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Case Histories

Sexual Abuse & Sexual Assault

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What is Child Sexual Abuse?

Child sexual abuse occurs when adults use children for sexual gratification. Sexual abuse may begin with kissing or fondling, and progress to intrusive sexual acts, such as oral sex and vaginal or anal penetration. It may be combined with emotional abuse that destroys a child’s self-respect, for example repeated verbal abuse such as shouting, threats, and degrading or humiliating criticism, emotional incest and emotional blackmail.

[ Emotional Incest ] [ Emotional Blackmail ] [ Child Abuse ]

What is Sexual Assault?

Sexual assault refers to sexual intercourse or attempted intercourse carried out against a person’s desire by the use or threat of physical force. If a man forces a woman who is not his wife to sexual intercourse against her will, he commits rape. In some countries, rape includes sexual intercourse without force, but without agreement, with a spouse.

What causes Sexual Perversions?

[ Mother - Son Problems ] [ Father - Daughter Problems ]

1. Psychoanalytic Models

In 1895, Sigmund Freud wrote about the consequences of sexual abuse, claiming that boys are sexually attracted to their mothers, and girls to their fathers. Freud tried to explain sex offenders - "castration anxiety is a failure to resolve an Oedipus Complex which causes feelings of sexual inadequacy and a need to be sexually dominant". Hence sexual offences would be parenting failures.

The psychoanalytic model places the blame of childhood sexual abuse and incest on the child and the mother, (which may represent Freud's biography). Freud's models strongly influence psychiatry. Although widely used by psychiatrists, the psychoanalytic model is limited:

• No explanations for father-son or mother-daughter sexual abuse, for incest by other family members nor for sexual assaults by neighbors, teachers, clergy or family friends.
• Mothers and children are blamed for childhood sexual abuse, not the abusers.
• Sex offenders or rapists are seen as mentally sick, even though the vast majority of perverts show no symptoms of other mental illness.

[ Consequences of Abortion ] [ End Addictions ] [ Parental Alienation ]

2. Victim Encouragement

A victim may encourage rape through verbal and non-verbal behavior, for example by walking alone. A woman accepting a dinner invitation or a lift home, or visiting a male friend at his home or inviting a male friend into her own home may be rationalized by a rapist as consent for sex. Vocal refusals of sex may be perceived as "sex games" and ignored.

• The victim is blamed for the responsibility for sexual assault
• Men may deceive women and hide their intention to have sex
• Men may force women to participate in sexual behavior

[ Relationship Bonds ] [ Stress Disorders ]

3. Family Dysfunction & Incest

Incest is seen as a symptom of a sick family, and all family members are responsible for allowing it to occur. Incest, in a dysfunctional family, is covertly used to keep a family together. Family dysfunction theory has been adopted by many government authorities.

Users of this model see the mother as a dysfunctional wife who does not fulfill her husband's sexual needs, nor protect her children from him. She absents herself either emotionally or physically from her children by absence through work or illness, or by being emotionally and/or sexually frigid.

Despite wide acceptance, the family dysfunction model:

• Does not explain other forms of sexual abuse
• Does not explain two thirds of child sexual abuse
• Regards incest as a symptom that keeps a dysfunctional family together
• Minimizes or denies the devastating effects of incest on a child
• Proposes that a father has a right to be sexually serviced by females
• Argues that a father imposes sexual demands on whoever does the housework

Mothers rarely ignore incest. In America, about 75% of mothers react to disclosed incest and 60% take immediate action, in contrast to the predictions of this popular model.

4. Psychological Models

Psychological models focus on identifying the personality profile and motivations of sex offenders. Some personality characteristics have been associated with sexual abuse.

• introverted or withdrawn behavior (few or no friends)
• feelings of masculine inadequacy
• need to dominate and control family relationships
• often adept at lies, evasions, excuses, justifications and blame

Research shows that abusers come from all social backgrounds; and do not suffer from known mental illnesses, nor do they necessarily have other criminal tendencies. This model perceives sexual abuse against women and children as normal male behavior.

5. Societal Models

Social change can eliminate child abuse and sexual assault, by changing:

• the balance of power between men and women
• the balance of power between adults and children
• abusers' responsibility for sexual assault

Societal models explain sexual assault in terms of social structures. Abuse is considered to be a facet of a patriarchal society, and sexual abuse and sexual assault are a result of legal, social, economic and political systems which enforce male dominance over women and children. These models predict that men ...

1. see wives and children as property
2. express dependency through sex
3. use sex to reconfirm their sense of self
4. are stimulated by the genitals of preferred sexual objects
5. desire sexual partners who are younger and smaller than themselves

This approach does assign responsibility to a sexual abuser, but argues that socialization contributes to sexual abuse and that women and children are passive, vulnerable and unable to resist.

6. Systemic Coach Training

The Soulwork model includes systemic factors about the victim, the abuser and the family as well as social and cultural factors. Soulwork provides a flexible framework which places responsibility with the abuser, while recognizing the influences of the abuser's history, family and culture.

Soulwork Systemic Coaching offers solutions for both the victims and perpetrators of sexual abuse and sexual assault.

Prevent Sexual Abuse with Soulwork