This page is for
helping professionals and responsible adults.
If sexual education offends you, please retreat now.
We help people who suffer from sexual issues,
and wish to manage or resolve issues of sexual intimacy.
We help people manage
relationship problems and emotional disturbances.
Back to Page 1: Sexual Education & Harassment
Back to Page 2: Sexual Abuse & Addictions
Many couples who cannot create babies either accept their fate;
arrange in-vitro fertilization, create a child with a surrogate partner, or
adopt a child. If infertility is psychosomatic or emotional - we can help people
manage many emotional or relationship problems that may prevent conception.
A common entanglement related to infertility is dead person
identification. If someone died in such a way that family members feel
guilt - the family may avoid discussing the dead person. We find that family
guilt about suicides and abortions are often at the root of this systemic problem.
If a young child identifies with a dead person, some common
signs of dead person identification are existential melancholy or
sadness and obsessions about death and dying. It seems that some people
may become infertile to break or end cross-generational chains of
12. Masturbation (Sexual Independence?)
Excessive or compulsive masturbation may cause tissue damage
and relationship distress. Masturbation is a common way of coping with
uncontrolled emotions, including boredom and loneliness. Masturbation
can become more like a drug fix than a sexual experience, and can distract
people from important activities - for example family, education,
friends, hobbies and sports.
Some indicators of excessive harmful masturbation are:
- Guilt about the use of pornography
- Abrasions or bruises of delicate tissues
- Interference with a personís work or activities
- Nervous tissue may be drained of acetylcholine
We can help people change addictive or excessive masturbation before
they damage their sexual organs or their important relationships. Our
work depends a person's mental, physical, marital and social health,
age, interests and goals.
Menopause translates as end of monthly cycles from
Greek words, and usually refers to the end of a woman's reproductive potential.
The average age of onset is about 48 years, but menopause may begin anywhere
between age 40 and 54. (An artificial menopause can be caused by removing
or damaging a woman's ovaries.)
The onset of menopause results in missed periods, irregular
periods, bleeding, varying lengths of periods, or changes in menstrual flow.
During menopause the ovaries produce smaller amounts of the hormone estrogen.
This probably causes the flushes, or hot flashes, that characterize this time.
Menopausal nervousness, headaches, or dizziness may have
emotional origins stemming from fears of aging, changing life patterns
and family relationships. Weight gain may follow an increased desire for
food with less physical activity. We can help people control many of
their emotional reactions.
14. Male Menopause (Andropause)
Although men do not experience a well-defined
menopause, aging men produce less male hormone androgen (testosterone).
Some people refer to this decline as a male
menopause or andropause.
Men's testosterone levels gradually decline -
about 1% annually after age 30 - so by age 70, men's testosterone level
may be reduced by 50%. Along with a testosterone decline, some men
experience fatigue, weakness, sexual problems and depression. Lowered
testosterone may also accompany medical conditions, such as diabetes or
(During our trainings, some women have remarked
that this marks the end of male testosterone poisoning, and that older
men can finally become mature adults!)
Testosterone replacement therapy may help revive
interest in sex, and perhaps decrease depression and fatigue. But, testosterone
replacement supplements may worsen prostate cancer.
Some lifestyle changes, such as an improved diet
or exercise program, may help control the symptoms of male menopause.
Antidepressant medications may be prescribed to men whose sense of life is
diminished by their reduced sexuality.
Suggested Supplements for Older Men
- Zinc is said to be essential for
- Vitamin E improves circulation
and can help lower blood cholesterol.
- Calcium is essential for muscle
contraction, blood clotting and heart function.
- Beta carotene is converted into
vitamin A, which is essential for sexual health.
- Magnesium is essential for life, and helps produce dopamine and
acetylcholine, both required for sexual arousal.
Ask your doctor
about the appropriateness of supplements
15. Physical, Covert & Emotional Incest
Sexual intercourse between a father and daughter, a mother and son, or a
brother and sister is almost universally forbidden. Sexual relations between
an uncle and niece, or between an aunt and nephew are often taboo, and intimate
relations between first cousins are prohibited in some countries.
Incest, whether physical or covert, hurts people. In many cultures,
relationships between mothers and their first sons, and between
fathers and their youngest daughters are often considered to be special.
Also, if a parent wants to leave the family, a child (usually the
opposite sex) may be chosen to become a substitute for the missing parent.
See Father-Daughter Bonds and
Healing the consequences of covert emotional incest may be complicated.
Children who are bonded to adults may feel special, idealized and privileged,
and see themselves as helpers or providers. Although, many health professionals
believe that psychological damage cannot occur without physical,
sexual contact - we find that emotional damage can have enormous
influence over people's lives.
Physical incest between parents and children, or
brothers and sisters is not as common as covert emotional incest,
but the consequences seem to be more damaging. Psychosomatic
diseases seem more frequent following incest, particularly asthma,
anorexia and bulimia. We help abused people pull themselves together
and plan happy partnership and parenthood.
16. Sexual Obsessions, Sex Addiction & Suffering
Sexual obsessions are common. We find that sexual addictions
often have a systemic component, in which the sex addict is fulfilling the
frustrated or repressed sexual desires of a sexual abuser (from early childhood),
perhaps by a parent or some other relative. This may result in chronic anger,
in which anger is at first expressed to a specific victimizer, and later
generalized to all victimizers.
A sex addict may say that the choice of partner is irrelevant
and that only sexual gratification is important. Little or no effort is wasted
on shared intimacy or mutual caring. Instead there is an urge to masturbate
or copulate, and leave - perhaps with elements of sadism and masochism.
We help people manage sexual addictions.
However, some adults addicted to sex enjoy their feelings of power, and do
not want to change, regardless of the consequences.
Some people prefer to suffer and to cause suffering.
If you need help with emotional or relationship
issues, contact us.
Online Life Coaching & Counseling for Sexual Difficulties
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers
2004-2017 All rights reserved