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Martyn Carruthers
presents interactive seminars and workshops on
systemic coaching, relationship happiness, resolving family chaos and
soul work. Would you like training in your area?
What is Soul in Soulwork Systemic Coaching?
During the creation of what we now call Soulwork Systemic
Coaching, we found a way to help mature adults access and stabilize an
important life resource - a
sense of being that need not diminish over time (like motivation) ... that
can be experienced by motivated people in any life context.
We help adults live lives that make sense. Starting with an evaluation of
relationships and goals - soul work begins
when a person accesses an experience we call integrity - or connectedness
or Soul.
Soul is difficult to define. (My best attempts are in
Psychobiology of Soul and
Chaos Coaching.)
Soul as a stable experience of integrity
Soul refers to an experience, not to a theory, philosophy or
personality. You may call
this experience “the real you” or “your true self”
- although not egotistically. Soulwork provides ways to
stabilize this experience of connectedness as part of your everyday life.
During Soulwork systemic coaching, a first experience of Soul may be
delightfully shocking.
People are at a
loss to describe it, except perhaps in abstract metaphors. A next step is to stabilize
Soul experience so that it can be experienced at will,
independent of a coach or anyone else.
Soul as a stable experience of connectedness
Soul refers to an experience of integrity and connectedness.
People describe feeling connected to
other people (such as children or a partner), to all humans,
to all living things, to the planet, or to
the universe. They may say illogical sentences such as "I am a tiny
part of the whole - and the whole is me". Soulwork helps people sort
through the many varieties of ecstatic experiences to find integrity.
Soul as a stable experience of integration
People may act as if they are fragmented. They
may say “I don’t like the part of me that...” or "Part of me
wants to - but part of me doesn't". Soulwork
can help people integrate these "identity fragments" or
"personality parts" to recreate the identity that existed
before fragmentation. With Soulwork people can acknowledge
and integrate the wisdom from which "parts"
were created and maintained.
Soul as a stable experience of identity
During Soul experience people can evaluate relationships and life-goals,
and choose how to maintain relationships that support sense of life.
"Ego" becomes a perceptual position within a matrix of relationships.
Clarity, responsibility and honesty characterize decisions made from Soul.
Soul experience can guide meaningful life
People may describe Soul as “the true me” or
“my highest potential”. Some people visualize a perfected self-image,
or hear a compelling voice of conscience, while others have experiences
apparently similar to those called enlightenment, satori or
Samadhi.
The experience called Soul seems to bridge the abstract experience of
connectedness and the specific details of everyday life. Unlike static
transcendental experiences (e.g. joy, pleasure, orgasm), people can
refer to Soul experience for insight, guidance and integrity
during important decisions.
Soul experience can guide evaluation of relationships
Many people connect to other family members with toxic relationship bonds. These bonds represent
conditions for relationships, although people often avoid recognizing
their bonds (we often call them taboo bonds or thoughtforms).
People can evaluate relationship bonds from Soul, and gain freedom from strong,
unpleasant
emotions and unwanted habits.
Soul experience can guide evaluation of experiences
Soulwork helps people live lives that make sense. Each experience, no matter how
apparently toxic, can become a valuable learning opportunity. You can resolve
abusive or traumatic experiences and use unpleasant experiences to motivate the fulfillment of your goals.
Soul experience can guide life fulfillment
If you have important and congruent (no objections) goals, you may find that
each step to a goal increases your sense of
fulfillment associated with that goal. There seems to be no limit to the
happiness of fulfilling a human life.
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Integrity, the Soul of Soulwork, seems to be forever available as an
experience of connectedness that can help people make make important decisions
and fulfill life.
Soul provides a basis for "love without
sympathy" - even sympathy for self. |
The experience that we call Soul in Soulwork has little in common with psychological
theories, metaphysics or philosophical discussions. The Soul of Soulwork is a
stable experience of integrity, integration and connection
that can be used to guide life decisions towards lasting happiness.
However,
the word Soul can be used in many ways. In the context of Soulwork Systemic
Coaching; there are some things that Soul is not ... (including music, food and
winged beings).
Soul experience is not a philosophical construct
We have no interest or desire in persuading people. Soul
experience is readily available to adults who have not
lost identity following brain damage or unresolved trauma.
Soul experience is not a personality part
Soul seems closer to that which connects your parts,
and connects you to other people. This “connectedness” is neither you nor another. Soul
seems closer to the
experience of resonance when you and another person accept or love each other
unconditionally.
Soul may be described as a multi-dimensional
experience of connectedness that is simultaneously the source of connectedness - and your experience of being connected.
Soul experience is not an emotional state
During Soulwork, emotions are accepted as representations of inner personality parts and of
outer relationships.
We do not recognize "bad feelings" or "negative emotions",
although we recognize that some unpleasant emotions may motivate
aberrant behavior (e.g. substance abuse etc). Accepting emotions as
communication is a step towards experiencing Soul.
Soul experience is not inner dialogue
The functions of inner dialog seem to be to learn
from the past, to analyze the present and to plan the future. Uncontrolled inner
dialog may be experienced as endless internal commentary, self-criticism or even
psychosis. In
Soul experience, people may say, “It’s quiet inside me!” or "The
world has stopped!" (This is a goal of many transcendental meditations
and philosophies.)
Soul experience is not a desire
You may have desires related to survival,
family, power, success or community. You may have desires that you are
afraid to fulfill - because, "There
would be nothing left to life for!". Relationship Coaching can help
you find “ultimate” desires, which you may describe as,
“This is how I want to fulfill my life!"
Soul experience is not ego
“Ego” can be likened to an adolescent personality, dissociated from identity.
Soul might be described as an ego of the ego - an experience of life before
education and cultural traditions. Soul can also be described as anti-ego, in
Soul human consciousness seems to become a perceptual viewpoint that can move between
members of human systems.
Soul is not physical reality
A ruin, a mountain scene, a country garden or a home may be places where you
can look at the world with a sense of magic, a sense of mystery, and better access
to the sense of life that we call Soul.
During Soul experience, some people say that they can examine their lives and relationships with intense passion and with utter
neutrality. Or they may simply say, “I am awake” or "I
am here".
When
experiencing Soul, some people say that they can clearly experience all emotions and
inner sensations, while simultaneously remaining fully aware of all external senses.
[ Chaos Theory &
Soul . Psychobiology of Soul
. Meaning of Life ]
Soul experience is
not an altered state or a dissociated state (as provided by drugs or hypnosis).
People describe being intensely present and
sensitive to environment, relationships and intentions.
Many people describe Soul experience with abstract metaphors.
“I am a drop of water in an infinite ocean”
or “I am a child of the universe”. People who have experienced Soul
may quickly agree, while people who have not experienced Soul
may try to interpret such metaphors literally or analytically.
Soulwork offers effective coaching, training and mentorship.
Do you want to coach people to resolve emotional and relationship challenges?
Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996 All rights
reserved. |
