We help people solve relationship problems
that often cause or underlie sexual issues.
Sex & Motivation
Human motivation and creativity reflect
human sexuality. We help people find
healthy partners, become good parents, protect children and raise
children to become independent. We also help adults
unblock their creativity and sexuality.
As sexuality touches almost every part of life, any issue
connected to sexuality will generate emotional and political controversy.
While pornography and masturbation are often called victimless
crimes, we find that the victims are the partners and children
of sex addicts; the wives, sons and daughters who find themselves
burdened with blocks to maturity and sexual happiness.
Repression leads to Obsession
After millennia of sexual repression, many people are obsessed with sex, and
express their sexuality chaotically. For us, sexual obsessions include
attempts to control the sexual expressions of other people. People who
try to control your sexual behavior - are trying to control your life.
Sex is often a forbidden obsession. Murder, robbery, pollution, corruption
and wasted resources are common themes for TV and cinema, even for for young
audiences, yet obsessed people strive to censor and control
other people's expressions of sexuality.
The hypocrisy can be stunning. An exposed female breast during a football
game outraged the nation that creates most of the world's pornography ...
a nation in which carrying guns is legal and murder is acceptable
children's television viewing.
If children cannot discuss and assimilate
thoughts, emotions and motivations about sex, those children often have to deal
with sexual obsessions during and following adolescence. The possibility
of delayed sexual dysfunction is high for children who have been taught to
associate sexual thoughts with guilt, punishment or disgrace.
Sexual pleasure is or will become an important topic to you and to
those people with whom you share significant relationships. Your sexuality ...
including trying to ignore it ... will have enormous impact on your
self-image and on your family.
As emotional changes affect your
relationships, we often help people deal with:
- Sexual Abuse
- Sexual Harassment by Health Professionals
- Sexual Dysfunction: Impotence and Frigidity
Solutions for many other sexual health issues can be found at
Solutions. We also offer pre-abortion and post-abortion counseling to help
people avoid the consequences of abortion and
Relationship Diagnosis & Sexual Addictions
We help people identify and manage sexual
addictions. Many sexual issues include obsessions - often to childhood fantasies
about parents and family members, about unrequited love and about past-partners.
Many sexual problems seem to be based in
covert emotional incest.
I am 64 and I never married. You asked
me if I was ever in love, and I told you about my teenage romance. You asked me
if I had ever let go of that girl - and no I never did. I always feel her
in my arms - always beautiful - always wanting to play. I was shocked to
realize that holding her memory stopped me building relationships with real women.
Some adults cling to fantasies from adolescence or early adulthood ... and we
often find that these fantasies can damage later relationships. We can help
people change old fantasies and refocus on their
current or potential sexual partners.
What is Sex Addiction?
Sex addiction can include:
excessive masturbation, internet pornography, using prostitutes, voyeurism,
exhibitionism, multiple sexual affairs, serial relationships, and obsessing
about other people's sexual behavior.
Do you use sexuality as an escape from boredom or as a way to
feel good? Sex can become an attempt to compensate for pain and feeling
unworthy. Over time, sexual behavior may show the damaging consequences of
addiction: preoccupation, compulsive behavior, despair and
Are you a Sex Addict?
Has your work, education or relationships suffered because of your
sexual fantasies or activities? Do you live a double life?
Some signs are:
- Do you keep secrets about your sexuality from people you love?
- Do you feel compelled to have sex repeatedly in a
short time frame?
- Do you want to leave a sex partner after sex?
Do you feel shame or guilt?
- Can you stop your sexual behavior if there are unpleasant
- Do you spend your life obtaining sex, being sexual or
recovering from sex?
We help people change destructive sexual urges and find healthier ways to
enjoy life. We help people change sexual compulsions and addictions -
rapidly and with humor.
Sexual Harassment at Work
Sexuality in the workplace is a touchy subject - the number of
lawsuits concerning sexual harassment appears to be increasing.
We offer Team Coaching at the workplace or at retreats
where teams can be together with minimal disturbances. It can be cost-effective
to invite one of us to join an annual meeting or conference. We can
offer a package of short workshops, team coaching and individual
sessions over a few days.
Lesbians, Bisexual and Gay
Most women seek non-sexual intimate relationships with other women,
and some women strive to fulfill their emotional needs and sexual
desires through other women. Some women fantasize lesbian activity
but do not follow through with their fantasies.
Some men seek other men for sexual pleasure. This
may start as a search for fathers, brothers or
vanishing twins ... or to
avoid dark entanglements with mothers.
Homosexual men are increasingly coming out of their closets.
I have not met any homosexual people who wanted
to change their sexual orientation to heterosexual. Like most adults,
they are usually seeking a sense of wholeness within relationships.
All human couples have predictable problems, regardless of sexual
orientation ... we coach gay and lesbian couples too.
My daughter is lesbian and I don't know what
to do. How can I make her change?
I can't tell people that I have a lesbian daughter - they might blame me.
While few people, gay, straight or bi, want to
change their sexual orientation, we help people redefine their
relationships with their family members and with other adults.
We help people to manage emotional, relationship and sexual problems.
We don't criticize or give unwanted advice on your sexual choices - unless you
hurt children - rather we help people resolve emotional conflicts and manage
You need not feel alone as you seek your way through the sexual labyrinth. Sex
is an essential part of human relationships - and has been terribly distorted
Contact us to solve emotional and relationship issues.
Life Coaching, Counseling & Systemic Therapy
Please consult your physician about medical symptoms
or medical conditions.
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2004-2017
All rights reserved