relationship chakras for a nonverbal summary of your relationships. Or you can communicate with your body-mind by focusing on your feelings. If you do this while pondering each relationship type, you can expect what Gendlin calls a felt sense in each relationship chakra. You can understand each relationship type and gain an overall sense of life from finding a felt sense of all relationship types together. See Focusing.
| Sometimes, you need a relationship with somebody who can see the light of all your possibilities and say "You really can ... I believe you can" and you will move mountains. Teresa Mocna (Soulwork Trainer) |
Relationship Coaching & Yoga of Love Loving relationships are the path and the goal of a yoga of love; and lasting love requires unusual clarity. Through clarification we can each find a bridge across forever - a bridge to integrity. Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? We can train you to coach individuals, partners and teams to change relationship habits and resolve a wide range of emotional, educational and relationship challenges. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 2005 All rights reserved.
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