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Suicidal Thoughts & Feelings

We do not provide online counseling for suicidal people

If you feel suicidal, please take a few minutes to read this. We will not try to talk you out of your bad feelings. We are not psychiatrists nor are we particularly religious - we are just people who know something about suffering ... and about alleviating suffering.

After a suicide of a family member

If you are considering ending your life - we ask you for a few minutes. During these few minutes, you can read a few simple, practical ideas. We won’t argue with you about your thoughts and feelings. If you are considering suicide, you probably feel in a very bad state, with gloomy perceptions of your future and unpleasant inner dialogue.

Depression usually means that
life does not make sense!

Being depressed does not mean that you are crazy or weak. More likely your life just doesn't seem to make much sense.

Life includes many kinds of suffering. Whether your suffering becomes unbearable depends on your resources. Suicidal feelings may result when your suffering seems to exceed your resources. Suicidal thoughts often follow a crisis that exposes a lack of life purpose or no meaning of life.

 You can survive a suicidal crisis
 - if you can make your life make sense!

We wish to share a few thoughts with you.

1. You can get through this - even if you feel as badly as you probably feel.

2. You can give yourself space. You can say, “I will wait a day, or a week, before I decide anything”. Feelings are not actions - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to. Put some distance between your feelings and your behavior.

3. You can find relief from suffering. Remember that you have to be alive to feel that relief.

4. You can understand that people may react badly to your suicidal feelings. Maybe they feel guilty, angry, frightened or sad. Maybe they blame themselves. They are reacting to their own emotions, not to you.

5.Suicidal thoughts and feelings are exhausting. After they subside, you can better care for yourself. Therapy is often a really good idea, as are self-help groups in your community or on the Internet.

6. You can find people who can walk with you through this horrible time. Find people who will not judge you, argue with you, or send you to a hospital. They will simply help you make your life make more sense. Find one. Now. Tell someone what’s going on. It is OK to ask for help.

7. You can talk about how you got to where you are, release a lot of emotional pressure, and regain your balance.

  • USA - call The Samaritans: Call 1-800-SUICIDE
  • USA teenagers - call Covenant House: Call 1-800-999-9999
  • Look in your telephone directory for a crisis number
  • Check out
  • Call a doctor or a therapist
  • Call a friend or a minister, a priest, an imam or a rabbi - someone who can listen!
  • Calling the police (911 in America; 999 in UK) is much better than nothing!

A wonderful resource is a human being to talk with - someone who wants to listen to you. Talk about how you feel and how you got here. Many people want to hear from you. It’s time to look for them.

Can you talk to people who feels as bad or even worse than you do? Strangely, this can sometimes provide enormous help to both of you.

A resource that has helped many people is a poem called the Desiderata. It provides simple steps for living a life true to yourself.

To increase your sense of life, focus on your children, and seek purpose in hobbies, projects or community involvement. Perhaps explore a religion or spiritual path. We help people access and experience integrity - an integrated connectedness (the Soul of Soulwork) which provides a profound and lasting sense of life direction and purpose.

Please consult your physician about any opinions or recommendations about suicidal thoughts, medical symptoms or medical conditions.

We do not counsel people who are considering suicide!


If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
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For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email