Martyn Carruthers presents interactive seminars and workshops on systemic coaching, relationship happiness, resolving family chaos and soul work. Would you like a seminar or workshop in your area?

What is Soul in Soulwork Systemic Coaching?

During the creation of what we now call Soulwork Systemic Coaching, we found a way to help mature adults access and stabilize an important life resource - a sense of being that need not diminish over time (like motivation) ... that can be experienced by motivated people in any life context.

We help adults live lives that make sense. Starting with an evaluation of relationships and goals - soul work begins when a person accesses an experience we call integrity - or connectedness or Soul.

Soul is difficult to define. (My best attempts are in Psychobiology of Soul and Chaos Coaching.)

Soul as a stable experience of integrity

Soul refers to an experience, not to a theory, philosophy or personality. You may call this experience “the real you” or “your true self” - although not egotistically. Soulwork provides ways to stabilize this experience of connectedness as part of your everyday life.

During Soulwork systemic coaching, a first experience of Soul may be delightfully shocking. People are at a loss to describe it, except perhaps in abstract metaphors. A next step is to stabilize Soul experience so that it can be experienced at will, independent of a coach or anyone else.

Soul as a stable experience of connectedness

Soul refers to an experience of integrity and connectedness. People describe feeling connected to other people (such as children or a partner), to all humans, to all living things, to the planet, or to the universe. They may say illogical sentences such as "I am a tiny part of the whole - and the whole is me". Soulwork helps people sort through the many varieties of ecstatic experiences to find integrity.

Soul as a stable experience of integration

People may act as if they are fragmented. They may say “I don’t like the part of me that...” or "Part of me wants to - but part of me doesn't". Soulwork can help people integrate these "identity fragments" or "personality parts" to recreate the identity that existed before fragmentation. With Soulwork people can acknowledge and integrate the wisdom from which "parts" were created and maintained.

Soul as a stable experience of identity

During Soul experience people can evaluate relationships and life-goals, and choose how to maintain relationships that support sense of life. "Ego" becomes a perceptual position within a matrix of relationships. Clarity, responsibility and honesty characterize decisions made from Soul.

Soul experience can guide meaningful life

People may describe Soul as “the true me” or “my highest potential”. Some people visualize a perfected self-image, or hear a compelling voice of conscience, while others have experiences apparently similar to those called enlightenment, satori or Samadhi.

The experience called Soul seems to bridge the abstract experience of connectedness and the specific details of everyday life. Unlike static transcendental experiences (e.g. joy, pleasure, orgasm), people can refer to Soul experience for insight, guidance and integrity during important decisions.

Soul experience can guide evaluation of relationships

Many people connect to other family members with toxic relationship bonds. These bonds represent conditions for relationships, although people often avoid recognizing their bonds (we often call them taboo bonds or thoughtforms). People can evaluate relationship bonds from Soul, and gain freedom from strong, unpleasant emotions and unwanted habits.

Soul experience can guide evaluation of experiences

Soulwork helps people live lives that make sense. Each experience, no matter how apparently toxic, can become a valuable learning opportunity. You can resolve abusive or traumatic experiences and use unpleasant experiences to motivate the fulfillment of your goals.

If you have important and congruent (no objections) goals, you may find that each step to a goal increases your sense of fulfillment associated with that goal. There seems to be no limit to the happiness of fulfilling a human life.

What Soul is not...

The experience that we call Soul in Soulwork has little in common with psychological theories, metaphysics or philosophical discussions. The Soul of Soulwork is a stable experience of integrity, integration and connection that can be used to guide life decisions towards lasting happiness.

However, the word Soul can be used in many ways. In the context of Soulwork Systemic Coaching; there are some things that Soul is not ... (including music, food and winged beings).

Soul experience is not a philosophical construct

We have no interest or desire in persuading people. Soul experience is readily available to adults who have not lost identity following brain damage or unresolved trauma.

Soul experience is not a personality part

Soul seems closer to that which connects your parts, and connects you to other people. This  “connectedness” is neither you nor another. Soul seems closer to the experience of resonance when you and another person accept or love each other unconditionally.

Soul may be described as a multi-dimensional experience of connectedness that is simultaneously the source of connectedness - and your experience of being connected.

During Soulwork, emotions are accepted as representations of inner personality parts and of outer relationships. We do not recognize "bad feelings" or "negative emotions", although we recognize that some unpleasant emotions may motivate aberrant behavior (e.g. substance abuse etc). Accepting emotions as communication is a step towards experiencing Soul.

Soul experience is not inner dialogue

The functions of inner dialog seem to be to learn from the past, to analyze the present and to plan the future. Uncontrolled inner dialog may be experienced as endless internal commentary, self-criticism or even psychosis. In Soul experience, people may say, “It’s quiet inside me!” or "The world has stopped!" (This is a goal of many transcendental meditations and philosophies.)

Soul experience is not a desire

You may have desires related to survival, family, power, success or community. You may have desires that you are afraid to fulfill - because, "There would be nothing left to life for!". Relationship Coaching can help you find “ultimate” desires, which you may describe as, “This is how I want to fulfill my life!"

Soul experience is not ego

“Ego” can be likened to an adolescent personality, dissociated from identity. Soul might be described as an ego of the ego - an experience of life before education and cultural traditions. Soul can also be described as anti-ego, in Soul human consciousness seems to become a perceptual viewpoint that can move between members of human systems.

A ruin, a mountain scene, a country garden or a home may be places where you can look at the world with a sense of magic, a sense of mystery, and better access to the sense of life that we call Soul.

Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996 All rights reserved.