Are you entangled in difficult relationships or painful emotions?
Single Parenting Problems (Continued in Single Parents)
Single parenting is sometimes a challenge, accepted with good
intentions (look how strong I am!). Later it may become overwhelming. People
deciding to raise children alone need financial resources, emotional stability
and wisdom to fulfill one's own life and a parental role.
Good intentions are rarely enough. Many single parents lose
themselves in duties and problems, and often lack parenting skills.
They may need to learn how to make enough money, how to talk with children,
how to share with other parents, how to deal with their own strong emotions.
Many people offer abstract or ineffective advice to single parents,
advice which may be quite useless. We focus on managing emotions and solving
- How can you teach a child to love a missing parent?
- How can you end a crisis and come back to normal life?
- How can you feel good about your dead, missing or absent partner?
- How can you honor your children's other parent - if you feel
- How can you stay joyful, if you cry for hours before
your children come home?
- How can you care for children when you lack the energy
to look after yourself?
Solving Problems for Parents
Answering these questions are not easy and there are no foolproof
recipes. Each family is unique and problems need specific,
appropriate solutions. Not all fathers who leave a family are monsters, not all
mothers are the best choice for raising children, and not all helping
Sometimes parents seem less mature than their children. Sometimes good
parents of young children cannot cope with teenagers. In our systemic
psychology, we look carefully for long term solutions, which enable parents raise
their children, even if separated from each other. We help people find new
shapes of love - between the partners and for the children.
Many parents who leave the family stop expressing love toward
the children because of guilt. Many parents who stay with children feel unable
to express love toward another parent because of anger (I lose my freedom and
you get it back).
Many children cannot express love to a parent who leaves a family -
feeling blocked by the parent who raised them (Mom might be angry
if I feel good about Dad)
I didn't know how to talk to my
daughter about her father. I felt so angry that I could only criticize
him. After two sessions with you, I could tell her good stories
about her father ... My daughter relaxed a lot. She can now
smile and laugh with her Dad. Thank you! Essex
Children of Single Parents
Some people, after separation or a partner's death, are so
overwhelmed by emotions that they stop supporting their children,
especially when their children are quiet.
Your children may distract themselves and say little, which you
may interpret that the children don't understand or don't care about
what's happening. Yet withdrawal often means that the children are in
deep distress, pretending disinterest while hoping for miracles. Few
children can verbally express their feelings about their parents'
separation, or about the absence or death of a parent.
Children need patience and wisdom and special
care when their parents split. Many people ask their parents or
relatives to look after the children for a time, while they sort out
their finances and emotions.
Compare this California report with your
hopes for your children's happiness ...
- 63% of youth suicides are from
- 85% of all youths in prison are
from fatherless homes
- 71% of all high school dropouts are from
- 71% of teenage pregnancies are to
children of single parents
- 75% of children in single-parent
families will experience poverty
- 85% of all children with
behavior disorders are from fatherless homes
- 90% of all homeless and runaway
children are from fatherless homes
- 75% of all adolescents in chemical abuse
centers are from fatherless homes
. Children of Divorce
Manage Negative Emotions
Every parent's nightmare is that their children are harmed and
this nightmare can cause parents to lose sleep and be overprotective.
We help people heal their
and deal with sadness, anger, anxiety and other unpleasant emotions.
Continued in Single Parents
Contact us to resolve emotional and
Online Coaching, Relationship Counseling & Systemic Therapy
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers,
2004-2017 All rights reserved