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Choose a Coach ... Wisely
Compare Quality and Efficiency Martyn Carruthers

Online Life Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Training

Coaching and training on solving relationship problems,
partnership problems and emotional problems.

Healthy Relationships

Can you imagine relationships in which you can express your highest values and your deepest qualities? If you ignore relationship problems, you may destroy potentially wonderful relationships; you may suffer for years; and you may never enjoy the lasting happiness that could have been yours.

Sooner or later, relationship coaching will be right for you ... when you want to attract a healthy partner, resolve a crisis, avoid worsening a conflict or improve a relationship. Do you want to end pointless arguments? Reduce or eliminate conflicts? Increase trust and sharing? You're in the right place.

Seek the experienced, not the studious Arabic Proverb

Many helping professionals and lots of other people ... offer relationship coaching. Some even have experience. Here are some questions to ask when choosing which type of coaching is best for you:

Questions to Ask ... and Our Answers

  1. Why did they become relationship coaches?
  2. What do relationship counselors really offer?
  3. What have they published about their experience?
  4. What percentage of their practice is relationship coaching?
  5. What techniques of relationship coaching do they use?
  6. Will they describe a typical session?
  7. Will they help you manage problems?
  8. Will we help you have better relationships?
  9. How long, on average, is their relationship coaching?
  10. Will they meet you together or only individually?

1. Why did we become relationship coaches?

In 1988, we started offering success coaching and expert modeling in sport, business and education. By 1992 we noticed that the most profound limitations and blocks to progress, success and happiness were beliefs, emotional problems and relationship issues - even emotions and relationships from the distant past.

Family traditions and habits, previous commitments and unfulfilled promises, abandoned responsibilities and reckless love affairs ... all these contribute to relationship and career chaos. In organizations; mergers and near-bankruptcies; lay-offs and takeovers can scar both management and employees.

We began to specialize in changing beliefs, resolving emotional problems and solving relationship conflicts. We started helping motivated adults explore their emotional problems and reach healthy relationship goals.

2. What do we offer you?

Our work is open-ended and goal-oriented. We can help you to clarify your relationships and set relationship goals. We can help you take specific steps to solve relationship problems, manage difficult emotions and co-create a wonderful partnership.

We can help you explore your goals and your complaints, your history and your hopes. We can focus on your responsibilities. and help you end self-sabotage . We can help you enjoy appropriate intimacy and peaceful connections.

3. What have we written about our specialties?

We have written hundreds of articles and internet resources about our systems coaching and relationship counseling. If you wish, you can read some of our articles on healthy partnership, parenthood and systemic management on the web. See the column on the left of this web page for a partial list.

Soulwork Explained . Soulwork Evaluated

4. How much of our practice is relationship coaching?

We provide training, online sessions and systems coaching (couple, family and team) . There is some overlap - many individual goals require couple or team coaching; and our systems coaching often includes resolving individual issues.

At least 50% of our work is helping people manage relationship issues, change limiting beliefs and solve emotional challenges. We spend about 30% of our time training people to provide relationship coaching ... and we continue to develop better coaching and counseling strategies.

5. What kind of relationship counseling do we use?

Our relationship counseling is systemic (relating to groups of connected people including their environment and history). Even simple human systems often require systemic coaching strategies. For example, a married couple wished to "make love not war" - yet both partners brought their previous relationships into their marriage -  especially their relationships with their parents and past partners.

We help people discover where their relationships are now... and what they want ... and how to get from here to there. It sounds so easy ... doesn't it?

6. Can we describe typical relationship coaching sessions?

We meet people in person or online, to explore goals and prepare for relationship coaching. We help people define their key goals and their complaints ... privately and without interference.

We help people explore what really stops them getting what they want. We investigate what skills they need and whether they are sabotaging themselves. We help people identify emotional entanglements and/or limiting beliefs that hold them back.

We explore relationship ecology - how individual changes may affect partnership, other family members and colleagues - and we help people fine-tune their relationships with important or significant people.

7. Will we help you manage relationship problems?

We help people solve problems and end conflicts. We notice how past problems and expected future difficulties show up in relationships. We coach couples to express thoughts or emotions about their past and future - and deal with the conflicts and discussions that candor and honesty often provoke.

You already know the motivation and attention that is necessary to excel. You will continue in the last direction that you chose ... until you choose a better direction. If you are ready to create happy, healthy relationships, perhaps you are ready to solve emotional problems that prevented you moving ahead.

8. Will we help you have better relationships?

Yes - if you are adult, motivated and ready to work. We can show you how to develop relationship skills in: Family; Friendship; Teamwork; Partnership; Parenthood and Community. We can offer you homework to reinforce learning. We can help you continue your relationship journey. We coach people to coach each other!

9. How long do relationships require coaching?

We offer short-term crisis coaching and longer-term counseling to help you change old habits and limiting beliefs. Long-term mentorship is also available, to help you fine-tune ongoing relationship problems. More time may be required for people with emotional problems that limit their participation in important relationships.

The time needed will reflect your age, your emotional maturity, your physical health and how many problems you want to solve. You will have many opportunities to move through any troubles and discover what is true about yourself, your partner and your ongoing relationship.

10. Will we meet you individually or together?

Our individual coaching supports individual happiness. We offer individual coaching to adult members of relationship systems; and couple coaching to both partners of a partnership. We also offer systems coaching to parents of families, and leaders of teams and organizations.

We prefer to work with both partners together; and if with families or teams - with as many members of the family or team as possible - together. We find it better to first sort out individual blocks and issues privately ... and then move on using our systems coaching for the couple, family or team.

Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2002-2018
All rights reserved.

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention or

For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email